


Shadow Song

by SageMcMae



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Human/Monster Romance, I Don't Even Know, I should be thrown in the dungeon for this, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just had this in my head, Monster Boyfriend, Rey Needs A Hug, Smut, Soulmates, needed to write it, protective kylo, the smut has arrived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-05-20 19:37:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14900705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae
Summary: Rey was scared of the monster she found at Plutt's Salvage and Tow -- the monster who was now living under her bed -- until she realized the monster was protecting her. The shadow demon, Kylo Ren, was scared of his own darkness -- a darkness he had been tainted by since birth -- until he found someone to light up his existence.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a result of my writer's block for [Hit Me With Your Best Shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249611/chapters/30308949). While I am struggling to write chapter 22, the idea for another story popped into my brain. Rey keeps calling Kylo a monster. What if he was an actual, legit monster? This is what I think about while I lie awake in bed and this fic is the result of those musings. Enjoy!

It started when Rey arrived at Plutt’s Salvage and Tow. The man the foster care agency had placed her with, Unkar Plutt, was less inclined to coddle her than her foster care sponsor, which wasn’t saying much. 

Bazine Netal, her previous sponsor, had been cold, calculating, and concerned with number one. Her motivation for housing Rey was to use Rey for her own social gain, pretending to be of a maternal nature with a dainty child who looked as lovely as she did in high fashion. Rey hadn’t been what Bazine had signed up for. Apparently most people were only interested in babies. No one was looking for a stubborn, spit-fire kid who would rather have scraped knees and dirt on her shoes than wear a skirt and do her best pose for a ‘Mommy and Me’ Instagram post. Bazine would have been safer with one, had she had the constitution to care for it, because a baby wouldn’t sass her. Bazine was all too quick to be rid of her.   


Rey had never been one to care about clothes, pleased to have the hand-me-downs her mother had brought her from the Goodwill. It was usually jeans and t-shirts. On special occasions, she got a new pair of sneakers, though she preferred to run around barefoot. It was more freeing. 

Freedom was about to become a foreign concept. 

At six years old, Rey was scrawny and in the lower percentile of growth for her age group. Her tiny form had been what had drawn Plutt to her. The minute she arrived at his workplace, she knew what he saw in her. Rey had always been clever. She noted the layers upon layers of cars and debris in the junk yard. Even with machines, parsing out specific parts from the piles would be difficult. A grown man could get some of it done, but a small child could easily climb around and through some of the tighter spots. She trembled at the thought of being caged between so much metal, away from the sunshine.   


Once Bazine had taken her leave, Plutt ushered Rey into his trailer. It sat within the yard, hidden behind a pile of wrecked cars away from the front gate’s view.“This is where you sleep, girl.” She followed his finger to where he pointed to a dilapidated couch. “You’re not to come in here,” he gestured to a room at the back of the trailer. “That’s mine.” His room had a bed and a door for privacy, whereas the couch, he had directed her to, was situated by the trailer door in plain view of everything.  


Rey was in no mood to argue. She simply nodded, clutching a small backpack — which held what few belongings she did own — tight against her chest. Unkar Plutt was a large man with a menacing stare. If she wanted to survive, she would need to remain on his good side.   


Her first night was spent crying silently on the tattered couch. Plutt never heard her over his own loud snores. Rey hugged herself, curled around her backpack as the tears fell. She missed her parents. She missed her home. Most of all, she missed her yard.   


Her parents hadn’t had much, but they had owned a small parcel of land, which had been alongside a forest. The backyard had been her own little world, a place to keep her company since her parents were never around. She had spent countless hours barefoot and free in the lush grass. On more than one occasion, she had found a turtle or a frog to speak to. There was the one morning when she came across a snake, but she hadn’t bothered him. She knew better than to agitate a creature like that. It was dangerous. 

Now she was stuck in this suffocating trailer with a danger far worse. Even as she wept, she felt eyes on her, watching as she fell apart in the darkness. She glanced about the trailer, expecting to see a dog or cat, since Plutt was asleep, but there was nothing — only night. She shivered again.

She knew Plutt wouldn’t leave her alone. He had plans for her and those plans were laid out before her the next morning. 

It was still dark when Plutt had emerged from his room and dragged her out for the day. They were standing in the salvage yard, surrounded by totaled vehicles and scrap metal. Rey brought along her backpack. She didn’t trust Plutt. The idea of him going through her stuff unsettled her.  


“You work here now, girl,” he instructed her. Apparently he would not take the time to learn her actual name. “If you find me anything good, you get to eat for the day.”  


He gave her a pair of gloves, which were too big for her tiny hands, and a bottle of water. That was all. Rey stared at the items, unsure for a moment. He couldn’t be serious, could he? The foster system wouldn’t have placed her with him if he refused to feed her, right?   


“Get moving!” Plutt shouted at her.   


With a jump, Rey went running as far away from her new guardian as she could. She darted between half a Cadillac and a smashed up Scion, before she spotted an old silver Ford Falcon wedged in the back corner of the lot. It was smashed up badly, rusted and dented along the side, a clear indication it had been in an accident. Still, it was more whole than any of the other junkers in the lot. Rey decided it was the safest place to hide.  


Crawling through the broken passenger side window, she shimmied herself into the back seat. The back was spacious, the seat built like one large couch. Rey felt around under the seat, careful to avoid shards of class from the shattered windows. There was space underneath, where the levers for the seat positioning were located. That was where she shoved her backpack. It would be far safer here than back in Plutt’s trailer. 

Once it was secure, she took a minute to scan the inside of the vehicle. It was a 1979 model, outfitted with HSLA and color-keyed bumpers. She had known this particular model had extra cargo room, which was why it had been perfect for storing her treasures. The extra few inches allowed her to hide what little she had out of sight of anyone passing by the vehicle. Satisfied with where she had stashed her backpack, she turned her attention towards the front. 

Rey climbed into the driver’s seat, placing her small hands around the steering column. Whoever had last driven the car must have been tall. The seat was set back, too far for her feet to reach the pedals, not that the Ford would have started if she had keys for it. The front was badly damaged. From where she sat, she could see the door frame was bent in. For a full-grown adult, the indentation was deep enough to caress their leg. She shivered, wondering briefly if the driver had made it out alive. 

Turning her attention to the other side, she glanced down at the gear shift, and flash of gold caught her eye. Hanging from the rear view mirror was a pair of metal dice. Rey reached up, transfixed by the shiny object. There were odd markings on them, which looked as though they had been burned into the metal. She had never seen markings like it before. Curious, she stood up on the seat, so she could pull the pair down from their perch.  


The instant she touched the dice, the car darkened. The air chilled and she felt a tingle creep up her spine. Rey wondered if a thunder storm was about to hit. Angling her head so she could see out from under the roof, she noticed the sky was still void of clouds. 

Strange.   


She straighten up and stared at the rear view mirror. She wasn’t alone. There was a pair of blood red eyes staring back at her from a dark faceless form. Shrieking, she lost her footing and fell backwards through the divide into the backseat — where the creature had been. Scrambling about, she scanned the interior of the Falcon for the owner of those haunting orbs.   


Nothing was there. 

She was alone. 

  


* * *

The next time Rey saw the red eyes was about a month later. In the time between, she had convinced herself that what she saw was from lack of sleep and fear. She returned to the Ford Falcon the next day. There was nothing inside except for her backpack, still safe and hidden where she had left it. The dice still hung in the same position on the rear view mirror. Nothing had changed inside. There was no sign of life. After her inspection, she wrote off the experience as something she had imagined and focused on how to survive.

She learned quick what Plutt considered worthless and what he would trade for food. Fenders and bumpers were decent. Catalytic converters were better, as long as the car she was scavenging in had been manufactured after 1975. Electronics were always sure to get her a full meal, though those were few and far between. There had been a day when she found a working GPS. Plutt had given her a Banquet dinner and a pudding cup for that. It was the first night since she had arrived where Rey slept with a full belly. She had been chasing that satisfied feeling since. 

It was during dusk as she was on her way back to the trailer for the night. She stopped by the Falcon to check on her treasures, as she did every day. Only this time, she went inside the vehicle. The dice called to her. Before she was aware of what she was doing, she was in the front seat again, reaching up. She managed to free them from where they were looped over the rear view mirror. They felt oddly heavy in her small hand. She pocked them, wondering if Plutt would give her anything for them. It wasn’t a car part, but it was worth a shot. 

Climbing out of the window, she caught her ankle on the door handle and tumbled forward into the dirt. With a groan, she pushed herself up, brushing off the dirt which had covered her body. As she stood, the atmosphere changed. She paused, feeling the familiar chill in the air. 

“Those dice...they belong to me.”  


Snapping her head up, Rey glanced about, expecting to see the red eyes. Once again, no one was there. Shaking her head, she reminded herself she hadn’t eaten yet today. She wrote off the incident and continued walking towards the trailer. She desperately needed to eat and she hoped beyond hope Plutt would be pleased with the golden pair. Maybe she’d get another pudding cup. 

She had worked tirelessly all day until the sun set over Jakku. Now, as the night eclipsed the last of the daylight, darkness coated the entire yard. It was then she heard the voice call to her again.   


“Return the dice to me, little one.” He crooned from the shadows.   


She assumed it was a him by the sound of his voice. It was deeper than Plutt’s voice, though not less intimidating, so it couldn’t be Teedo. Maybe it was another one of Plutt’s thugs. Those brutes he employed constantly tried to steal her finds from her. Being as small as she was, they figured she wouldn’t put up a fight. The last one to come after her still wore the bite mark she had imprinted on his hand.   


“Come out.” She demanded, feigning bravery, though her words wavered. 

Rey searched for a weapon, ready to protect what was hers. She settled upon an old pipe, about two feet long. It would definitely leave a mark if it hit her opponent.   


“Don’t be afraid,” the voice implored her.   


“I’m not afraid.” She insisted, despite it being a clear lie. Her grip on the pipe tightened.   


The darkness chuckled. “You are, but if you return the dice to me, I will leave you alone.”

“I’m not giving you anything,” she hissed, baring her teeth slightly, as if she was a feral beast. 

There was a humming sound, as though he was thinking over her words. The chill from the air seeped through her skin, permeating her until it settled deep in her bones. She shivered, suddenly unable to get warm, despite the Jakku heat. Her arms erupted in gooseflesh and she hugged herself reflexively. 

“You’re lonely. At night, desperate to sleep.”  


Rey trembled at the truth in the man’s — she thought it was a man — response. She still cried at night, yearning for a need she couldn’t name. It had been weeks since she had been sent to live with Plutt. The junkyard wasn’t the same as her old backyard, but she had found a way to enjoy a tiny bit of freedom. As long as she brought decent scrap to Plutt at the end of the day, she was left alone to wander, yet the ache in her chest remained unfilled. 

It wasn’t the ache of hunger. During her first week in Jakku she had experienced that pain. The emptiness in her stomach had driven her to adapt, accelerating her understanding of motor parts. She never spent unnecessary time on a vehicle which didn’t hold worth.  


If she could hold on long enough to save up some of her rations, she could runaway. She could find her way home to her backyard and everything would go back to the way it had been. There would be no more scavenging, no more of Plutt hollering at her, and no more nights alone crying.   


Rey wanted to survive.   


“Are you going to come out?” She asked with a huff. If she meant to survive, she needed to ensure no one tried to subdue her, including this one lurking in the shadows.   


Silently, the red-eyed voice crept out of the darkness. It was difficult to discern where he ended and the night began. It was as if he was made of the shadows themselves. He was draped in obsidian, covered from head to toe in the black color, except for his glowing red eyes. Rey had to force herself not to move as he stood to his full height. He loomed before her, over six feet tall.

Rey couldn’t deny it anymore. Someone — _no, something_ — was living in the yard, hiding amongst the wreckage.  


For several minutes, the two regarded one another — the shadow monster and the orphan girl. Where he melted into the nighttime, one with the darkness, she was sun kissed from the hours spent laboring in the yard. Her brown hair had lightened slightly from the prolonged exposure and her freckles had become more prominent. There were no such features on his face — if he even had one. He was a silhouette with no defining characteristics apart from his burning gaze, which was fixed upon her.  


Rey came to the realization, as terrifying as he appeared, he hadn’t attacked her. Part of her wondered if it was because she had imagined him. She had never seen anything like this before, not on TV and not in books. Perhaps it was a dream brought on by too many hours toiling in the sun. Then he spoke and she knew what she saw was real.   


“How were you able to retrieve the dice?”  


“These?” Rey retrieved the golden pair from her pocket. His eyes followed her motion, locked on the treasure she held in her open palm.  


“Yes.”  


She shrugged. They were only a decoration. What was so important about them?  


“They have not been moved since the owner of the vehicle died and yet somehow you — a human child — were able to hold them. How?”  


The question he asked was far too much for her young mind to comprehend. All she knew was she had found the dice, abandoned in the wreck — abandoned to the junk yard as she had been. Unlike her, the shadow could have no use for them. This was her treasure — Finders, keepers and all that jazz. She wouldn’t give it up so easily. She needed to eat. 

She shrugged again. “Dunno.”  


“You know I can take whatever I want.” There was an edge to his voice when he responded, a sharp tone which was similar to how Plutt spoke to her when she didn’t bring him anything good. Rey instinctively shied away, fearful he would strike her. 

Plutt had hit her the first day she had arrived back at the trailer empty-handed. Rey had never been struck before. Her parents hadn’t been around enough to discipline her, so the idea of punishment was an alien one. Her cheek had stung for days afterwards, the red palm a brand upon her skin. His thugs had been relentless the day after, convinced she’d been broken by Plutt’s violent act. She hadn’t let them get to her, kicking one in the shin, before snarling at the rest and taking off to hide under an old pick-up truck.   


As if the shadow could see into her mind, his eyes widened. He paused, considering her stance. Slowly, he walked around to her side. Rey stayed grounded where she was. One shadowy hand reached out towards her face. He didn’t touch her, just hovered over her cheek — the same one Plutt had marked. Then, in a quieter voice, he asked, “Do you know what I am?”  


“You’re a monster.”  


“Yes, I am.”

They fell into silence again. Rey studied him, the creature spun of nighttime decorated with fire for eyes. He was scary. His broad form was darker than the normal shadows, casting out all light. Anger radiated from him, boiling rage churning the flames of his orbs. She caught something else in those eyes. Hidden beneath the depths of the flames, at the core of the fire, was raw, painful loneliness. She thought of the snake she had stayed away from in her backyard. It had been alone too. Had it been in her yard searching for a friend? Was that why it was in a constant state of agitation — because it was all alone? 

Most children her age had dozens of friends. Most children her age had parents who set-up playdates and took them to the park. Most children her age didn’t grow up alone or end up working illegally in a salvage yard. But it occurred to Rey, just because she was stuck at Plutt’s Salvage and Tow didn’t mean she couldn’t have a friend. Could monsters be good friends? She didn’t know, but she was willing to try. 

“I’m Rey.” 

She extended her hand, the way she had seen her teachers do when they met a new person. The shadow stared at her grease covered fingers, hesitating, before he took her tiny hand in his own. It wasn’t actually a handshake. She realized he couldn’t actually touch her — not in this form. His hand — maybe it was a claw? — felt like mist, or cold steam. Rey grasped at it, trying to catch the particles as they danced around her finger tips. Her attempts were as feeble as when she had tried to catch fireflies. The particles were not meant to be caught.

“Kylo Ren.” The monster introduced himself.   


She giggled both at the sensation and his response. “You have a funny name.”  


The monster — Kylo — narrowed his eyes, but before he could speak, Plutt shouted out into the night.   


“Girl! Get in here now or you’re sleeping in the yard!”  


Rey jumped, hurrying off without looking back. Had she glanced over her shoulder, she would have seen the shadow beast dissolve into the night, latching onto her shadow as he followed her to the trailer. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...I'm floored by the response to this fic. Thank you to everyone who has left Kudos and Comments. I really appreciate all the support. To show my gratitude, here's the next part!

 

Over the next few years, Rey’s life became a routine. She’d wake early, rising before the sunlight could hit the junkyard, so she could say good morning to Kylo. If he wasn't in the trailer when she woke, she could always find him in the Ford Falcon. It seemed to be his home. After stopping in to say hello, she’d check on her backpack, still safety stashed under the back seat, before starting her work for the day. She would scavenge in the yard for a couple of hours until the bus arrived to take her to school. From eight-thirty until four, she’d attend Takodana Elementary under Principal Kanata’s care. Once the bus dropped her back off at Plutt’s Salvage and Tow, it was back to work.   


 

When she had a good day, she’d be able to turn in early, eat her dinner, and do her homework in the trailer before Unkar went to bed. Those days were rare, as the inventory of the junkyard was refreshed less and less. Most days Rey worked until late in the evening to find something worth earning food. Whatever time she had left — before she collapsed in exhaustion onto the couch — was spent on homework. During the night, Kylo would slip into the trailer, hiding in the shadows. He would keep her company while she worked and watch over her while she slept. 

 

For the most part, he was content to simply crouch in the corner, watching her. There were nights when he asked her about her assignments, offering guidance on a particularly tough algebra question or debating her report content back and forth with her until she agreed to change it. The more often they spent time together, the more often he conversed with her. They had grown into a natural state of friendship and Rey cherished it more than her bag of treasures hidden in the Falcon. 

 

She had struggled to make friends at school. The other kids made fun of her old clothes and her dirty sneakers. They didn’t understand why she always came to school with grease under her nails or oil in her hair. When they went home at night, they had snacks and cartoons to watch. When she went back, she was lucky if she could scavenge enough parts to earn a meal. TV had become a distant memory for her. Sometimes she could hear it playing in Plutt’s room, but she was never allowed in there. She resigned herself to her work — both for her guardian and for school.  


 

One night when Rey was ten, Plutt came stumbling into the trailer drunk. His state wasn’t anything new. With the failing economy, his business had been taking hit after hit. He had been forced to lay off a few guys. Of course, none of that stopped him from drinking. If anything, he had increased his alcohol consumption. It hadn’t bothered Rey. It typically meant he would fall into bed and be asleep for twelve hours. However, on this particular night, his demeanor was vicious.   


 

“You,” he spat, pointing a fat finger at where she sat with her homework in her lap. “Girl, what did you bring me today?”  


 

Rey rolled her eyes, ignoring him.   


 

“Don’t you sass me, you no good for nothing, brat.” He hissed, crossing the few steps from the door to her and grabbed her roughy by her arm.   


 

She let out a yelp of pain from where his hold was pinching her skin.   


 

“Yeah, you know who’s boss around here,” he chuckled darkly, “Don’t you?” Rey angled herself as far away from him as possible. The stench of cheap liquor and cigarettes made her want to retch. “I’ll ask you one more time, girl. What did you bring me today?”  


 

“I already brought you my day’s work, Plutt,” she reminded him. “You gave me a bowl of cereal and a Twinkie.”  


 

She didn’t add she had hidden the Twinkie under her pillow for later in case the salvage was bare tomorrow.   


 

“That’s all?” His face turned murderous. “You wretched, filthy moocher. I give you a home and food and for what? So you can steal from me?”  


 

He raised his hand and Rey’s eyes widened in fear, knowing what he meant to do. She curled in on herself, attempting to protect her face.   


 

The blow never came.  


 

Rey peered up from under her arms to see Kylo manifesting in the space between her and her guardian. Unkar Plutt’s eyes were blown. He appeared as though he wanted to scream but there was no noise coming from his mouth. Instead, it was Kylo who broke the tense silence.   


 

“You will leave this trailer and forget you ever saw me,” Kylo stated in a calm voice. “You will never raise a hand to her again.”  


 

Rey watched in awe as Plutt’s eyes glazed over with a serene albeit compliant look. He mumbled something incoherent, before he walked out of the trailer, just as Kylo had commanded. Once he was gone, she turned to the monster, still trying to process what had happened. He didn't speak to her. He stood there, watching her watch him, as he had done the first night they had met. Rey recalled how she had been afraid back then, scared of the darkness he emitted. Kylo was still made of night and shadow, yet he inspired no fear in her.

 

Reaching under her pillow, she pulled out the Twinkie she had been saving. “Here.” She offered it to him. 

 

“What is this for?” 

 

“As a thank you.” She explained. “You saved me.” 

 

“I can’t,” he replied. “Save it for later, as you intended.”

 

She realized she had never seen him eat or drink anything — not once in all the years she had known him. It had never occurred to her. She had always been too busy with securing her own rations to think about what he had. Rey was ashamed of how selfish that sounded. He had been a loyal friend and she had never once shared her meals with him. “Aren't you hungry?” 

 

“I have no need to eat.” 

 

Rey tried to think of what else she could offer him. Food had become her most prized commodity, following her friendship with her shadow demon. Then she remembered one of the items she had brought with her from her home. “Come on.” 

 

Before he could object, she was out the side window of the trailer and running through the night. Wordlessly, he followed her as she led him to the Falcon. Scrambling inside, she dug around under the backseat until she found her backpack.He materialized next to her and watched her curiously, as she pulled out one of her treasures — a doll she had made from scraps of old cloth. Her parents had never had the money to buy her toys, so any she had were ones she made for herself, fashioned from worn out clothing. The doll was a faceless creation, like Kylo, woven with white and orange fabric.

 

“Here,” she pushed the doll across the seat towards him. “I made him. He used to be my protector, but I don’t need him now. I have you.” 

 

Kylo’s eyes enlarged as they flickered from her face to the doll and back. She watched him, worried he wouldn’t take the offering. It wasn’t much. The fabric was ratty and covered in dirt from the days when she had brought the doll out in the backyard with her. It wasn’t manufactured the way the mass produced toys were. She had seen the Barbies her classmates had when they were younger. This was nothing compared to those. 

 

Still, it was hers. She had made it herself and had slept with it each evening until she had arrived at Plutt’s. It had kept her company on the nights her parents had fought or on the worse nights when they hadn’t come home at all. 

 

After a few moments, Kylo’s tendril of a hand circled around the doll. He couldn't hold it, just as he couldn't touch her. She shuffled around, until she decided the best place to showcase the doll was in the front, propped up against the windshield. "I'll keep him here so you'll always have a part of me."

 

Her demon stared at her, his feature-less face unreadable. Then, just as she began to doubt her offering, he said softly, “Thank you.”

 

Rey beamed, pleased her idea had worked. 

 

“No one has ever stood up to Plutt before,” she told him, as they made their way back to the trailer. 

 

“He’s a monster,” Kylo bit out, as they arrived at the same window she had exited from. Rey raised an eyebrow at him, perplexed by his word choice. Her expression wasn’t lost on him. “There is more than one kind of monster in this world, little one.” He gestured to her homework, sitting forgotten on the couch inside. “Get back to it. You still have a whole chapter to read before you are finished.” 

 

Rey groaned at the reminder and did as he suggested. 

 

The next morning, Plutt barked his usual orders at Rey, as if nothing had happened the night prior. He never struck her again. 

  


* * *

When Rey moved from the elementary school to the middle school the following year, she cried. She was going to miss Takodana and Principal Kanata, who had told her to call her ‘Maz’. While she hadn’t made friends, she was loved by all the staff. It was going to be an adjustment to lose them all during the transition. 

 

The middle school — D’Qar — was an additional ten minute bus ride down the road, which meant even less time to scavenge in the yard.   


 

As she grew up, she had become aware of the fact Plutt would never let her go. His staff only consisted of himself and Teedo now. He relied on Rey more than when he had agreed to foster her — not that he paid her any better. She had started eating most of her meals at school, stealing extra sides when she could. It was never enough and all too often she went to bed hungry.   


 

To help keep her mind off of the empty belly, Rey had started tinkering with the old Falcon. She had decided if she ever wanted to escape Plutt, she was going to need a car. The silver Ford was garbage, but she was determined to fix it.   


 

“What are you doing?” Kylo asked one night, while she labored underneath the vehicle.

   


“See here?” She pointed to a pinched piece of tubing. “She has a kink in the brake line. I’m replacing it.”  


 

He scoffed. “Since when do you know how to repair cars, little one?”  


 

“Since I taught myself.”  


 

"And since when do you repair cars instead of picking them clean?" 

 

"Since I need a ride out of this place."

 

He made a humming sound, before he stated, “If Plutt figures out what you're doing, he won’t be pleased.”  


 

That went without saying. Plutt didn’t like her to do anything but find him money in his landfill of metal. It was why she made sure to do most of her repairs at night, under the guise of looking for additional salvage. Plutt was usually in the trailer asleep or watching TV at that time. 

 

Rey shrugged. “I don’t care. I’m leaving. You, me, and this old piece of junk.”  


 

Kylo was silent for a moment. He seemed to mull over her words, before he queried. “Where do you plan on going?”  


 

“Home.”  


 

“Why go back there?”  


 

“For my family.”  


 

His eyes narrowed into thin slits of red light. “Your family dumped you here. They threw you away like garbage.”  


 

"They didn't."

 

"They did." 

 

“They’ll be back,” she huffed, wiping an arm across the sweat beading on her forehead. Even at night, Jakku was hot.   


 

“Rey-.”  


 

“I’d rather not do this now,” she said, icily. 

 

Her tone was a sharp contrast to how warm she was feeling. Her anger was boiling beneath her skin.  They had had this exact conversation at least a hundred times. He was convinced her parents were gone. He believed they had left her because they didn’t want her and had attempted to persuade her of the same. Rey didn’t want to believe it. She had been with Plutt for almost seven years, yet she still held out hope one day her parents would walk through the gates to take her back home.   


 

“Yeah, me either,” Kylo grumbled, obviously irritated by her stubbornness. 

 

She continued to move about, making sure the new line was adequately secured in position, before she crawled back out from under the vehicle. When she did, Kylo saw a new bruise blossoming on her right arm. 

 

“Rey, what’s that?” She followed his floating particles to where they were pointing to the discoloration on her skin. She ignored him. “Rey,” he growled. 

 

“It’s nothing,” she growled back. 

 

“That isn’t nothing. I know you didn’t get it here, so how did it happen?”

 

Shuffling over to her make-shift toolbox — a new creation she had made from invaluable scrap metal — she started searching for a wrench. She had lifted one from Teedo three weeks ago. He still hadn’t noticed it was missing. 

 

Kylo stood over her, waiting for a response. There was no way to talk her way around it. With a sigh, she told him about the bullying at her new school.

 

As a child, the teasing had been mean, but bearable. Now, as pre-teens and teenagers, the jabs cut deeper and the banter was relentless. Rey had done her best to ignore it, sometimes taking lunch in the bathroom for a brief bit of solitude. That had only made matters worse. 

 

One of the girls in her class, Mashra Aqualish, discovered her hideout. She had called attention to it, saying it was unhygienic and the school administration had stepped in. Rey was forced to eat her meals in the cafe along with the rest of the school. After Mashra’s announcement, she felt as though she was wearing a target on her back. The other students muttered things like, “junkyard rat” or “scavenger scum.” 

 

Then came the physical altercations. Rey was in the same gym class as Mashra and the girl’s boyfriend Ivano Troade. The two worked in tandem to force Rey into a position during dodge ball to take the most hits. When she had fallen, not one of her classmates, nor the gym teacher had given her a second glance. In the locker room, she had confronted Mashra. One of the girl’s friends shoved Rey into the nearest locker, resulting in the bruise Kylo had seen. 

 

“It’s only a couple more years,” she told him, upon concluding her tale. “They will tire of picking on me eventually.” 

 

“We’ll see,” he murmured.

 

* * *

 

The next day, as Rey approached her locker she noticed it was covered in sticky notes and other scraps of paper. The notes varied in content but in one way or another, they all referred to her as dirty, pathetic, and unwanted. One went as far as to say it was why her parents had abandoned her. It was that one which made tears prick at the corners of her eyes. Just as she began to remove them from her locker, Mashra and Ivano came up alongside her, smacking her hand down. 

 

“Uh-uh, scavenger,” Ivano taunted her. “Leave them up. We all worked really hard on it. We want to share our thoughts with the rest of the school.”

 

“Take it down,” Rey snapped, smacking him back. 

 

“Not very nice,” Mashra made a clicking noise with her tongue. “Guess you don’t have any parents to teach you manners.” 

 

Rey pulled her hand back, ready to punch the snobbish girl, when the air dropped several degrees and the lights in the corridor flickered. She dropped her fist, while her classmates glanced around nervously. The demon grew out from her shadow on the ground, coming to stand beside her. Her two classmates balked at the sight, mirroring the expression Plutt had worn on the night Kylo had confronted him.   


 

“You will remove your paraphernalia and leave this hallway.”  


 

“We will remove our paraphernalia and leave this hallway,” they chorused back in unison. Their eyes were glazed over, as if they were sleep walking.   


 

Rey watched, stunned, as the two did exactly as Kylo said. They tore down each and every scrap of paper taped to her locker. Rey watched as they ripped up the written insults and tossed them in an empty classroom waste bin, before walking off in the direction of the eighth grade wing. As they rounded the corner, disappearing from sight, she turned to Kylo.   


 

“How long have you been doing that?”  


 

“Doing what?”  


 

“Hiding in my shadow.”  


 

Had he had a mouth, she was sure he would be smirking down at her. “Long enough.”  


 

“That’s not an answer, Kylo.”  


 

“What answer would you like, little one?”  


 

“The truth.”  


 

“That was the truth.”  


 

“Ugh!” Rey let out a frustrated scream, kicking her locker door closed. “You can’t keep doing this!”

 

“What? Protecting you?”  


 

“Yes!”

 

She couldn’t understand why he didn’t see this as a problem. If she kept relying on him, if she kept letting him fight her battles for her, then she’d never learn to do it herself when he left her. Rey felt herself pause at the prospect of losing her only friend. She didn’t want to think of a life without him, yet she had begun preparing — at least on a subconscious level — for him to abandon her, as everyone else in her life had.  


 

His eyes narrowed, as if he suspected her thoughts, but when he spoke it was only in regards to her current argument. “When it was Plutt who struck you, I heard no complaints.”  


 

“Mashra and Ivano didn’t hit me.”

 

“No, but they hurt you.”

 

She took a deep breath, stilling her anger and her nerves. He was right. She knew he was right, but she had wanted vengeance. She had been so angry by Mashra’s words, so overwhelmed by her emotions all she had wanted to do was hurt the girl the way she had hurt her. She had spiraled out of control, going right for the darkness. She hadn’t hesitated. With a sigh, she opened her locker back up, to retrieve he necessary books.

 

“Let’s get out of here before someone else sees you.”

 

“Rey-.”

 

“I’m fine,” she cut him off hastily, sensing he wanted to discuss her other fear. He shifted backwards a bit, so she calmly added, “Thank you, Kylo.”

 

They moved together in silence down the still empty hallway, towards Rey’s first period class. She wondered if he had the same kind of sway over the thoughts of the entire building. Normally at this time of day the hallways were jam packed with students hurrying to first period. Against her better judgement, she decided not to ask. She was too busy appreciating the quiet to question it.

 

When they arrived at her classroom, they paused outside the door. “Rey?” Kylo tilted his head towards hers.

 

“Yeah?”

 

"Are you still planning on running away?"

 

"Yes."

 

“May I suggest a back-up destination?” She furrowed her brow in confusion. “In case you are wrong about your family,” he supplied.   


 

She wasn't sure why he was bringing it up now. The Falcon still needed a lot work. It wouldn't be ready any time soon. So unless he was planning on being around for several more years, he needn't worry about where she was going. Rey caught the look in his red orbs. Ah, so he had read her mind then. In his own way, he was trying to console her.

 

“Alright,” she played along. “Where do you want to go?”  


 

“Anywhere but here…as long as I’m with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still interested in where this is going, hold on. A big twist is about to come...
> 
> I'll probably be updating [Hit Me With Your Best Shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249611/chapters/30308949) next and possibly [Same Eyes, Different People](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708050/chapters/31488963) before Shadow Song, but the next part should be up within the week.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say thank you enough for all the support this tiny ficlet has received. I'm in awe!
> 
> In honor of my anniversary -- here's the next chapter a few days early.

When Rey turned sixteen, the high school held their annual Spring Renewal dance in the gym. Principal Organa hosted the dance every year in memory of her late husband. Han Solo had been killed in a car accident years earlier, resulting in his death. Though the official name of the dance was Spring Renewal, the students all referred to it as the 'Sweetheart Dance', because it was the nickname Han had given his wife. 

 

His death had been a terrible tragedy which had rocked the town to its core, but Principal Organa had been determined to find hope, even in the darkest of times. She had turned her misfortune into a reason for living life to the fullest. Of course, for most teenagers that translated to sneaking in cheap booze and grinding up against one another — neither of which Rey was interested in. 

 

A few nights before the event, she was finishing up her calculus homework when a flyer for the dance fell out of her notebook onto the trailer floor. Kylo eyed the offending piece of paper with wary curiosity. 

 

“What is that?”

 

Rey lifted her gaze from her scribbled problems to the bright pink sheet, then back to her homework. Hastily, she untucked her hair to cover her cheeks in an attempt to hide her blush from him. “It’s just a dance at school.”

 

Silence. 

 

She breathed a sigh of relief, turning her attention back to her list of problems on continuous change. Her class was working on partial derivatives this month. While the rest of her classmates struggled with the concept, it had come rather easily to Rey. She was finishing up number eleven on her scrap of notebook paper, when Kylo spoke again. 

 

“Are you going?” he asked, his voice sounding a bit tight. He was glaring at the flyer, as if it had wronged him. 

 

“No,” she let out a bark of a laugh. “Of course not.”

 

He didn’t respond. After another few minutes passed in silence, she peeked up at him, noticing his stare was still fixated upon the flyer. 

 

She hadn’t told him about the dance for a few reasons. One — It was held in the gym, which could fit the entire school population. If Kylo followed her, there was a good chance he’d be spotted by more people than he could compel. She didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of his unveiling. Two — Rey didn't have a dress. Plutt only paid her in food, never actual money. If she needed new clothes or shoes, she often had to get handouts from the local Salvation Army. Yet neither of those reasons bothered her as much as the last one. She hadn't brought up the dance because of her relationship with Kylo. T hings had been changing between them. She couldn’t put her finger on what exactly it was, but she had been feeling differently towards him. She was too afraid to ask him if he felt it too. 

 

“No one asked you to go,” he surmised, interrupting her thoughts. 

 

“No.” She replied. His gaze snapped up to her, eyes blazing with fire. 

 

In fact, she had been asked by several guys. Ever since Ivano and Mashra had stopped bullying her — which she suspected had something to do with Kylo’s influence — the taunts and jeers had slowed until they were no more. It also helped she had gotten slightly wider hips and a pair of perky breasts, even if they were small. 

 

“No, you weren’t asked or no, you were?” 

 

Rey inhaled deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes. Her stomach churned, recognizing his irritated tone. Part of her mind yelled, _Danger, danger_ , but she hadn’t been afraid of Kylo in years. She wasn’t about to revert to her six-year-old self. She had grown beyond that scared little girl. 

 

After Kylo had confronted her classmates, she had asked the gym teacher — a large Russian man named Mr. Chewbacca — if he could give her self-defense lessons during her free period. Mr. Chewbacca, or Chewie as the students affectionately called him, had agreed. Rey had spent the remainder of her middle school years learning from him, absorbing all he could teach her. By the time she had graduated to the high school her lanky body was made of lean muscle and she had a boost in her confidence. 

 

“I was asked,” she clarified for Kylo, needing that same confidence to reply, “but I’m not going.” She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous to tell him. It was the truth. They often talked about what was happening at school and how her day was. Why was this any different? It was just a stupid school function, hardly a blip on her radar. That was the problem though. Certain things were harder to talk about now. The more she matured, the more difficult she found it to confide in him. 

 

“Why?” 

 

She shrugged, turning back to her homework. Her stomach clenched. While the boys who had asked her had all been attractive in their own way, none of them were appealing. There was something missing. None of them were dangerous or bold enough. She needed someone powerful, someone who she could go toe to toe with, someone to challenge her. Those boys at school were not enough for her. 

 

_But Kylo is,_ the traitorous voice in her brain supplied. 

 

“I don’t feel like it.” Rey couldn’t look at him, afraid if she met his gaze, he’d know what she had been thinking.

 

He didn’t miss a beat. “Who asked you?” 

 

“What is this? Twenty questions?” She responded rapidly, feeling defensive. 

 

“Why don’t you want to tell me?”

 

“It doesn't matter.”

 

“It matters to me,” he insisted, drawing closer to her. She ignored him, writing down her answer to problem number twelve. He repeated his question. “Who asked you, Rey?”

 

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Snap Wexley, Oddy Muva, and Kare Kun.” 

 

The shadow demon let out a low, threatening sound. “And you told them no?” She nodded, figuring that would have been obvious. “When did they ask?” 

 

Rey slammed her book shut, forgetting about her homework. He needed to stop asking her about the dance. His relentless line of questioning was making her uncomfortable. She didn’t want to think why that was. She only wanted him to stop talking about it. Jumping to her feet, she got in his face — or where his face would be if he was human. “I figured you would know since you are always lurking in my shadow anyway!”

 

“I haven’t done that,” he growled back, though after a moment under her own heated gaze, he added, “recently.”

 

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Define recently.”

 

“In the last couple of weeks.” 

 

“Why the sudden change?”

 

Kylo didn’t respond to her question. Instead, he moved away from her, to the far end of the trailer, opposite of Plutt’s room. She could sense the anger and frustration rolling off him, but there was something else. There was another emotion boiling on the surface she didn’t recognize. Suddenly she wondered if he was alright. Were his powers not the same? Perhaps he couldn’t follow her anymore. She started to reach for him, concerned. He flinched — could shadows flinch? — when her hand brushed through his shadowy particles. 

 

“Kylo?”

 

“I don’t have to explain myself to you!” He boomed at her. 

 

The lights flickered and the ground quaked beneath them. Rey’s eyes widened, having never seen him use his powers to this extent before. She had to reach out with both arms to steady herself as the trailer shook. His eyes were scorching red, burning like a furnace. His wrath had no equal. It was clear his powers had not been diminished at all. If anything, they had grown over time. 

 

When the vibrations came to an end, he was still there, fuming. Rey clenched her fists at her side and ground her teeth. “I think you should leave,” she said quiet, but firm. 

 

“Fine.” 

 

Without another word he vanished, leaving Rey alone in the trailer for the first time since she had met him. 

 

* * *

 

The next day, when Rey woke up, she was alone. Not even Plutt was in the trailer. She had expected Kylo to slink back inside at some point in the night and apologize. He hadn’t. 

 

_Well fine_ , she thought stubbornly. _If he doesn’t want to see me right now, then I don’t want to see him either._  


 

She stayed clear of the Falcon as she labored in the yard. Her thoughts were chaotic, as she tried to focus on anything but the absence of her friend. After years of having a shadow — literally and figuratively — she missed the constant presence of her monster.   


 

The bus to school couldn’t come soon enough. When it did, Rey was grateful for the excuse to leave. She was always happy when she could distance herself from Plutt, but today she was especially thankful for the reprieve her classes would grant her.   


 

Unfortunately, it happened to be a slow day. Since Rey concentrated most of her energy on school, she was one of the top students in her grade. She had tested out of physics at the start of the year and had an extra free period built into her schedule.   


 

As with every other day, she used the period to her advantage, squirreling herself away in the library to work on her assignments. After twenty minutes, she had finished all her work. Left with nothing but time, she ventured around the archives, wandering aimlessly until she spotted a collection of old newspapers from around the time of her abandonment.   


 

Curious, Rey knelt by the box marked with the year she had been sent to live with Plutt. Perhaps this held the answers she sought. Maybe someone had known her parents — had written about what had happened to them. She began paging through the issues, scanning the headlines for anything resembling an answer. 

 

Half-way through the collection, she caught a bold headline. “Han Solo, Professional Formula 1 Racer, Killed by Drunk Driver.” Rey felt herself reaching for the paper, carefully pulling the yellowing pages out of the box. The headline wasn’t what made her go further. It had been the vehicle in the cover image — a silver 1979 Ford Falcon with a pair of dice hanging from the rear view mirror.  


 

She read through the article, which spanned the entire cover page and page six of the paper. Han had been out for a night drive when a drunk had swerved into oncoming traffic and hit him on the passenger side of his vehicle, sending the Falcon into a tail spin. It had landed against a tree off the side of the road, hitting one final time.   


 

Rey swallowed. A terrible feeling of dread clutched at her. A small voice in her brain warned her to stop reading, but she continued.   


 

The other car, a beat up Pontiac Aztec, had been totaled after striking the Falcon. The driver and his wife had been killed on impact. Results of the autopsies confirmed both had been under the influence. The police mentioned in their statement that neither should have been driving, since they didn’t have licenses. They had both been charged with DUIs in the past and their driving privileges had been revoked. Rey read the paragraphs pertaining to the Aztec over once more.   


 

The Falcon wasn't the only vehicle in the article she recognized. Suddenly, she understood. She knew why her family had never shown up to save her from Plutt. They were dead. They weren't coming back for her — to her.   


 

Kylo had been right.    


 

As if the truth of her parents wasn’t devastating enough, there was the added horror of how their actions had ruined another’s future. Her parents had selfishly abandoned her and widowed Principal Organa in the process.   


 

Rey saw it all — as if she had been there on that fateful night. She heard the blaring sirens, saw the grief stricken face of Principal Organa as she arrived at the scene. Rey watched the first responders hold the widow back as she screamed at the car, arms flailing as she tried to reach for someone who was no longer there. Down the road was the smashed remnants of Rey’s parents’ car. No one was concerned about them. They were nobodies — alcoholics who had ended the life and career of a promising professional racer. Their choices had stolen him from his wife and left her alone.

 

Just like their daughter.   


 

Alone.  


 

She continued reading, until she had absorbed every last word. By the end of the article, Rey could see no more. Her eyes were too filled with tears. She turned away, letting them run down her cheeks. Hidden in the library, she wept.   


 

When the bell rang to signal the end of the period, she wiped her face clean with her sleeve and returned the box to its proper place. 

 

It was one issue short. 

 

* * *

 

In the afternoon, Rey returned to Plutt’s Salvage and Tow, forgetting all about her disagreement with Kylo. She made a beeline for the Falcon, clutching the borrowed newspaper in her hands. As she came to a halt in front of the vehicle, her hands shook. She raised the paper up, comparing the wreck in the photo to the one before her.  


 

It was an identical match —   


 

— Save for the orange and white rag doll on the console and the missing golden dice (which Rey still kept with her at all times).  


 

She shivered, unsure how many times she had crawled around the vehicle unaware it was where someone had died. She had always assumed the damage was from an accident. A sturdy model like the Falcon didn’t end up in a junk yard unless it had been seriously wrecked. Still, she had never thought about the possibility of the vehicle being the scene of a fatality. And she had been using it like a clubhouse since she was six. She felt sick.   


 

Rey felt the ghostly chill of her friend’s presence before he spoke. “Rey? What’s wrong? What happened?”  


 

She turned around slowly, unsure what version of Kylo she would come to face. Would he be the same friend she had grown accustomed to seeing or would he be the calloused demon she had encountered last night?  


 

Raising her gaze to meet his, she saw her friend. Relief flooded through her. It had only been a day but she had missed him. The weight of her revelations crashed over her. She was alone. The truth she had discovered was far more heartbreaking than the years of waiting she had endured. Her last semblance of hope dimmed and she felt like a child again, alone and scared in the dark confines of Plutt’s trailer. She dropped the paper to throw her arms around Kylo and — passed through him.   


 

_Oh, right._  


 

They couldn't truly touch one another. She felt foolish for trying. Taking a step back, she lifted her chin to meet his gaze. His eyes were full of pain.   


 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “Did I hurt you?”  


 

“No.”  


 

“I just...,” her voice trailed off and she sighed. “I wish I could hug you." She wrapped her arms around herself. "I could use a hug right now."   


 

Kylo’s eyes disappeared momentarily. She assumed he was blinking. Could shadow demons blink? When his eyes reappeared, they held no trace of the fire from last night. Instead there was a molten churning of vibrant colors.  


 

“I’m sorry,” he said. "And I'm sorry about last night too."  


 

Rey bit back her bottom lip. “Me too.”  


 

“Are you alright? Did something happen at school?”  


 

“Yes.”  


 

“What?” He growled, clearly believing some one had hurt her again.  


 

“It’s not what you think,” Rey replied.   


 

She took a deep breath, nervous about how to approach what she had found with him. Her search in the library had been about proving him wrong, but it had yielded more than she had bargained for.   


 

“Did you know the man who owned this car?” She pointed to the Falcon.  


 

“Yes.”  


 

“Is...is that why you are bound to it?”

 

“I’m not bound to the Falcon,” he answered her evenly.  


 

She could hear there was more left unsaid by his tone. “But you are bound to something?”  


 

“Yes.”  


 

“What?”  


 

Kylo chuckled. “That, little one, is a story for another time.”  


 

Rey bent down to retrieve the forgotten newspaper. As she straightened up, she brushed the dirt off the front page. “I’m not so little anymore.”  


 

“I know.”   


 

She didn’t fail to notice how his voice deepened when he responded. It had her shivering again, though this time it wasn’t from fear. It was from something else, something she had never felt before. Rey locked eyes with him and saw the same unnamed emotion in his eyes from last night. Before she could question him about it, he spoke again.   


 

“You are still little compared to me, so I think I’ll keep calling you that.”   


 

Rey rolled her eyes. He _would_ tease her about her height. It wasn’t her fault he was a towering mess of darkness. He wasn’t human like her.   


 

“Come on, oh, demonic one,” she joked back, as she dropped her backpack in the dirt. “I have work to do.” 

 

She still had many questions — far too many in her opinion — but she was content to spend the day with him. Rey decided to be selfish for a change. She would allow herself this time with Kylo.

 

Just like every other afternoon, the two friends made their way around the salvage yard, undisturbed by the outside world. 

 

* * *

 

The remainder of the week, Rey dedicated all her free periods and lunch to researching the Solo accident. Once she had read the article, she couldn’t forget it. After finding her own connection to the incident, she had been left with more questions than answers. She became obsessed with unearthing the truth. It was an equation she only had some of the parts for. Her curious brain couldn't solve this problem without the missing variables, so she needed to find them. 

 

What she found was more than truth. It was a mystery.  


 

Han Solo hadn’t been the only one in the fatal car crash all those years ago. He had been accompanied by his son, — the only child of Han and Leia — Ben Solo. Rey hadn’t even known they had any children. Principal Organa never mentioned a son and she hadn’t seen any mention of him in the article. There were no pictures anywhere or descriptions of the boy. It was as if he was a ghost long before he had been in the accident. Rey returned to the newspaper files to find out more about the enigma that was Ben Solo. 

 

It took her the rest of the week, but on Friday afternoon, she finally came across a guest writer named Amilyn Holdo. Ms. Holdo appeared to be a close family friend of the Organa-Solo's. Her article was dated about a month after the accident and provided an update on how Ben was faring. According to Ms. Holdo, Han had been home for the weekend to practice driving with his son. Their innocent night out had taken a turn for the worst when they had been struck. She thanked the community for their ongoing digression and understanding in Leia’s time of mourning.

 

Rey read it all while sitting on the floor, as her eyes poured over the printed words. Unlike Han, the boy had survived. Ben had suffered intense lacerations all over his body, including one across his face and down his torso. His internal bleeding had been extensive, so he was placed in the ICU and scheduled for multiple procedures. Rey finished the article and reached for the next issue of the paper and the next. 

 

The updates from Ms. Holdo went on and on over several months, as she reported on how Leia was holding up with the loss of her husband and the state of her only child. After several surgeries and treatments, Ben was healing. He had been forced into a medically induced coma due to his substantial injuries. As time went on, there as no change. When Ben was completely healed, the doctors tried to bring him out of the coma, but he never regained full consciousness. Principal Organa refused to take him off life support. She moved him from the hospital to a top of the line facility in Chandrila. She left him there, asleep, like a fairy tale prince waiting for the kiss of life. Each update was shorter and shorter, until they ended abruptly on the first anniversary of Han’s death.  


 

Apparently, Ben was still holding on — stuck in a realm between this life and the next.

 

As Rey exited the library on Friday afternoon, she was left wondering about the state of the unconscious boy. She wouldn’t have access to the library again until Monday, but her inquisitive mind couldn’t wait. She needed to find out more. 

 

When Kylo found her, she told him she needed some time alone for ‘lady things’ which always seemed to unnerve him. She hated lying to him, but it was the only thing which would ensure he’d leave her be for the night.He lingered, asking if she was going to try to sneak out to the dance. Rey had actually forgotten about the Spring Renewal dance. In light of what she had discovered, crowding into the high school gym was low on her priority list. She was glad she didn't need to lie on that account. After he was sure she wasn't running off to spend the evening with Snap, Oddy, Kare, or one of the other boys, he made himself scarce. 

 

For once, Rey considered herself lucky she lived with Plutt. It made it all the more easy to slip into his office unnoticed to find the title deed for the Falcon. 

 

The trail of the silver Ford was a bit jumbled. After she spent time stalling in Plutt’s office to dig through his ancient looking file cabinet, it still took Rey several hours to piece together the timeline. There were so many grease stains on the documents, it was difficult to decipher. Rey began to tape each piece up on the inside of an old VW Beetle. The car was rubbish, but the windshield was in good enough condition to serve her purpose. 

 

From what she could piece together, the Falcon had been put up for sale by Leia, who couldn’t stand the sight of it after the accident. Rey understood why. She hadn’t set foot inside since she had learned of its bloody history. The vehicle had been bought by Gannis Ducain, a Formula One collector. He had fell upon misfortune when he lost it in a card game to the Irving Boys, who eventually sold it to Plutt. Though all of the men who had owned it after Han were borderline criminals, none of what she found explained her demon friend. 

 

When her research into the real world and real facts came up empty, she opted to expand her options. She waited until Plutt was asleep. She snuck out of the trailer and back to his office. He had a dinosaur computer set-up, but it had a working Internet connection. Rey began Googling everything she could think of to explain her friend. Witchcraft, Druid rites, and other nonsensical literature populated the search results as she attempted to unmask the mystery of Kylo Ren. 

 

By the time the sun rose on Saturday morning, Rey was nowhere closer to an answer. She cleared the browser history and powered down the computer system. Exhausted and frustrated, she made her way to the VW which still held up her timeline. With a slam of the rickety car door, she slunk inside. Rey burrowed herself between the torn backseat and the trunk, away from the sunlight and away from prying eyes. Kylo found her curled up, with half-lidded eyes.

 

"Hey," she greeted him sleepily. 

 

"Did Plutt's snoring keep you up again?" 

 

"Something like that," she replied through a yawn. She didn't have the energy to lie to him, but she wasn't ready to tell him what she had been up to either.

 

Kylo's shadowy particles brushed across her forehead, tickling her bare skin. “Rest, little one. I’ll be here when you wake.”

 

Rey closed her eyes and sleep claimed her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liking the direction this fic is taking? Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your love and continued support for this story. I can honestly say this was just a spark of an idea I typed out one night and it has turned into a full fledged story. And that's all because of each and every one of you. Thank you!!!

 

The next several weeks, Rey continued her search for a reason to explain Kylo’s existence. It was fruitless. Nothing in the library, in the archives, or on the Internet aligned with what she knew of her demon friend. The Solo accident remained her only tie to him.  


 

As the end of the school year approached, she had less and less time to devote to her research, focused on graduating with high honors in the hopes of obtaining a scholarship when she graduated. College was expensive, but it would offer her a chance to be free of Plutt while also providing an opportunity for a better future.  


 

After years of toiling in the salvage yard, she had her heart set on becoming an engineer. Rey wanted to design a sustainable vehicle, one which wouldn’t rely on rapidly depleting resources or waste years decaying when it was done running. She had dreams of creating a machine which could last without negatively impacting the world around it.   


 

Her Calculus teacher, Mr. Andor thought her idea was brilliant. He had discussed it with his wife, who was the high school's Physics teacher, Mrs. Erso-Andor. Both had agreed Rey's creation could become a reality at a company like Tesla in California. Their praise had pleased Rey enough for her to use her idea for her end of year project.   


 

Though the notion of actually moving to California and working in Palm Alto seemed far-fetched, Rey couldn’t help but be excited about how her final project would be received. Mr. Andor had already expressed his interest during class and she had caught him talking her up in the teachers’ lounge one afternoon.   


 

Working on her concept helped her keep her obsession at bay until the end of her junior year. Kylo stayed at her side each night as she labored in the back of the yard, leveraging discarded pieces of vehicles to create a model of the type of engine she wanted to build. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best she could do with such limited options.   


 

“Why a car?” Her monster asked the night before her presentation.  


 

Rey was putting the final touches on the model, carefully soldering a piece back into place.   


 

“There are over 236 million cars in our country and even more in China. The amount of pollution our transportation pumps into the atmosphere each year is catastrophic. If we could lessen and potentially eliminate the pollution, it would help everyone.”  


 

“Why do you want to help everyone?” He asked, watching her nimble fingers work. “No one has ever helped you.”  


 

“That’s not true,” she paused to smile over at him. “You’ve helped me more times than I can count.”  


 

He didn’t say anything in response to her. She finished her work in silence, all too aware of the way his eyes bore into her.  


 

Once she had completed the model, she hid it away, in the trunk of the VW she had slept in. She didn’t want to take a chance that Plutt would find it and question her or worse destroy it before she had a chance to unveil it for her teacher.   


 

“You can’t create anything here,” Kylo told her as they made their way towards the trailer.   


 

“I know,” she replied.   


 

“Where will you go?”  


 

“Mr. Andor and his wife suggested California.”  


 

“That’s on the other side of the country,” Kylo remarked. She caught how his eyes burned, but he kept his voice even as he spoke.   


 

Rey nodded. “Which is why my next project is going to be finishing the Falcon. We need a set of wheels if we are going to go out there.”  


 

“We?”  


 

She stilled, hand hovering over he trailer door. Kylo was watching her with an unreadable expression. “Yes, we,” she informed him, turning around. “Or did you forget you are coming with me when I leave this place?”  


 

He made a humming sound and she could have sworn he smiled, though it was impossible for her to know that. After all, he had no mouth. “I didn’t forget.”  


 

“Good.”  


 

“Good,” he repeated, as they remained standing just outside the trailer, staring at one another. Rey wondered if he ever felt as unsure about their relationship as she did. Regardless of how her feelings had changed, she knew she always wanted him in her life. Whatever happened in the future, whether they were stuck here or out in California, she would find a way for them to remain together.   


 

“I won’t abandon you,” she promised, in a soft voice. “I know what that’s like. I would never do that to you.”  


 

“I know, little one.” He reached over, carefully brushing the particles of his shadowy form over her hairline. “And I will never leave you.”  


 

Had he had hands, the gesture would have been akin to him brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. He had taken to doing that a lot recently — these phantom touches. It was like a whisper of contact, brief and fleeting, and gone almost as soon as it started. Yet each time, Rey felt butterflies in her stomach. This time was no exception.   


 

She wondered what it would be like to feel him, to actually touch him. Had he been human, like her, they could have hugged as she had so often wanted. They would have been able to hold each other at night, so neither of them would have cause to be alone. And if he had been human, he would have had lips she could kiss.   


 

Her mind raced with the possibilities, until she remembered how she had lied to him a couple of months back. Even though it had been in pursuit of what had him bound so she could free him, she still felt bad about it. Kylo was her only friend and the one who mattered most to her. She hated how she had betrayed his trust, despite her best intentions.   


 

“Rey-.”  


 

“I should get some sleep,” she cut him off, suddenly wrought with guilt and unable to look him in the eye. Quickly, she turned away and entered the trailer.   


 

“Al-alright,” he mumbled, following her inside and seeking out his normal shadowy corner to curl up in. Rey arranged herself on the couch, ignoring the loud snores from Plutt’s room.   


 

“Sleep well, little one.”  


 

“Goodnight, Kylo.”

  


* * *

Rey’s presentation was a total success. Not only was Mr. Andor impressed by the level of detail she had achieved in her model, but he had invited several other teachers from the science and math departments to sit in on her class period. Imagine her shock when she noticed Principal Organa sitting in the back of the room.   


 

While the stout woman was neither a mathematician or a scientist, she was undoubtedly the most powerful authority figure in the room. Which was why when she approached Rey at the conclusion of her presentation, Rey was struck speechless. The high from completing her final project and effectively being done for the rest of the year momentarily blinded her to the fact that this woman and her shared a haunted past.   


 

“Rey,” the principal extended her hand.   


 

Out of habit, Rey brushed her hand across her shirt, always conscious of he fact she may have grease oil from her work on her skin. “Principal Organa. I didn’t realize you’d be here,” she said as she returned he woman’s firm handshake.  


 

“It’s not every day Cassian, er, Mr. Andor speaks so highly of an individual in his class, especially one who was bright enough to test out of Mrs. Erso-Andor’s class.”

 

“Thank you.”  


 

“Tell me, Rey,” Principal Organa continued, leading her out of the classroom so as not to interrupt the next presenter. “Have you given any thought to where you’d like to go upon graduation?”  


 

“Well, I still have a year,” Rey pointed out, as they stood in the empty hallway.  


 

“That’s not much time at all.”  


 

Rey shrugged. “College is my goal, but I would need a scholarship...or three,” she admitted.  


 

Principal Organa nodded, thoughtfully. “It is expensive, especially if you are doing it on your own, though I’m sure your parents would help you as best they could.”  


 

“No, they won’t.”  


 

“No?”   


 

Rey felt foolish for falling into the conversational trap. She hadn’t spoken of her parents to anyone, not since the years of bullying at the middle school. She found it was better to leave it unsaid.   


 

“Um...my parents are dead. I’m a ward of the state.”  


 

“Oh, forgive me,” Principal Organa hurriedly apologized. “I didn’t realize.”  


 

_That my parents were the ones who killed your husband and turned your son into a vegetable?,_ she thought, bitterly. _Yeah me either.  
_

 

“It’s fine,” Rey responded.  


 

She didn’t want to think of how Principal Organa’s kind eyes would harden if she knew the truth. The woman had already suffered so much. Rey was certain if the principal knew who she was, any further discussion would be centered around the fatal accident and not around her future.  As warm and accommodating as Leia Organa appeared to be, Rey wasn’t sure what type of woman she’d encounter if the principal was to discover who her parents had been.   


 

“I’m sure there are plenty of government programs for individuals in situations such as yours. I know several officials in Washington. I could make a few calls, if you’d like.”  


 

Rey’s heart twisted. The woman was trying to help her achieve her dream of going to college. Despite everything she had been through, she was going out of her way to ensure Rey had a future. Rey could hardly contain herself. She felt sick and hollow at the offer. She wasn’t worthy of such kindness, not after what her parents had taken from Principal Organa.   


 

“No!”  


 

Principal Organa raised her eyebrows.   


 

“Sorry,” Rey caught herself, “I meant to say thank you, but it’s important that I do this on my own. I don’t want to be anyone’s charity case. I’ve taken care of myself this long. It wouldn't be right if I slacked off now.”  


 

“Rey,” the principal placed a hand on her shoulder gently. “I hardly believe you would be a person to slack off. Besides,” she gave her a small smile, “everyone needs help sometimes.”  


 

Rey bit her bottom lip.  


 

“You think about it,” Leia told her. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”  


 

“Thank you.”  


 

“Have a nice summer, Rey. I look forward to seeing you back here in the fall.”

  


* * *

With the school year basically over, Rey’s attention shifted back to Kylo.She had a year — one year to figure out what Kylo was bound to and free him before she’d be leaving the junkyard. Hopefully it would be to go to college, but if not, at least she’d be eighteen and legally allowed to work in any state. She’d be free to go. Leia’s words echoed in her mind.   


 

_That’s not much time at all._  


 

Rey would get away from Jakku and Plutt, but she wouldn’t go alone. She was taking her most prized possession with her — her best friend.   


 

Since her research had turned up zilch on demon bindings, Rey figured there was only one option left she hadn’t tried. She needed to go see the only person who had been in the accident. She knew where Ben Solo was — Ahch-To Rehabilitation and Hospice Center. One of Ms. Holdo’s last pieces had provided an address for well wishers.

 

It took Rey four attempts before she jimmied the lock on Plutt’s shed. Inside was a speeder, orange and tan. It was one of the few fully functioning vehicles on his property. She knew he had several bids for it. The only reason he hadn’t sold it was because he was playing the interested parties against one another to see how much he could drive the price up. His sleazy dealings worked to Rey’s advantage. She had a mode of transportation to get to the facility. 

 

As she made to mount the bike, Kylo appeared aside of her. “Where are you going?”

 

“There’s something I need to see.” 

 

“Something?” he asked, skeptically. “Or someone.”

 

“Both.” 

 

“Take it out first,” he recommended with a sigh. 

 

“What?”

 

“The speeder,” he clarified. “Take it out of the yard before you put it in gear.”

 

Rey heeded his warning. Plutt was a deep sleeper but the sound of a bike turning over was sure to wake him. Carefully, she rolled the bike until she was past the main gate. Once outside the yard, she turned to the shadow monster. 

 

“What?”

 

“Are you coming or not?”

 

His eyes enlarged slightly at her question. “You want me to come with you?”

 

“Of course," she teased, patting the back of the seat, where her own shadow was. "Consider it a test for our upcoming road trip.” 

 

Kylo didn’t require a lot of convincing. With a few graceful steps, he had closed the distance between them, joining his dark form with her shadow. Rey felt his tendrils of smoke — was it ash? — dance around her. For a moment, she wondered how he managed to do it. Was it a demon thing? Or was it specifically a Kylo thing? She didn’t have time to ask. She had other answers to find. Bringing her foot down on the kickstart, she turned the machine over. Then they were off.

 

The drive to the center wasn’t long. There was hardly any traffic on the roads so late at night. With only a sliver of the moon in the sky, Rey felt as if they were the only two out in the world. 

 

She wasn’t sure what she expected to find there. All she knew was something called to her. Ever since she had seen the picture of Han’s dice in the accident report, she felt compelled to act. At first, she figured it was because she knew her parents were responsible, but Rey now knew it was more than that. After seeing Leia Organa earlier, she considered it was possible she still felt guilty. Neither option felt right. Without the distraction of her school work, her obsession had come back tenfold. What she felt — the pull which drew her to the facility — was not recognition or guilt. 

 

_This is different. This is something else._

 

What was surprising was how Kylo hadn’t tried to talk her out of it — not that he knew where she was going. Instead he had been rather quiet about the idea. He hadn’t spoken to her about the accident since he had confided in her that he knew Han. She had never asked what his connection was to the Solo family and he had never offered the information up. She didn’t think it mattered. 

 

When they arrived, Rey killed the bike by the entrance, walking it up to the main doors so the motor wouldn’t alert the staff to her odd visiting hours. Kylo followed behind her, silently hidden within her shadow.

 

Going through the front was out of the question, so Rey took her time wandering about the grounds. There were several side doors and emergency fire exits. As she assessed each, she came around to the west wing, where a second story window had been left ajar. Smiling to herself, she started to craft a plan. 

 

“No. Absolutely not,” Kylo growled, when he noticed the opening. He withdrew from her shadow, coming to her side. 

 

“Don’t be such a scaredy cat,” she waved him off, climbing up on the first floor windowsill. “It’s not good for your image, oh demonic, one.”

 

Kylo made an unpleased noise, low in his throat, but there was no way for him to stop her. He remained on the ground — or hovering over it (Rey had never been entirely sure how he moved) — while she ascended, using the spaces in between the bricks to help her pull herself up. Her fingertips curled around the lip of the second story window. With a deep breath, she used all her upper body strength to haul herself up, until her arms were inside the building. Another heave and she was up and over, spilling head first into the darkened room. 

 

As she picked herself up, she glanced around. The room appeared to be an office, with large bookcases and certificates lining the walls. There was a sole desk in the middle with a rather ornate looking set of chairs before it, while one roller chair sat behind it. The title on the nameplate read: Luke Skywalker, M.D. 

 

Rey scanned the room, searching for anything which could point her in the right direction. It was then her demon friend decided to join her. 

 

“So you managed to get in, but how will you get down?” Kylo asked. Even without lips, she could hear the smug smirk lacing his query. 

 

“I’ll take the stairs.”

 

“What if they have cameras?”

 

“Then I’ll avoid them,” she replied, wiping off her pants and shirt, as she stood back up. 

 

“Got it all figured out, don’t you, little one?”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. She hated how he continued to call her by the nickname. It had been over ten years since she had arrived at Plutt’s. She wasn’t the fragile, broken little girl she had been when she first encountered him. She was older now. She knew more of the world and she was preparing to take off across the country to pursue her dream. When was he going to stop treating her like a child? She was practically an adult! 

 

Kylo chuckled. “Not yet, little one. Don’t rush it.”

 

“Get out of my head!” She hissed, before bringing a single finger to her lips. “Shhhh.”

 

Cautiously, Rey crept to the door. She pressed her ear against the wood, listening for any signs of movement beyond the office. There were none. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she slowly turned the doorknob and peered our into the dimly lit corridor. 

 

Unlike a hospital, this care facility was split into two divisions — one for rehabilitation and one for long-term hospice care. Night shifts were usually quite for the comfort of the patients. There weren’t dozens of nurses scattered about or a vigilant doctor running a battery of tests, like at Chandrilla Medical. Instead, empty hallways and low lights were all that greeted Rey.

 

Moving on the balls of her feet, she snuck out of the office, shutting the door behind her as she did. As soon as it closed, she heard the automatic lock click into place. The noise sounded like a gun shot going off in the absence of any other sounds and Rey froze. Her heart hammered away in her chest and she was sure a guard would coming running up the corridor any second. 

 

Only no one did.  

 

“Stealthy,” Kylo taunted, upon seeing her relax.

 

“Shut it,” she grumbled, ignoring him in favor of continuing her search. She didn't want to think about what he may or may not have seen in her head. She hated how he could do that — read her so easily when no one else was able to. Of course, she chalked it up to his powers, but there were times when she wondered if there was another reason he was so in tune with her. Shaking her head, she focused on looking for the reason she had come here. 

 

It took longer than she would have liked, but after almost an hour of checking room after room, Rey came upon 1119, Benjamin Organa Solo. For a moment, she paused, staring at the printed label in his room number slot, as if it held he answers she sought. All it served to do was make it exceedingly nervous. Swallowing the unease, she walked into the room. 

 

It was not what she had expected to encounter. Ben Solo was older than he looked. From the decade old article, she had assumed she’d find a mature adult, yet the man lying unconscious before her looked more like a lost puppy than a person in his late twenties. 

 

She wasn’t sure what to do. The siren’s call which had led her here had gone quiet. While she still felt the pull, it was less urgent now, more like an annoying itch under her skin instead of an insistent buzzing ringing in her head.

 

Tentatively, she approaching the object of her fascination. He was attached to so much equipment she briefly wondered if he was more machine than man. The thought passed as quickly as it had formed when she reached he edge of the bed. From her new angle, she could tell his body had healed.  He was no longer covered in lacerations or purple bruises. There was one noticeable scar which ran the length of his face down his collarbone and down beneath his shirt. Rey shivered at the implication of how much pain he must have been in that fateful night. 

 

Before she realized what she was doing, Rey wrapped her hands around his. He felt cool to her touch. She rubbed her hands up and down against his, trying to activate his circulation. It was ridiculous. The logical part of her knew the machines were doing a far better job than her minimal contact could offer. Nevertheless, she continued, until her movements caused the dice to fall out of her sweatshirt pocket. 

 

The golden pair clattered to the floor, startling her. She dropped Ben’s hand to kneel down and pick them up. 

 

It was then she noticed Kylo off to the side, eyeing the whole exchange with an indiscernible look. He hadn’t once spoke since they had entered the room — one of the reasons she hadn’t noticed his odd reaction sooner. She was about to tell him her real reason for coming here — a fact she had kept hidden from him for far too long, but the pained look in his fire eyes stopped her. 

 

“Kylo?”

 

“It’s-it’s...”

 

His voice sounded different, less hard and less certain. She had never heard him sound so broken before. Monsters didn’t get scared, yet that was exactly had Kylo looked. He was downright terrified. 

 

Rey dropped the dice on the bed, forgetting about her treasure to go to her friend’s side. The instant she did, he vanished. 

 

“Kylo?”

 

No response. No reappearance.

 

“Kylo,” she cried in hushed tones, both alarmed and annoyed. She walked around the empty room, scanning each of the darkened corners for a pair of red eyes. There was no sign of him. "Kylo?"

 

Still nothing. 

 

Rey continued to wait. 

 

Then she heard a croaking sound from behind her.

 

“W-w-where?” A rasping noise interrupted the rhythmic beep of the machines. 

 

Fear raced down Rey’s spine. Slowly, she pivoted around to see a pair of eyes staring at her. They weren't the blazing fiery red she had grown accustomed to seeing. These were dark chocolate. These were the eyes of Ben Solo. 

 

Rey screamed. Scrambling backwards, she fell over from her haste. When she had decided to come visit him, she hadn't anticipated him being lucid. She had thought something would click for her to explain everything her research couldn't. But this...this was not at all what she had expected. Ben Solo couldn’t be awake. He had been in a persistent coma for over a decade. It went against every scientific truth and the laws of nature. This wasn’t possible. 

 

_You have a demon for a friend,_ a voice in her head reminded her. _Who are you to decide what is and what isn’t possible?_  

 

Ben was still staring at her. He tried to speak again, but his voice was strangled, cut off by the tubes. He twitched, as though he was attempting to move his limbs with no success. 

 

She watched, half-horrified and half-amazed to see him awake. There was no way this was happening. It was impossible. Stunned beyond words, Rey approached him once more, checking for a sign of what had changed, what had brought him back. 

 

None of the machines looked any different to her. The numbers were all changing, rapidly, but the beeps remained consistent and the coloring scheme was unchanged. She tried to focus on anything but his face, well aware that he was watching her. She scanned the tubes. All of them looked clean and clear. There was no strange residue or other variables to indicate a reason for his awakening. Then h er eyes fell to the golden dice. 

 

When she had placed them down, she had inadvertently dropped them into his palm, the same palm she had been stroking earlier. 

 

Possessiveness struck and years of scavenging instinct took over. Rey snatched the dice out of his hand, bringing them to her chest, clutching a hold of her treasure tightly. Ben’s eyes widened slightly, before fluttering closed. 

 

Rey backed up and fled into the night. 

 

It wasn't until she had snuck back into the salvage yard, she noticed Kylo had returned to her side. She was far too creeped out by what she had seen earlier to be mad at him. Even if he had ditched her, like the scaredy cat he as, she was grateful he was with her now. Rey curled up in the backseat of the Falcon and fell asleep with her protector watching over her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone know why I made Ben's room number 1119? Any guesses?
> 
> Tonight is a double update night. A new chapter is posting for [Same Eyes, Different People](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708050/chapters/31488963) too!


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

For weeks Rey was haunted by the pale face of Ben Solo and his eyes which had begged her for help. She felt like a coward for leaving him there in such a state. What kind of person did that make her? Abandoning a defenseless man? Her guilt swept over her, far stronger than her nagging shame for having lied to Kylo. 

 

Some nights she dreamed she was with Ben in the Ford Falcon when it crashed. She'd see the oncoming car, hear the screech of tires, and at the last second see nothing but the blinding glare of the headlights before the impact had her spinning so violently, she would fall off the couch — effectively waking herself up. Other nights, she saw Ben wandering the salvage yard alone. Like a lost soul, he meandered about, never touching anything, never stopping anywhere, just simply strolling around, as if he was stuck in a dream. She started to believe, like Principal Organa, that Ben wasn't truly gone. 

Was that why he wanted her help? To restore balance by tipping the scales one way or another? 

It took her a couple of months to work up the nerve to go back to Ahch-To. When Rey did return, it wasn’t at night and it wasn’t to break in. She volunteered. The high school ran a community campaign for the seniors. All the students in the twelfth grade were expected to complete thirty hours of service as a requirement for graduation.  At the start of her senior year, Rey decided to sign-up for afternoon shifts at the center. Luckily, the school bused the volunteers back and forth, giving Rey time to do her homework while she was in transit so she didn’t lose too much time working at Plutt’s. 

Her first shift was intense, as she was forced to watched compliance videos and pass a routine HIPPA test. Once her on boarding paperwork was processed, she was taken on a walk-through. The campus was split into two divisions, which were divided by a land bridge, each division housed in a separate building. Rey got the hang of the layout quick enough and before the end of her first week, she was given her first assignment. 

It was another three weeks before she saw Ben again. He was added to her daily rotation when one of her peers switched their volunteer hours to reading for story time at the local library. Not everyone was cut out for monitoring comatose patients or waiting on the elderly. 

 

Rey didn’t mind the occupants of Ahch-To. The ones in the rehab division were a good bunch. They were lonely like her, so she could always strike up a conversation. The ones in the hospice area were less talkative, but she liked them too. They couldn’t holler at her like Plutt or tease her like the guys on the football team, who loved to point out the fact Rey was flat-chested. She figured Snap had started this new development. He hadn't taken her rejection well when she had told him no for the dance. 

While her duties at the center varied from session to session, she found ways to make them more pleasant. If there was no one to talk to, she fill the void by humming to herself or on occasion singing. It was the latter which got her noticed by Dr. Skywalker. 

Rey was cleaning Ben’s room, singing Nirvana when the founder of the center happened to be walking by. He poked his head in, while she had her back to the door. Unaware of an active listener, Rey continued singing, while she watered the small collection of plants decorating Ben’s windowsill. 

 

She often wondered if they had been left by Principal Organa. Though she had never seen his mother visit, there were signs of her continued presence in the room from the plants to the arrangement of family photos on his bedside table. Every few days they changed position, as if Principal Organa couldn't decide on where best to place them. As the song came to an end, she heard a soft clap and turned around with a start. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Skywalker — Doctor! Doctor Skywalker.”

“Luke is fine,” the older man grinned, his blue eyes tired but shining with some unspoken thing. She couldn't help but feel like she knew him. He looked so familiar. “You’re one of our volunteers?”

“Yes,” she replied, hastily wiping her hands on her jeans. “Rey Niima.” She extended her hand to shake his. 

“Nice to meet you, Rey.” He glanced away from her briefly to look at Ben, still in his coma. He let out a sigh. “I haven't been in this room in years. It’s always difficult for me to see him this way.”

Rey cocked an eyebrow.

“Ben was — is,” Dr. Skywalker quickly corrected himself, “my nephew.”

“You’re Principal Organa’s brother?” 

“Twin actually,” Luke grinned. “Why do you think Ahch-To is at the top of available facilities for the volunteering requirement?”

 

“It’s listed in alphabetical order.” 

 

“Ah, I see,” he commented, more to himself than her. “I thought my sister was funneling the best and brightest to us.” 

Dr. Skywalker’s connection to the principal explained why he seemed so familiar to Rey. Though Rey hadn’t known about the family connection, she could see the resemblance Luke shared with Leia. They both had a kindness to their faces, a compassion which spanned beyond the years of pain they had both suffered. 

“I’m sorry,” she stated. Dr. Skywalker’s eyebrows rose. “For the singing,” she clarified. 

In truth, she was sorry for his loss, for breaking into his facility, and for waking Ben, only to have him go back to his current state — not that she’d say any of that to him. 

“It's not as if you can hurt anything,” Luke chuckled. “Not in here, anyways.” He looked around the room once more, his eyes carefully avoiding his nephew, before he turned to leave. "Thank you for your service, Ms. Niima."

He continued on his rounds then. The detached way he regarded his own family bothered Rey. She understood it was difficult to deal with a loved one in such a state, but all hope wasn't lost. She had seen Ben lucid once before. She was certain he'd wake and come back to his family. He wasn't lost. 

She walked over to his bedside, checking over her shoulder to make sure Dr. Skywalker was gone, before she slid her hand around Ben's. "I saw you come back. You can do it again," she told his motionless form. 

Then she made a vow. "I'll help you."

* * *

 

Rey didn't take her promise lightly. Once she had finished her mandatory thirty hours, she continued going to the center. Plutt, who had never shown an interest in her schooling, didn't notice a different her in work ethic, so he was kept blissfully unaware of what she did on her afternoons. Rey completed all her mandatory classes in the morning, dedicated each afternoon to Ahch-To. Each day she found new ways to brighten up the rooms, even if it her changes didn’t magically awaken any of the patients...or more specifically one patient. 

She had tried rubbing Ben’s hand again, believing the act to be the cause of his awakening. It didn’t produce the same results. She also tried burning incense, Ouja boards, and other techniques she had researched late at night on Plutt's dinosaur of a computer. Nothing worked. So when her hours were completed, she signed on for more. She couldn’t leave him there, not with the knowledge that somehow she could save him. 

Kylo, however, seemed to think it was a lost cause. He had grown more irritable with each additional day she worked at Ahch-To. 

“Why do you keep going back there?” Kylo groused one night. 

She shrugged. “I already have enough credits to graduate. Why not?”

After the night they had broken in, they hadn't spoken of what had happened. Rey felt strange bringing the subject up. Similar to how she had known Kylo wouldn't like her going to the Spring Renewal dance, she could sense his apprehension about Ahch-To and Ben Solo. As such, she avoid both as much as possible. 

"You could be here. They let seniors out early if they have jobs." 

They were in the Ford Falcon. Rey was laying on her stomach, legs bent at the knees with her feet swaying back and forth while she completed a homework assignment. Kylo remained seated — if he could sit — in the front, glaring at nothing in particular. He was in a foul mood. 

Rey scoffed. "This isn't a job. It's slave labor." 

"Still," he pressed, disregarding her comment. "You could be here working on your project. You haven’t worked on this piece of junk in over a week.”

“I know,” she sighed, annoyed he had brought it up. 

As agitated a she was with him — he was right. She hadn't worked on their mode of transportation nearly as much as she should have It wasn't entirely due to her efforts with Ben Solo. Rey had gotten as far on the Falcon as she could. The vehicle still needed a new transmission. It was the last element and the most difficult to obtain. Any transmission parts went straight to Plutt. There were no extras available for her and a new one cost money — real money — which Rey didn’t have. Kylo knew this, yet he insisted on pestering her about it. 

“You’re going to be stuck here...just like me.”

“You aren’t stuck here,” she responded, anger in her tone. “You can go whenever you want.”

His eyes snapped to hers. “That isn’t true and you know it.”

She sat up, glaring at him. “Oh, really? Then how comes you were able to ride with me to Ahch-To?”

The demon’s red eyes flared. “Do you really not know?”

“Know what?” 

He fumed, slipping through the open window before pausing out in the yard. She could feel emotions raging within in. It was an odd sensation, but somehow she had always known how he felt. She had always been able to anticipate his moods. Usually, she was careful to avoid anything which strained their relationship, yet there was the inevitable quarrel when he disagreed with how she handled things. He remained hovering in the yard, until Rey closed her book and exited the Falcon. 

"Know what, Kylo?" she repeated. 

In a soft voice, barely audible, he answered her. “I’m bound to you, little one. I go where you go.”

Rey felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She had been searching for the object of his binding and all along it had been her — her — a nobody from Jakku. What made her so special that he would be bound to her? 

Then another thought occurred to her. Was that the only reason he was with her? Was it the only reason he had stayed — because he had no choice? Her heart ached at the idea that her only friend was only her friend because of proximity and a forced proximity at that. 

“No,” Rey shook her head in disbelief. She didn't want to believe it. “No, you’re bound to the Falcon.” Even as she spoke the words, she knew it wasn't true. 

“I was,” he agreed, “for a time — a time before you.”

“What does that mean?”

His soft black molecules — where a hand would be on a human — traced her wrist, before sliding down towards her jean pocket where she hid the dice to keep them safe. She often kept the dice on her person, but in the chance she may lose them, she hid them in the Falcon until she returned to Plutt's Salvage and Tow. Kylo had never remarked upon it before. She hadn’t thought he had noticed. 

“There is power in this world — ancient and all but forgotten. Your kind, the humans have chosen to bury its existence, yet it goes on.” She listened attentively, waiting for him to explain how the power affected him. “The dice have a power over me. It is why I am able to appear where you are. As long as you have them, I’ll always be with you.”

Rey’s brain short-circuited for a brief moment. 

Suddenly, with perfect clarity, she recalled the first night she had gone to see Ben. Kylo had been with her. For all the attempts she had made to bring back the sleeping prince, she had never recreated the events of that evening. If the dice had power, surely Kylo, her shadow demon had more. She recalled how he had caused the entire trailer to shake on the night of their first fight. If he could do that, perhaps he was the key to shifting the scale in favor of Ben Solo's return? There was only one way to know for sure. 

“Come on!”  She shot off like a firework, heading for the shed. Kylo followed, though given his admission she wasn’t sure if he had a choice in the matter. 

It was still light out. She was meant to be working in the yard, so it wasn't a surprise when Plutt caught her with his property. Ignoring the overweight man's cries of protest, she pulled out the speeder, hoping on and turning it over before he had a chance to stop her. If he or Teedo noticed the heavy shadow at her back, neither of them mentioned it. They were far too preoccupied with screaming at her for taking merchandise off the lot. 

Rey paid special attention to the road as she weaved the bike through the traffic. Unlike the night she had broken in, the drive to Ahch-To was prolonged by the number of cars on the road. She wanted to be there as soon as possible, but she was acutely aware of how an accident had caused her to end up at Plutt’s and caused Ben to end up in hospice. So she tempered her need to speed.  


 

When they arrived, Kylo remained one with her shadow, which made sure none of the staff had a heart attack. Rey waved at Emmie, the oldest nurse at the facility. She was technically retired but worked part-time at the front desk.  


 

“Rey,” the gray haired woman greeted her with a warm smile. “Glutton for punishment?”  


 

“Nah, I just forgot something in my locker. Do you mind if I run up and grab it?”  


 

“Go ahead, sweetie.” Emmie waves her in, handing her a consultant badge for access.   


 

“Thanks, Emmie,” Rey accepted the badge, bringing the land yard around her neck. “You’re a saint.”  


 

“Don’t I know it?” The old woman commented with a laugh.   


 

Rey headed to the nearest staircase, climbing to the second floor. She needed to take the land bridge to cross-over into the second division where Ben Solo’s room was.    


 

Kylo remained hidden within her shadow until she was safely inside Ben’s room. Once they were in, he hovered off to the side in one of the corners. Meanwhile, Rey shut the door. There was more activity in the middle of the day than there had been the initial night she had visited Ben. She didn’t need anyone walking in on her as she tried to wake him up.  


 

Pulling the dice out of her pocket, she approached the pale figure on the bed. The nurses had taught her about the respirator he was hooked up to, as well as the other machines monitoring his vitals. She contemplated turning them off, but was afraid if she failed to wake him, she’d kill him. So she left them on.  


 

The collection of beeps offered a strange sort of music to her endeavor. Almost like the theme to Jeopardy, they reminded her she had only a small window of opportunity to go through with her plan. Rey took a deep breath and reached for Ben’s hand.

 

“Stop!”  


 

Rey froze, shocked that the one who hollered at her wasn’t a member of the Ahch-To staff, but Kylo himself.   


 

“What?” She hissed, glaring at him over her shoulder.   


 

“What do you mean to do?”  


 

“I am going to wake him up,” she admitted. She had thought that much was obvious but then she recalled how Kylo hadn’t been around to witness be miracle last time. She turned her attention back to Ben. “He deserves to wake up.”  


 

“No, he doesn’t.”  


 

Rey whipped her head around. “And how would you know?”  


 

“Because,” he shifted closer to her, “I am Ben Solo.”

Rey turned around fully to stare at him. The demon before her, a creature of darkness and wrath, had been her sole companion the past twelve years. She had never questioned his life prior to her. There had never been a reason to. He had been there for her, like the answer to some unsaid prayer, protecting her in his own way. She had assumed he would always be with her, whether she stayed at Plutt’s or not, because she had assumed she was the same thing to him — a companion and protector. 

She had been wrong.

“What do you mean?”

Kylo’s red eyes disappeared, a sign he had blinked. When they resurfaced again, the red was less angry, having dulled like the dying embers of a fire. 

“Ben was at the wheel the night of the accident, only he wasn’t in control. I was.”

Rey felt as if all the oxygen in the room was being sucked out. All she was aware of was Ben’s motionless body behind her and Kylo’s shadowy form in front of her. Everything else in the room faded into the background. She tried to wrap her head around what her friend was telling her, but nothing in any of her research could help her now. She was spiraling down a hole, much like Alice, entering a world she knew very little about. 

 

“What are you saying, Kylo?”

He let out a painful sound, as if he was at war with himself. “I was always a part of Ben,” he stated, evenly. “He had darkness hanging over him since he was conceived. It has haunted his family’s bloodline for decades, but the night of the accident something happened.”

“What?” Rey repeated. She felt as though she couldn’t say anything else. None of what Kylo was saying was making any sense. He was a demon. He had told her when he had introduced himself years ago. Demons weren’t human. They were...well...demons. Right?

“The night Han and Ben went out for a drive in the Falcon, they were fighting. Ben had been an outsider his entire life. When he was a child, he was picked on for his physical features. His ears and nose were too big for his face, plus he struggled with social interactions. Since his father was traveling often and his mother was busy building her career, he had limited time with them. He didn’t know how to behave and it got worse as he got older.” 

 

“He began struggling in school. Like you, he had been taking all advanced placement courses. Ben was brilliant, but the other students didn’t understand. They thought his intelligence was something to be mocked or believe he wasn’t actually as smart as he claimed, but showed favoritism by the teachers because of his family. He became the focus of numerous pranks. His mother was the principal and expected him to handle the situation diplomatically — be the perfect son. So he tried.”

 

“Ben tried to be everything his mother wanted, everything his father wanted, everything his teachers wanted, and everything his peers wanted. There were so many versions of himself that he created to please those around him that he lost himself along the way. I became his mask, the version of himself people viewed on the surface so they wouldn’t see him falling apart underneath. Eventually he got to the point where he snapped. The effort tore him apart. And when it did, I manifested.”

Rey shook her head. What Kylo was telling her hit close to home on so many levels. She wished Ben and her had met sooner in life — when they were both lucid and well. Perhaps they could have saved each other before it was too late. Still, she was confused about where Kylo came into the picture.

 

“You’re a personality?” She asked, unclear. “Are you saying Ben...you...both of you are schizophrenic?”

“No,” he chuckled, lowly, “no, little one.” He tried to reach for her, but halted in his efforts, when she shied away. They both knew by now he couldn’t physically touch her. As much as Rey wanted the comfort of his phantom touch, she was too unnerved by their conversation to take pleasure in it at the moment. 

 

“I’m a part of Ben and actually Ben at the same time.” Rey made a face. His explanation wasn’t helping her. He chuckled again. “It’s difficult for mortals to comprehend. You all see in such absolutes. The world isn’t black and white. There are shades of gray.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When it became too much for him, Ben allowed me to take over — allowed his rage and agony to become so great that I became more than a side of him, more than a part of him. The night his father died, he was at the wheel, but I was the one driving. I killed him.”

 

Rey glanced over her shoulder at the sleeping boy in the medical bed, then back to her demon. “But you didn’t,” she insisted, remembering the details of the article she had read. “My parents did.”

 

“What?” 

 

She ran her tongue over her lips, before clearing her throat. Suddenly, her mouth felt dry and her eyes were pricking with the threat of tears. “I found an article about the accident in school,” she told Kylo. “I was looking up news from the time I entered foster care. I wanted to prove you wrong.” Kylo shifted, drawing closer to her as her voice began to break. “I-I saw their car listed in the article. They were nobodies,” she started to cry. “They went out for a drive and left me all alone at home. They wound up dying that night, but not before they killed your father too.” 

 

Kylo was silent for several moments. She could tell he was processing her admission. Rey waited nervously for him to lash out at her and cause the entire building to quake from his rage. 

 

“How long have you known this?” He asked, calmly. 

 

“Since I asked you if you knew the owner of the Falcon.” 

 

“Rey-.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she hastily apologized. “I didn’t want you interfering with my plans.” 

 

“Your plans?”

 

“To free you.” 

 

“Then you know how to undo a binding?”

“No,” Rey unfolded her hand, displaying the dice she had removed from her pocket. “I thought when I got here I’d know. I’ve been feeling a pull — something calling me here. I thought I’d know what to do when the time came.” 

“This isn’t your burden to bare, Rey. I made my choice a long time ago. I-.”

 

They both froze, upon hearing the doorknob turn. Rey dove for the closet, while Kylo slithered into the space beneath Ben’s bed. Rey had barely hidden away when Dr. Skywalker strolled into the room. 

 

The older man crossed the room with no hesitation. He was carrying a small black box with him. Rey watched as he pulled a chair over to Ben's bedside and took a seat.

 

"I'm sorry I failed you, Ben." Dr. Skywalker told his nephew's body. He bent his head down. 

 

Rey wondered if he was praying. She glanced under the bed at where Kylo was hiding. She could only tell where he was by the color of his eyes. He was watching Dr. Skywalker, his red orbs narrowed into fiery slits. At first she wasn't sure why he looked like a panther ready to pounce, then she noticed, Dr. Skywalker had something in his lap. It was a syringe. 

 

_ What is that? _

 

Stunned, Rey watched as the founder of Ahch-To prepared the needle for injection. Several scenarios ran through her mind then. One — she could tackle him and report him to Emmie. Two — she could let Kylo scare the man straight. Or three — she could smash the damn syringe and demand he explain himself. Rey went for the latter. 

 

"What are you doing?" She cried, stepping out from the closet. She raced over to Ben's side, slapping the needle out of Dr. Skywalker's hands. It skidded across the tile floor and under the bedside table. 

 

"Rey?"

 

Eyes blown, she glanced behind her at Ben, then back at Dr. Skywalker. His nephew's vitals hadn't altered once during the whole exchange. Still, she worried what affect his uncle's actions would have on him when he woke up  — if he woke up. 

 

"Did you...did you try to murder him?" 

"I was showing him mercy," Dr. Skywalker replied, though his voice shook. He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Rey. 

 

"He's not gone." 

 

"Rey, it's been nearly twelve years. The chances of him waking up now are-."

 

"But there is still a chance," she cut him off, keeping herself between him and Ben. 

 

"Yes," he nodded. 

 

"Then give him that chance." 

 

"Rey-."

 

"If you leave now," she told him, mustering her best impression of Principal Organa, "I will not report you to the administration." Dr. Skywalker stared at her as if she had grown extra appendages. "You have ten seconds or I'm call Emmie down at the front desk." 

 

Dr. Skywalker took one last long look at his nephew, before pushing his chair back and walking out of the room. He didn't say another word to Rey as he exited. 

 

"I figure we have five, maybe six minutes tops before he has security pull me out of here," Rey told Kylo, once the room door shut. "What do we do?" 

 

"What do you mean what do we do?" 

 

"To unbind you?"

 

"If I knew that, I wouldn't have been living in a junkyard when you found me." 

“How were you bound in the first place?” She asked, feeling rushed and jittery, as she stared down at the golden pair in her hands. “I mean why these dice?”

Kylo made a noncommittal noise. “Your guess is as good as mine, little one.”

“Stop calling me that!” Rey hissed, snapping her fingers closed around the dice. She couldn’t believe he was being so lax about the entire situation. If they didn't figure this out soon, it was likely that she was going to jail and Ben would be getting another visit from the Angel of Death, which probably meant Kylo would disappear permanently. She wasn't sure why Kylo hadn't attempted to remedy the situation before. It was as if he didn't even care. “You don’t get to call me that after what you’ve done.”

“And what have I done?”

“You left him,” she pointed to Ben, “here, alone. You could have woken up. You could have gone back home to your family. You had a family who loved you and you threw it all away.” 

 

“Did you not see what just happened?” He roared. “That man tried to kill me!”

 

“It was an act of mercy, Kylo. He thinks he failed you.” 

 

“He did.”

 

Rey bit her bottom lip, rolling the dice in between her fingers. “We don’t have time for this. Use your powers and fix this!”

 

“It’s not that simple.”

 

“How complicated could it be? You have powers, Kylo. Why not use them?” 

 

“I can’t leave.”

 

“Because you are bound to the dice and I have them?” she grumbled.

 

“No.”

 

“Don’t lie to me!” 

His eyes flared at her indignation. “I have never lied to you, Rey. Yes, I am bound to the dice, but it doesn’t mattered anyway. I can’t leave because…”

 

“Because what?” she snapped, the last of her patience leaving her. 

 

“Because of you.”

She shook her head, overwhelmed by emotions — anger at Kylo for abandoning Ben, sadness for Han Solo who had been murdered by her parents, regret for not coming to grips with the truth sooner and at least a dozen more. They swirled endlessly about in her mind, until she was barely able to keep herself together. The emotion which stood out amongst the rest was love. 

 

Kyo hadn’t said it out loud, but Rey could tell from the way he had spoken to her what the weight of his words meant. He loved her. Of all the revelations she had made since she started to unravel the mystery of Kylo Ren, it was this one she was most unprepared for. She knew her feelings for him had grown. She had told herself time and time again it was pointless. How could they ever have a life together when they couldn’t touch one another? Nevertheless, her feelings had remained unchanged. 

“I wanted to free you,” she finally admitted. “I thought if I brought you here with the dice I could wake him up and you’d be set free. I figured he could return him to his mom and have a chance at a normal life. Then we could go to California or wherever.” Rey wiped her damp cheeks, sniffling, as she realized how wrong everything had suddenly gone. “That isn’t what’s going to happen now, is it?”

Kylo’s focus shifted from her to his human form. “I don’t know if Ben — if I — can wake up, but I suspect, if I do, I will cease to exist in this form.”

Rey felt her eyes well up with tears again. As horrible as the alternative was — leaving Ben Solo to rot away in the hospice care — she couldn’t bare the thought of never seeing Kylo again. He had been her rock the past several years. He had been the one constant in her life, the only person to not abandon her. She stifled a sob, biting down on her fist, as she continued to clutch the dice tightly. 

“Little one, I promised to never leave you, but I need to break that promise now.” he raised a wispy hand towards her face, “I will find a way back to you — in this life or the next.”

She crumbled to the floor, hugging her arms around herself and dropping the dice, as she cried openly before him. “Shhhhhh, Rey,” he moved to join her upon the floor. “Rey, listen to me. You are dear to me, but you are right. It is time to return home.”

“No,” she hastily replied. “No, I was wrong.”

 

“No, you weren’t, little one.” He brushed his shadowy tendrils over her face and through her hair. “My uncle will be back. I couldn’t save my father, but now, thanks to you, I can save myself. Like you said, it’s a chance at a normal life.” 

 

“Please don’t go this way.” She begged. 

 

Rey felt a weight settle on her chest, the pressure sitting on her like an elephant. She found it hard to breathe. Between sobs, she gasped for breath.

“You’re holding on. Let go.” Rey continued to sob. “Let me go, Rey.”

He waited patiently, as her tears fell, allowing her to weep for him — for her — for all the years they had been each other’s everything. Minutes could have passed or hours, but eventually Rey’s tears dried. Standing on shaky legs, she moved to Ben’s bedside, taking the dice with her.   


Carefully, she held his palm open. She laid the golden dice in his waiting hand, closing his fingers over them. With a deep breath, she turned to Kylo, watching as he vanished before her eyes, as he had done the first night she had come to visit Ben. 

“I love you,” she whispered, one final tear sliding down her cheek.

“I know.”

With that, he was gone and she was left standing alone in the room, her hand still on Ben’s. 

Rey bit back her bottom lip to keep from breaking down again. Her chest felt as though it was being ripped wide open. She glanced down, expecting to see blood oozing from her core, but there was nothing, just as there was nothing in the room with her. Her best friend was gone. 

“M-mmm.”

The body beneath her grasp began to move and the machines he had been hooked up to started beeping angrily. Rey gasped, backing away from the twitching limbs. Just as before, Ben’s eyes found hers. He stared at her, as if she was the only thing in the world that mattered. For a moment she thought Kylo was breaking through, keeping his promise to come back to her. 

She didn’t care if he looked like Ben— technically he was Ben. All Rey cared about was her friend. She wanted him back. They still had to fix up the Falcon and get out of this town. They had plans to travel out to Palo Alto. Kylo had told her they would drive off together in the old silver beast. 

The beeping must have triggered a response from the staff because suddenly the door to Ben’s room burst open as a nurse came rushing in. She noticed Rey, but was too busy attending to her patient to ask the girl who she was or how she had gotten in. Diligently, the woman removed all the tubes from Ben, allowing him to breathe on his own. If she was perturbed by what she saw, she didn’t show it on her face. Instead, she had the calmest of bedside manners. The nurse helped Ben sit up in the bed. Throughout the entire process, his gaze never left Rey’s face. 

Rey wasn’t sure what he saw there — hope, despair, longing, relief — it was a mixed bag of emotions. 

Once complete with her work, the nurse took a step back, allowing Ben to regard Rey fully. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He tried to swallow, wincing at the pain from having the tube. The nurse consoled him, muttering something about taking his time. With a nod to her, he tried again. 

“W-who ar-re y-you?”

It took him almost a full minute to articulate the question. The words were obviously painful for him to articulate, though not as painful as they were for Rey to hear. Any hope she had had that Kylo was in there vanished as rapidly as her demon had. 

The nurse stared at Rey, no doubt considering whether or not she should call the police. Rey decided she would save the woman the trouble and bolted from the room. She nearly collided with the wall in her rush to get out.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “I’m so so sorry.”

She took off running. She couldn’t get far enough away from Ben Solo’s penetrating orbs. He had no idea who she was. He didn’t remember her — didn’t know her. She had brought him back to life. In return he had taken her best friend from her. And she hated him for it. There was no worse sin. 

With each step, her heart cracked until it was completely broken. 

 

* * *

 

Rey stopped volunteering at Ahch-To. When Luke stopped by the high school to ask her why, she blamed it on her needing to focus on the end of the year, even though her grades were fine. They didn’t discuss what had happened in room 1119. The events of that day remained a mystery to everyone in town, though Ben Solo’s miraculous recovery had made the front page of the town paper. 

 

Rey was set to graduate with high honors. Her teachers, Mr. Andor included, were concerned over her lack of enthusiasm when she was named the salutatorian. The truth was she was too heartbroken to care. All her achievements were meaningless without her best friend. As hard as she had worked to reach her goals, she was still in the same place she had been at the beginning of the year.

What was worse was the fact that she was all alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the angst-train...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big week for me. Updates for all three WIP's!!!
> 
> [Hit Me With Your Best Shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249611/chapters/30308949) and [Same Eyes, Different People](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708050/chapters/31488963) were also updated this week! Whew!

 

Life in Jakku went on as if nothing had changed, but for Rey Niima, everything about her life had changed. 

 

While she maintained her routine, there was a hollowness to her movements, as if she was no longer a part of herself. She sat through her classes and completed all her assignments on time. The red ‘A’s’ on the  top of her returned work didn’t warrant a smile. When she brought Plutt nothing worth money, he would shout and holler, but she felt nothing — not even the hunger pains — for it paled in comparison to the pain in her heart.   


 

During the last week of school, Mr. Esso, the eccentric and borderline rude Guidance Counselor, approached her. There were days Rey was positive he had Tourette’s. She was on her way to seventh period, when he stopped her and handed over a large unopened envelop.  


 

She had been in such a daze, barely going through the motions of her routine, that she almost didn't recognize the college insignia on the outside. It wasn’t until she had pulled out the full welcome package she realized it was for her first choice institute.  


 

“Congratulations, you are going to college,” Mr. Esso said in his normal monotone voice. “Please contain your surprise.” 

 

The lack of enthusiasm in his voice didn’t surprise Rey at all. In fact, she was more surprised he had delivered her acceptance letter to her personally. Typically students were called down to the office and given an appointment with the school’s guidance counselor to review their options. Usually it was because they whooped and cheered once they got into their choice school, unlike Rey who was staring mutely at her package. She wasn't trying to contain her surprise. She just couldn't feel. It hurt to feel. 

 

Mr. Esso took the packet of information from her to read through, before asking if she would join the Mechanical Engineering program or if she was choosing the Sustainable Energy track.   


 

Rey hadn’t been able to answer. She merely stared at the first line of the package. “We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Corellia College.” A few other students in the hallway began to gather around, as she registered she had read the line out loud. Some of her peers smiled and offered their congratulations, while others simply nodded before going about their day.  


 

Someone asked Rey a question — most likely Mr.Esso — but she couldn’t hear it. All she heard was an echo from another time. She heard Kylo’s voice.  


 

_Alright. Where do you want to go?_

_Anywhere but here…_

 

Suddenly, Rey wasn't standing the middle of the corridor in the high school. She was back in middle school, standing outside her first period class. Kylo had urged her to think of a back-up plan, had urged her to see beyond the one-track her mind was locked onto. For years she had been all about finding her parents. She had been blinded by her determination. Rey hadn't been able to see the truth until it was too late. And it was then she realized she was doing the same thing now. Rey was stuck here waiting for Kylo to come back to her, just like her parents, and just like her parents, he wasn't going to come back. This time though, she came to recognized it before she lost years of her life. 

 

Kylo's advice from then still resonated with her in the present. It gave her the push she needed. Rey realized she had been wasting away — both physically and mentally — due to the loss of her friend. If he had still been around to witness it, he wouldn’t have been pleased. She recognized how much she had missed over the last few weeks. Despite her sorrow, she needed to make a choice about her future. No one else could decide for her.   


 

Corellia College was within the state, which made it a more affordable option for her. Rey continued reading through her welcome letter, turning to the second page where she noticed content regarding the financial aid she'd receive if she chose to attend Corellia. She was being award a full scholarship for her academic achievements. Her eyes scanned over the stipulations around maintaining her scholarship. It was straightforward. As long as she kept her GPA at 3.5 and above, her tuition would be paid in full.   


 

Rey was about to respond, when she realized tuition was only half the battle. She still needed to come up with money for her school supplies and living expenses. It was an impossible task, seeing as how Plutt only paid her in food and lately that payment had been scarce. Like everything else in her life, Rey had managed something incredible, only to have reality push her back down — like how she had managed to survive Plutt’s only to be trapped there and like how she had saved Ben Solo only to lose Kylo. Swallowing back tears, she carefully shoved the papers back in the envelope, before tossing them in her book bag. 

 

“You should be proud of yourself,” Mr. Esso informed her, picking up on her distinct shortage of joy. “Not many people get full rides any more.”  


 

“Yeah,” she managed to get out, “it’s great.” She plastered on a fake smile so she wouldn’t be forced into a counseling session with the blonde haired man. 

 

Gritting her teeth, she decided she wouldn’t lose this time. Kylo was gone and she was still reeling from the loss. Regardless, she was going to keep her promise. She was going to get away from Plutt and leave Jakku. The wheels of her mind began to turn as she ran through options.

 

Rey knew she could get a job in town, one that actually paid her. There were plenty of openings, especially with summer coming, but if she did secure employment elsewhere, Plutt would surely kick her out. He only allowed her to go to school because it was the law. If she missed too much, he wouldn’t get his stipends from the government for being her guardian. If he did throw her out, Rey would have no place to live. With school ending she wouldn’t have a steady source of food to rely on either. She needed to be cautious in what she chose.  


 

There was one possibility. The bakery on 2nd Street started up around 3am. If she could get there, work a shift, and get back to the junkyard before Plutt woke up, he’d never be the wiser and she’d be able to squirrel away some cash. The other plus side was, she’d be in the back doing her work. No one else from town would see her, since the bakery didn’t officially open until 8am. The risks were minimal. 

 

It was worth a shot. 

 

She snuck out of last period, to walk to the bakery, called Snip’s. It was named after the owner, Ahsoka Tano, who had been given the nickname when she served as a marine. Ms. Tano was well-known in the community for her service and her culinary skills. The school had a contract with her and all their rolls, pastries, and bread was supplied directly from her establishment. She was a huge supporter of the local area. 

 

So when Rey walked in with her raggedy backpack and scuffed up sneakers, she wasn’t sure how Ms. Tano would react. Ditching classes wasn’t exactly model citizen behavior, but Rey didn’t have a choice if she wanted to catch the bus to take her across town to the salvage yard. 

 

Luckily, Ms. Tano had been quite a rule-breaker herself — in her younger years. Over tea, the two conversed and she was impressed with Rey’s knowledge of all things mechanical. It helped that while they were talking the pastry oven’s element went out. Rey made quick work of replacing it and Ms. Tano hired her on the spot. 

 

As Rey rode the bus back to Plutt’s Salvage and Tow that afternoon, she smiled. It was the first genuine smile she had worn in weeks. 

 

* * *

 

Graduation arrived. Rey made a speech, as Salutatorian, before crossing the stage amongst her peers and accepting her diploma. While the other graduates had family and friends to cheer for them, she had no one. The tickets she had been provided for her attendees were left open — six white folding chairs empty in a sea of otherwise clapping individuals. She tried not to focus on the that area of the crowd when she did her speech. 

 

After the ceremony completed, Rey took her time disrobing, while all her peers rushed to their families. They were all more than ready to go out and celebrate. All Rey had waiting at home for her was one overweight and agitated foster father. He was likely to scream at her the moment she walked on site. She cringed just thinking about it, but there was no delaying the inevitable. 

 

Turning around, she was met with a collection of faces. Before her stood a few members of the staff, including the Andors, Mr. Malbus, the security guard, Mr. Rook, the gym teacher, Mr. Imwe, the librarian, and Mr. Esso. 

 

“Congratulations!” They all cheered together, coming forward one at a time to hug her and tell her how proud they were of her for making Salutatorian. 

 

When Mr. Esso told her he was proud of her, his exact wording was, “I’m glad you aren’t an inefficient idiot like the rest of your generation.” It wasn’t a real compliment, but in Mr. Esso’s case, Rey let it slide. 

 

“Sorry we couldn’t cheer for you when you walked across the stage,” Mrs. Erso-Andor apologized. “We aren’t allowed to show favoritism among the students.”

 

“But,” Mr. Rook grinned, “as of thirty seconds ago, you stopped being a student, so we can favorite you all we want now!” He wrapped her up in a hug. 

 

Rey was floored. She had always been kind to the staff and faculty at her schools, even the ones in middle school who hadn’t raised a finger to help with the bullying situation. While she had always enjoyed classes with the Andors and Mr. Rook, she hadn’t known they were so invested in her future. Mr. Malbus, Mr. Imwe, and Mr. Esso were all a surprise too, but as they all stood around her in a huddle, she recognized this squad of faculty members had become her own little family. 

 

“We got you something, little sister,” Mr. Malbus announced, as Mr. Imwe pulled a card out of his jacket. 

 

The bright yellow envelope read “To Our Rey of Sunshine” and she almost cried as she read it. When she opened it, she did start crying. All five of them had signed it with a personalized message and their phone numbers, so she could stay in touch with them. Yet, the ultimate show of their support was what was tucked inside the card. It was an invoice from Corellia, stating her room and board had been paid through her freshmen year. 

 

“Ahsoka told me you have been working for her,” Mrs. Erso-Andor said, placing a gentle hand on Rey’s shoulder. “We didn’t want you laboring away all summer. You deserve a break, so we started a collection with the faculty and staff. Everyone pitched in. Off the record, of course," she smiled. She gave Rey's shoulder a squeeze. "It's not everything, but we thought it would help ease your financial burden.”

 

“This is too much,” Rey managed to get out between silent sobs. Tears streamed down her face, dampening the top of her shirt. 

 

“Think of it as a thank you for all the times you fixed the projector,” Mr. Rook teased her, nudging her arm with his elbow. 

 

“Or for those times you managed to reboot one of our dying computers,” Mr. Imwe reminded her of how she had saved the ancient machines in the library. “The school should have been paying you for all the times you bailed them out of needing to purchase new equipment.” 

 

“We wouldn’t have done this if we didn’t want to, Rey,” Mr. Andor put an arm around her, standing opposite of his wife. He had always been her favorite. They shared a love of science and math. Without his push to apply to Corellia, she never would have been accepted. “You have a bright future ahead of you. Go get it. Make us proud.”

 

“What he means is,” his wife interjected, “make us even more proud of you.”

 

Rey intended to. 

 

* * *

 

About a week after graduation, Rey had found a new routine. She woke every morning around 2:30 and jogged to Snips’ Bakery. There, she worked with Ms. Tano until around 7am, when the gray haired woman would drop her off outside the junk yard to start her second job.   


 

Over the course of her time working at Snip's, Rey had learned a bit about her new employer. Ms. Tano had been honorably discharged after a top secret mission. She never spoke in detail about what she had done during her time of service, but from the way she spoke about it when someone asked, Rey sensed the woman had her own ghosts following her around. Perhaps there was something about this town which kept souls bound to people living in it. Perhaps it was the power Kylo had once spoke of.  


 

Either way, Ms. Tano’s employment meant cash for books and supplies for Rey's upcoming fall semester at Corellia. She was paid cash under the table. Each morning when Ms. Tano drove her back, she made sure to hide her roll of bills in the Falcon, away from Plutt. Her childhood backpack was still the best hiding spot in the yard.   


 

It was one such morning, while she was crawling around the silver Ford when Plutt summoned her with a bellow.  


 

“Rey!”  


 

She shook her head to herself. She couldn't believe he was up already. It was too early to deal with him.   


 

“Rey!” He shouted again, this time closer.   


 

Cursing, she quickly hid her funds and put as much distance between herself and her hiding spot. As she rounded a pile of mangled metal debris, she brushed her hands against her torn jeans, pretending to have just come from scavenging.   


 

“What?” She huffed, as Plutt waddled over to her.  


 

“I need you to hook up the tow to that old Falcon,” he grunted. “We have a buyer.”  


 

“A buyer?”  


 

Rey felt her heart clench. After years of hiding, studying, and sleeping in the Ford Falcon it was going to be towed off the lot. It was all she had left to remember Kylo by. She had been alright with the prospect of leaving it to go off to school, convinced it would still be rotting away in the junkyard when she graduated, but just like everything — and everyone else — it was going to leave her before she could leave it.   


 

Irony sucked.  


 

“Yeah, the kid wants it towed to his house.”  


 

“The kid?”  


 

Rey followed Plutt towards his office, stopping in her tracks the instant she saw the buyer.   


 

It was Ben Solo.  


 

Irony indeed! Apparently the universe had a cruel sense of humor.   


 

He hadn’t noticed her yet, too busy kicking dirt and staring at his shoes. She took advantage of his distracted state to give him a once over. He was taller than she had thought, but in the short weeks following his discharge from Ahch-To he had put on muscle. He was dressed in a plain t-shirt and running shorts. His skin was still pale, so much so that the constellation of moles along his bare skin was easy to follow from where she stood a couple yards away.   


 

As she trailed her gaze along them, his attention snapped towards her, as if sensing her stare. He turned towards her, opening his mouth to speak, but was instantly cut off by Plutt.  


 

“What are you waiting for, girl?” Plutt grumbled, grabbing her arm roughly.  


 

Rey winced at the harshness of his touch. Her arms were sore from loading bags of flour at the bakery and his pinching grip made the ache almost unbearable.   


 

“Hey!”   


 

Both Plutt and Rey jerked up to see Ben Solo stalking over to them. Plutt instinctively dropped his hold on her.  


 

“There’s no need for that.”  


 

"There is. She's trouble, this one," Plutt sneered. “She’s mine to discipline how I see fit.”  


 

His tone was calloused, but he didn’t make to grab for Rey again. She brushed past both of them, keeping her voice low as she told Ben, “It’s fine.” She managed to say it softly enough so Plutt didn’t hear her. Rey didn't need his help. He had done enough.   


 

Climbing up into the cab of the tow truck, she readied herself to say goodbye to her old hideaway. She needed to figure out a way to get inside for her belongings once she was out of Plutt's line of vision. The VW was still around. It was more open than the silver Ford, but it would do. 

 

The Falcon was going home. It was poetic in a way. Kylo had been set free, allowing Ben Solo to awaken and go home. The only piece left was the silver Ford. Still, the fact she had to say goodbye to yet another constant in her life sent a stabbing pain through her chest.   


 

Blinking back tears, she turned the key in the ignition. The tow truck came to life and she slowly maneuvered it through the piles of junk to where the vehicle in question sat. Alongside the truck, Plutt and Ben walked. They were conversing, though the rumble of the old truck’s engine was too loud for Rey to make out what they were saying. Knowing Plutt, they were probably discussing the price of the car. Knowing Ben was part of the Organa-Solo-Skywalker clan, any price Plutt named wasn’t going to be a problem. 

 

Rey silenced the engine after parking the truck. She checked her face in the mirror to make sure it wasn’t apparent she had almost cried. Once she was sure she appeared fine, she let herself out. 

 

“The girl will tow it for you,” Plutt was saying, as Rey jumped down. “Just pay up before she delivers it.” 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

“Girl,” Plutt barked at her.

 

“I heard,” she grumbled, moving past him towards the controls on the back of the truck for the lift. “I’ll deliver it.” 

 

“Then get back here to do your job,” her guardian demanded, not missing a beat. 

 

“Alright.” 

 

Plutt waddled off, presumably to have a celebratory drink in his office while Rey did all the work. It was par for the course, really. After all these years, he hadn’t changed. He still liked his alcohol a bit too much and he still liked to keep Rey under his thumb even more. 

 

“Your boss is not much of a people person, huh?” Ben asked, coming to stand next her, as she lowered the flatbed. 

 

Rey barely glanced at him, as she responded. “He’s not my boss. He’s my guardian.” 

 

“Guardian?” 

 

“Foster father. Guardian,” she muttered. "Whatever term the county decides to put on this week’s allowance.”

 

"You're in the system?" 

 

She nodded, not looking at him. 

 

“An orphan?”

 

Rey whipped around, fire in her eyes. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself and once I’m out of here, it won’t matter if I have parents or not.” 

 

“I-I didn’t mean to insinuate…I just….I didn’t m-mean—,” Ben stumbled through multiple attempts at an apology, while Rey grumbled under her breath.

 

Why had he showed up here? Why wasn’t he at his home enjoying life? His mother certainly had no interest in the car. Why did he? And why now? If it was important to him, why hadn’t he come for it after he had been released?

 

“It’s Rey, right?” He asked, trying once more to talk to her. 

 

“You know she doesn’t run, right?” Rey asked, irritably, ignoring his question.  


 

“I can take it to an auto body shop,” he responded automatically, as if he had rehearsed the answer.   


 

She scoffed. “Okay, whatever.”  


 

“You think you could do better?” He asked, staring down at her while she strapped in the Falcon’s wheels to the tow truck.   


 

“No,” she rolled her eyes. “I _know_ I could do better.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Those guys in town,” she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder, “will gouge you on the price because you don’t know a thing about this machine,” she gestured to the Falcon.   


 

“And what makes you say that?” He groused, crossing his arms over his chest.   


 

"You don't like to get your hands dirty." 

 

"And you know that how?"

 

She moved to the next tire, repeating the process until all four were locked in place. “You’re too pristine,” she observed. “Your skin is pale, which indicates you’ve rarely been outside. You don’t have a speck of dirt under your fingernails, which means you’re a neat freak or a germaphobe.” She glanced around the junkyard then back at him. “I’m going to go with the former because at your core, I think you’re a control freak.”  


 

“Am not.”  


 

Rey laughed, shaking her head to herself as she stood up. “If you say so, Mr. Solo.”  


 

His eyes widened and his arms dropped to the sides. “Y-you know my name?”  


 

“Who doesn’t?”  


 

“What do you mean?”  


 

She shrugged. “You’re this small town’s miracle — the man who woke up after a twelve year coma.”   


 

_Because of me_ , she added silently, _but you don't see_ that _in the papers._

 

“Is that why you don’t like me?”  


 

She froze, momentarily concerned he had heard her thoughts. She reminded herself he couldn't read her mind. Kylo had been able to. He was a powerful demon. Ben Solo was human. He didn't have any supernatural gifts. 

 

Rey bit her tongue to stop herself from screaming at him. _You stole my only friend from me_. He was better off not knowing. It was obvious he didn’t remember her and she had no way of proving to him what had transpired during his coma. It was better left unsaid.   


 

“Why would you think that?” She asked instead.  


 

“It’s the way you look at me,” he said. Rey paused, her hand hovering over the tow truck door. He continued. “You have a look in your eyes,” Ben explained, “like I’m some sort of monster.”  


 

_You are a monster_ , she thought to herself. _You took away the only one to ever truly love me._    


 

In that moment, she came to terms with the paradox of her internal dialogue. This was a cosmic joke. It had to be. Kylo Ren had been a monster — a real one. He was made of darkness and shadow and yet she had felt a kinship to him. He had kept her safe and cared for all these years. Next to her stood a man made of flesh and bone. Regardless of his seemingly innocent appearance, she felt nothing but contempt and loathing for him. 

 

But she couldn't let him know that. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re on about,” she dismissed him. Rey climbed up into the cab of the truck, slamming the door shut. She leaned out the window, glancing down at him. “Where do you want me to tow this?”  


 

Ben was pursing his lips together, staring off, not focused on anything in particular. He stayed like that for a few moments, contemplating something before he returned his attention to her.   


 

“I’ve changed my mind,” he announced.   


 

_Oh great_ , Rey thought bitterly. _Plutt is going to kill me when he finds out I lost a sale for him._  


 

“I don’t want to take this to an auto body shop,” Ben informed her. There was a challenge in his voice and Rey narrowed her eyes as he spoke next. “I want you to fix it.”

 

“Me?” She sputtered. “I’m not a certified mechanic!”

 

“No?” He questioned, rather pleased with himself. “Weren't you the one who said you could do it better?”

 

The taunting tone in his voice was irking her. She may not be certified like the guys in town, but she had grown up in this junk heap. She had practically lived in the Falcon. She knew more about the vehicle than anyone else on the planet — anyone else alive, at least. 

 

She turned off the truck, leaving the confines fo the cab. “I can!” Rey insisted, too stubborn to back down.  

 

“Then fix her,” Ben Solo replied. 

 

Rey chewed on the inside of her lip as she weighed her options. On one hand, if she was working on the Falcon, there would be no time to scavenge. Plutt would be getting paid more for her to work and he couldn’t deny her food if she was the one fixing up the silver Ford, because the better equipped she was to work, the quicker she could get it done and the quicker he’d get paid. On the other hand, if she did fix up the Falcon, it would be gone. She’d no longer have her sanctuary. Ben would take away the last of what tied her to Kylo. 

 

“I’ll pay double what I offered your boss — er, your guardian — for the car.” 

 

“It’s not about the money,” she snapped. 

 

His eyes softened slightly. She felt his gaze sweep over her, no doubt cataloguing her worn and tattered clothing. “If it’s not about the money, then what is it about? Because from where I’m standing you could use-.”

 

“It’s not about the money! Ok?” Rey cried, cutting him off before he could further insult her. “Let’s just agree to leave it at that, alright?”

 

“Alright, alright.” Ben held up his hands, taking a step back to give her some space. 

 

She swore under her breath. Rey knew she couldn’t blow this sale. It confirmed a steady supply of food for at least a week and would keep her from having to scavenge the dying collection of parts in the yard. She’d be better rested and could potentially work an extra hour or two with Ms. Tano. Any additional cash would surely help her, once she went to Corellia College. 

 

“I’ll do it,” she told him. 

 

“Great.” He extended his hand. She stared at it. Unlike her grease-covered one, his hand was fresh and clean, completely devoid of any scars or dirt. 

 

“Deal?” he asked, seeing her hesitation. 

 

Rey swallowed, taken back by the similarity of the situation before her and one which had occurred years prior. 

 

_I’m Rey._

 

_Kylo Ren._

 

“Deal.” 

 

She didn’t shake his hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this written and then I decided I didn't like it, so I rewrote the graduation section. I think it reads better now. Thank you everyone who has read, left kudos, dropped me a comment, and in general has supported this fic. I truly appreciate it!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There are mentions of past child abuse and violence in this chapter. If you don't want to read, but would like a summary of what transpires in this chapter, I'm happy to supply. Feel free to read out to me on tumblr [@wewantreylo](https://wewantreylo.tumblr.com/).

 

As Rey anticipated, Plutt was overjoyed by the prospect of earning double what he had originally intended to get out of the Falcon. When Ben happened to mention she had been the one to convince him to award them the business, her guardian had promised her a good meal.  


 

A good meal — it turned out — was anything she could get for twenty bucks. To anyone else, it would have seemed like a wash, but to Rey it was a feast. She pocketed the money and asked Ms. Tano if she could take her to the grocery store on their way back to the salvage yard the next morning.   


 

If Ashoka Tano had any idea about what went on at Plutt’s, Rey’s frenzy at the supermarket confirmed it. She flew around the aisles, doing quick math in her head over options to see which would get her the most out of the twenty dollars. Ms. Tano remarked repeatedly on the nutritional value of the meals Rey ended up selecting, but Rey couldn’t afford to be picky.   


 

By the time they were on their way back to the junkyard, Rey had enough instant oatmeal, ramen, and cereal to hold her over for the next week. Despite Ms. Tano’s reservations, Rey was riding an excited high.  


 

It died the second the car pulled up to the entrance of the salvage yard. There was a man standing at the entrance, waiting for the gates to open.   


 

“Is that Ben Solo?” Ms. Tano asked Rey.   


 

Rey tried not to groan outwardly at the sight of him. What was he doing here?   


 

“Um...maybe.”  


 

“Oh! I haven’t seen him since he was a kid,” Ms. Tano exclaimed, pulling right up to where Ben was. Rey wanted to duck down in her seat, but it was too late. He had already seen them approaching.  


 

Ms. Tano rolled down her window. “Ben! Hi! You probably don’t remember me—.”  


 

“Ms. Tano,” he smiled at her, as he walked over. Rey was struck by how warm and genuine the smile actually was. His eyes, normally dark brown took on a warm amber color, which was rather beautiful — not that she would ever tell him that. She wanted nothing to do with him. It was his fault Kylo was gone.   


 

“What are you up to?”  


 

“I’m checking in on my investment,” he informed Ahsoka, as he bending down to peer in her window. “Rey, here,” he gestured to her, “has agreed to fix my father’s piece of junk.”  


 

“The Falcon?” Ms. Tano laughed. “I can’t believe it still runs.”  


 

“It doesn’t,” Rey clarified, grabbing her groceries and getting out of the car.   


 

She hadn’t expected Ben Solo to be back this week. In fact, she hadn’t expected to see him at all until Plutt called to tell him the car was repaired.   


 

“Rey is a miracle-worker. She’ll be able to get your dad’s car running again,” Ms. Tano beamed, as Rey made her way around the back of the car towards the gate. “I’m sure of it.”  


 

“Me too,” Ben responded, still wearing his warm smile.  


 

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Ahsoka said. Ben backed away from her car. She waved out the window at Rey. “Bye! See you tomorrow bright and early!”  


 

“Bye, Ms. Tano,” Rey waved back, wearing a fake smile on her face until her boss’s car disappeared down the road.  


 

Turning on her heel, she pointedly ignored Ben, as she worked the combination lock to gain entry.   


 

“You have two jobs?”  


 

“Does it matter?” She grumbled. Trying to unlock the door one handed wasn’t easy. “I’ll still get the Falcon patched up for you, so don’t worry about it.”  


 

“I’m not,” Ben commented, leaning back against the gate and staring down at her attempts to unlock it. “Do you need help?”  


 

“No.”  


 

She fumbled with the combination, swearing when she accidentally overturned the tiny knob.  


 

“Are you sure?”  


 

“Yes!”

 

 “I could hold your bag for you, so you could—.”  


 

“ I’m fine,” she snapped.  


 

“Not a morning person, huh?”  


 

Rey gritted her teeth. First this guy took away her best friend, then he challenged her abilities as a mechanic, and now — oh, he was in for it! — now he had the gall to act as if he knew her.   


 

“I have been up since two, not that it’s any of your business.”  


 

Ben made a humming sound. “You couldn’t ask for a nicer boss. Ahsoka’s been a friend of my family for years. I’m sure she treats you better than—.”  


 

“Ah ha!” Rey cheered, more to herself than to him. 

 

The lock clicked open and she was able to slide the gate open. Ben moved to follow her inside, when she abruptly pivoted around and secured the lock in place once more.  


 

“We don’t open ‘til eight,” she grinned at him. “Hours are posted on the sign.”  


 

“Rey-.”  


 

But she was already walking off.  


 

_Who needs help now?_

  


* * *

 

  


Once eight o’clock rolled around, Ben Solo found her elbows deep working under the hood of the Falcon.   


 

“I brought you coffee,” he greeted her, “since you aren’t a morning person.”  


 

Rey didn’t pause in her work. She continued tinkering with the engine as if he wasn’t standing off to her left, holding out what smelled like a real cup of java. The stuff Plutt drank in the office was instant. It smelled as fake as it looked. She reminded herself Ben was only here to take away the Falcon, just as he had taken away Kylo. She continued to ignore him.  


 

“That’s ok,” he responded to her silence. “We don’t have to talk. I have other things to do anyway.”   


 

Inwardly, she sighed with relief. He was going to go and let her work in peace.   


 

Only he didn’t.  


 

He opened the rear passenger door and climbed inside the Falcon. Rey couldn’t help but peer around the hood to see him. Ben was arranging a collection of books in the backseat. As she watched him, he pulled a brand new Herschel backpack on to his lap and produced a notebook and pen. His eyes caught hers.  


 

“What are you doing?” She asked.  


 

“I told you,” he replied, “I’m protecting my investment.”  


 

“But _what_ are you doing?”  


 

Ben closed his eyes and sighed — the exact way Kylo did before he told her something which he wasn’t sure how she’d respond to. “I never graduated high school,” he admitted. “I wanted to go to an Ivy League school when I graduated but to make that happen, I actually need to graduate.”

 

Rey couldn’t fault him for wanting to go away to college. She wanted the same thing.   


 

“I won’t bother you,” he added, taking preemptive measures against her coming rebuttal.  


 

“Alright, you can stay.”  


 

She caught a glimpse of his relieved smile before she ducked back down under the hood. 

  


* * *

 

  

True to his word, Ben didn’t interrupt Rey while she worked on his father’s car. She toiled under the hood, trying to clean up the engine and identify additional parts she would need to complete the restoration. He worked through multiple assignments that went towards earning his GED.  


 

Around noon, Rey had compiled a list in her head of what she needed to continue. It was basically the same as when she had last considered using the Falcon to run away to California with a few minor adjustments due to damage from the harsh Jakku weather.   


 

Using her body weight to help, she slammed the hood down, startling Ben.  


 

“Done already?”

 

“Hardly,” Rey huffed. “She needs parts. I’ll write up a list for you. We don’t have what you she needs here.”  


 

Wiping her hands on her jeans, she started to walk off towards Plutt’s office.  


 

“Wait!” She stopped, glancing over her shoulder to see Ben and his long limbs scrambling about in the back seat as he tried to get out.   


 

“The door sticks sometimes,” she informed him.   


 

He put his shoulder into it, wincing when he made contact with the metal, but he managed to pry it open.   


 

“I have paper here,” he told her. Rey raised an eyebrow at him. “For your list, I mean.”

 

She sighed and gestured for him to hand over his notebook. He flashed her that relieved smile again, eagerly thrusting the pad of paper into her open hand. She was careful to avoid allowing their hands to touch.   


 

Rey ran her eyes over the page. He had excellent handwriting, a novelty for men. According to his notes, he was studying the quadratic equation, not the simplest tool in calculus, but he had managed to get all ten out of ten practice problems completely correct.   


 

Kylo had mentioned Ben was a genius. Seeing it on paper though was different. Rey was surprised by the meticulous nature of his work. He had done it all without needing to cross out any of his prior steps, a clear sign he knew what he was doing. It was impressive and even more so considering he had recently woken up from a long term coma.   


 

She tried not to think about her role in his coma, hastily turning to a blank page.   


 

“Pen?” She requested, not raising her eyes to meet his. Once again, she expertly avoided any contact with Ben as he dropped a pen into her waiting palm.  


 

She bulleted out a list of parts and then a added a few notes on where she thought he’d get the best price for them.   


 

“Here,” she handed both items back to him.   


 

“Thanks.”  


 

“No problem.” Rey gazed around him to the backseat of the Falcon where all of his belongings were still scattered about.   


 

He followed her line of sight. “I’ll clean it up.”   


 

“Okay.” Rey bit her bottom lip, saying a silent prayer he didn’t accidentally find her childhood backpack where her old toys and her money from Ahsoka was stored. She didn’t want to have to explain it to him or — God forbid — Plutt.   


 

“The sooner I have the parts, the sooner I can get her up and running,” she informed him. “So just let Plutt know when you have it all.”  


 

Rey gave him a wave and continued making her way to Plutt’s office.   


 

“Where are you going?” He called after her.  


 

“To work.”  


 

She heard the dirt kick up as he jogged over to walk alongside her. “You’ve already put in an eight hour day.”  


 

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” she snarked at him. “Unlike you, some of us aren’t independently wealthy. We have to work in order to afford what we want.”  


 

Ben stepped in front of her, directly in her path, to block her from proceeding. “And what do you want?”  


 

Rey gasped, despite herself. The intensity of his searching gaze was far too familiar — far too much like her monster’s gaze had been. It took her a moment to remember he had no recollection of her. It was difficult, given how dark his eyes had become as he stared down at her, their difference in height made more apparent by his proximity.   


 

“I want somewhere to belong,” she answered. Her voice came out softer than she intended it to and the honesty in her words surprised both of them. She swayed back slightly as she came to terms with what she had shared with him and he instinctively reached for her. Rey took a step back, before he could make contact with her.

 

“I won’t hurt you,” he promised, withdrawing his hand.  


 

_You already did_ , she told him. She never said the words out loud.   


 

“Look,” he ran a hand through his dark hair, “I’m starving. Can I buy you lunch?” Her eyes widened. He wanted to buy her food? “As a thank you,” he quickly explained, “for letting me study here while you work on the Falcon.”  


 

_Letting him study?_  


 

Rey crossed her arms over her chest. “Why aren’t you studying on a fluffy couch at home? I’m sure central air is better than dying of heat stroke in this place.”  


 

Ben’s face flushed and she suspected had very little to do with the rising Jakku temperature. “My mom has been hovering over me every second of every day since I got home. I just needed a place to escape for a few hours, you know, until she calms down.”  


 

She almost laughed. Almost. Ben Solo, the town miracle who stood over six feet tall was hiding out in a junkyard to avoid his petite mother? How awful could Leia be? At school she was strict, but fair, yet Rey couldn’t picture the woman being anything but doting towards her son. Ben was lucky.   


 

“You have a mother who loves you...who gives a damn about you,” she hissed, jealous of the fact he had someone to dote on him while she had no one.   


 

He stared at her, his facial expression changing instantly as her words cut through him. He knew she didn’t have even a quarter portion of what he had, but when it came to family he had a caring parent waiting at home for him while all she had was a sour, overweight slave driver.  


 

“Just because my mother is fawning all over me doesn’t mean she cares!”  


 

Rey froze. She hadn’t expected him to be angry. She had thought he’d be ashamed or at the very least uncomfortable for calling him out on his callous comment. He fixed her with a gaze that was somehow both burning and ice-cold.

 

“Neither of my parents were ever around. Sure, they were there to stand pretty and pose for the papers, but they were never actually around when I needed them. They were too busy with their careers. They didn’t want anything to do with me.”  


 

She narrowed her brows and gritted her teeth. How dare he talk about Leia that way! Principal Organa has been so kind to her. She didn’t believe her or Han had been anything but wonderful parents.   


 

“Sometimes I wished I was an orphan,” Ben admitted, “because maybe then I’d have a chance at a different home — one where people would truly care — where they could protect me.”  


 

“Protect you?”  


 

“The night my father and I went out for a drive, we were fighting. I told him about my tutor...about what he tried to do.”  


 

Rey felt her stomach churn. She didn’t want to believe his words, didn’t want her vision of Han and Leia as parents to be tarnished, but there was no denying the truth of what he told her now.  


 

“My father didn’t believe me,” he told her. “He thought I was making it up for attention.” Ben scoffed, casting his eyes down at the ground for a brief moment, before locking his gaze with her again. “As if I could lie about something like that.”  


 

Even though she hadn’t eaten yet today, Rey was positive she was going to be sick. Knowing what she knew about his uncle, Luke Skywalker, she could hardly contain her disgust over how Han had handled the news. What was wrong with their family?   


 

“We got into a fight. I lost control and we crashed. I killed him,” Ben finished.   


 

_Oh God, no. Not again,_ Rey thought.   


 

She started to tell him — really she did, but her body wouldn’t allow her. At the last second, she spun around, racing towards the trailer. She threw open the door and then the door to the bathroom, just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.  


 

When she re-emerged, Ben Solo was gone. 

  


* * *

  

Rey sat up alone that night, unable to sleep. Sometime around midnight, she crept out of Plutt’s trailer and into the Falcon. Out of habit, she checked her stash to make sure it was still safely hidden. It was, but as she reached down, her hand hit a balled up piece of notebook paper.

 

Given the haphazardly way it had been ripped out of the binding, she assumed Ben had removed it rather quickly. Rey unfolded it.  


 

214-248-2187  


 

It was a phone number. His phone?   


 

She sat in the vehicle staring at the numbers scrawled on the crinkled paper. Her mind replayed their conversation before they had let their tempers get the best of them. He had rushed out of the car to give her his notebook. Had he been planning on giving her this before she had so carelessly insulted him?   


 

In spite of what Ben’s presence meant in terms of Kylo’s ability to be with her, Rey felt tears slip free from her eyes.   


 

He was just as lost as Kylo — just as alone and unwanted — just like her.   


 

It shouldn’t have surprised her. Kylo had told her that he and Ben were one in the same. Though she struggled to understand, in the simplest terms, Kylo was a fragment of Ben, one which had gone off on its own once his soul had shattered. Saving Ben had made him whole again, therefore, Kylo was back home, as part of Ben.   


 

So why couldn’t he remember her?  


 

The tears continued to trickle down her face. Lying down, she clung to the piece of paper in one hand, as she used her other for a pillow.   


 

Somewhere between midnight and 2:30am, she succumbed to sleep.

  


* * *

 

Her biological clock and need for self-preservation woke her not long after 2:30. Groaning, Rey clambered out of the Falcon and made her way to the exit to start her jog into town.   


 

“Come on feet,” she motivated herself.  


 

Quietly, she unlocked the gate, slipping out under the cover of the early morning darkness. Plutt hadn’t noticed her routine, but someone else had. 

 

“Hey.”  


 

“Jeez!” Rey shrieked, flailing her arms and kicking of her legs in a half-assed attempt at self-defense.   


 

“Sorry! Sorry!” Ben placed his hands up, backing away from her.   


 

“What the hell are you doing here?” She hissed through clenched teeth. Any remorse for yesterday’s action was gone. This idiot was going to give her a heart attack with all his sneaking around.   


 

“I, um... I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I said a lot and you probably didn’t want to hear all of that,” he ran a hand through his hair. She observed he had done this a couple of times — all when he was nervous.   


 

What Ben had shared with her was horrifying. The fact that someone in his past, someone in a role of authority and control, had abused their relationship and twisted it into something else struck her. She wasn't sure how far Ben's tutor had gone before Ben had tried coming forward to his father, but it didn't matter. The mere idea of this person's attempts had her feeling sick all over again. Rey didn't want to run away again. He had chosen to tell her what had transpired. She didn't take it lightly. On some level he was comfortable enough with her to explain what had happened. She wanted to let him know he wasn't wrong to trust her. 

 

“It’s cool,” she shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. “I get it. Sometimes, you just need to vent to someone.”  


 

“Yeah,” he agreed with a sigh. He looked relieved. “Yeah, so anyways, sorry about dumping all of my shit on you. I know you don’t deserve it.”  


 

“It’s fine,” she told him. And she meant it. “But Ben?”  


 

“Yeah?”  


 

“That still doesn’t explain what you are doing here at 2:30 in the morning.”  


 

“Oh,” he looked down and she could have sworn she saw his cheeks darken, but it was impossible to be sure in the limited light. “I thought I could drive you to work. You know, so you didn’t have to walk in the dark by yourself.”  


 

Rey stared at him, incredulously, before noticing the outline of a sleek Nissan Maxima parked behind him.   


 

“I brought coffee,” he tempted her.   


 

“Alright,” she relented, following him over to his car.   


 

The inside was black leather and smelled brand new. Ben put the Maxima in drive and pulled away from the salvage yard. Rey tried not to grin as she buckled her seat belt but the car was beautiful, a perfect combination of elegant design and a powerful engine.   


 

“It’s dark roast, if that’s ok,” he told her, as he picked up a travel tumbler from his cup holder and passed it to her.   


 

Rey popped open the lid, taking a deep breath of the coffee.   


 

_Oh, yeah, that’s the good stuff._  


 

It was the same kind he had brought her yesterday. She didn’t waste another second before taking a large gulp. Once she had had her fill, she placed it back in the center console's cup holder. 

 

Before they had hit the first mile, Rey's head was leaning back into the head rest and she was asleep. She didn’t see the smile Ben shot her way.  

  


* * *

 

The next week followed a similar routine. Rey would wake up and meet Ben outside the yard. He always brought her the same tumbler and the same coffee. He’d drive her to Snip’s and take a nap in his car while she worked. Ms. Tano would send them off at the end of each shift with a freshly baked breakfast and bottles of water.   


 

Once they had eaten, Ben would drive them to Plutt’s Salvage and Tow. While Rey worked on the Falcon, he’d work on his school assignments. Sometimes they talked but more often than not they remained in companionable silence.   


 

Rey didn’t bring up the forgotten phone number, mainly because she didn’t have a phone to dial him on, but also because after the first day, the crumbled paper had disappeared.   


 

Half-way through her second week working on the silver Ford, Ben decided he was hungry for hoagies. He took the Maxima into town to pick up their lunch, leaving Rey to reach a good stopping point and wash up.  


 

With the new parts Ben had purchased from Watto, the Falcon was nearly ready to roll off the lot. She would run the final check — a test drive — once they had eaten lunch.   


 

Rey found herself feeling a bit melancholy about the end of her time working on the vehicle. It was a beast of a car and she had been growing fond of its new owner. She’d miss their morning drives and shared meals. Even if their time hanging out was only born of convenience for Ben, Rey had gotten used to having him around.   


 

Closing the hood of the Falcon, she wiped her hands on her jeans. They were still dirty, far too dirty to eat with, so she went to the trailer to wash off. Using a handful of soap, she scrubbed her nails, fingers, hands and arms all the way to her elbows, until there wasn’t a smidgen of grease or oil left on her skin. Then, she decided to wash her face as well. This was probably the last lunch she’d have with Ben, she might as well look decent to say goodbye.   


 

She had just finished toweling off, when Plutt cornered her. “What are you playing at, girl?”  


 

“What?”  


 

“Are you trying to cheat me?” He accused her, raising his voice.   


 

She could smell cheap liquor on his breath. Even by Plutt’s standards, it was early for a drink.   


 

“Do you want to starve?” He questioned her, leaning a bit too far forward. “If we don’t finish work, we don’t get paid.”  


 

Rey glared at him. She only had a few more weeks before freshman move-in at Corellia. Then this madness would all be over. She was glad, because she was rapidly reaching her braking point with the unfairness of her situation.   


 

“And if we don’t get paid,” Plutt growled, “you don’t eat.”  


 

_Was that a threat?_  


 

“That’s funny,” she snarled. “I’m the one doing all the work here.”   


 

“You,” he shouted, as he grabbed her arm, “aren’t doing anything but throwing yourself at that guy.”  


 

Her eyes widened. How did he know that? She had only just realized her feelings were changing.  


 

“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Plutt told her with a chuckle. It was an ugly sound and made her anxious. “What do you think a guy like that wants with a sand rat like you, huh?”  


 

Rey shook her head back and forth, yanking her arm and trying to get free. He had it all wrong. She didn’t think Ben wanted anything to do with her, beyond what she could do for his car.   


 

“He only wants you for one thing and once he has that,” Plutt leaned in towards her, “he’ll toss you away just like your parents.”  


 

She saw red. Plutt has gone too far. Before she could stop herself, her hand was flying through the air. The resounding echo of her slap was the only sound in the trailer for several seconds. It took her that long to understand what she had done. Then Plutt was baring down on her.  


 

“You worthless little brat,” he hollered, shoving her down on the couch.   


 

He pinned her down, angling his fist to strike her. Rey surged all her energy and kicked out, knocking him off balance. The instant he tumbled backwards, she took off, bursting through the door and running.   


 

“Come back here, you scavenger scum!”   


 

Rey continued running, not paying much attention to where as long as she was putting distance between herself and Plutt, which was how she missed Teedo.  


 

He grabbed her around her waist, trapping her arms at her sides.   


 

“Gotcha!” The miscreant, Plutt employed, held fast to her.   


 

“Did you steal something, little girl?” He asked, breathing the question in her ear. Teedo reeked of the same liquor Plutt did. She struggled against him, trying to jab her elbow in his ribs, but he spun her around.   


 

“You filthy bitch,” Plutt screamed at her, as he approached. “You marked up my face.”  


 

“Good,” Rey spat at his shoes.   


 

“Listen here, girl,” he barked, roughly grabbing her by the chin and forcing her to meet his eyes. “You work for me, you hear me? Your job is to bring in money, one way or the other. If you can’t do it by scavenging, I’m sure I can speak to the club owner down the road.”  


 

Rey felt her gut clench in fear. The club Plutt was speaking of was called Baby Dolls. It wasn’t as innocent as the name implied. It was a strip club and more often than not a brothel. She felt all the blood drain from her face as she considered his threat.   


 

“I won’t go there,” she hissed, “You don’t own me.”  


 

“You’re eighteen. The checks have stopped coming,” Plutt reminded her. “Consider it rent, unless you want to pay up another way.”

 

“Go to hell!”  


 

Plutt sneered and backhanded her.   


 

Rey’s neck snapped to the side from the force of his hit and her vision blurred. She felt nauseous and dizzy. There was a taste of copper in her mouth. She felt a throbbing pain in her cheek, which wouldn’t subside.   


 

Plutt smacked her again, this time sending her head twisting in the opposite direction. She spat blood into the dirt.   


 

She wondered if this was how it would end for her — getting beaten by the man who had tried to keep her down for years. Her vision darkened and she sunk to her knees. Teedo let her collapse to the ground, before he kicked her to her side.   


 

“Not so tough now, are you?” He jeered.   


 

Rey swallowed, her fingers scrapping against the dirt, trying to find purchase. Her stomach was rolling around and her head was singing. She tried to lift her head up when she heard a new sound. It was almost like a roar.   


 

“Get your fucking hands off her!”  


 

Suddenly, Ben was there. He barreled into Teedo, tackling him to the ground, before he was swinging punches at him. Rey watched in awe as he incapacitated the man who had held her. Without a second of hesitation, he turned on Plutt.  


 

Her guardian had only ever looked terrified once before. Rey remembered that night well and she was sure she’d remember this day just as clearly.   


 

Ben lunged at the larger man, bringing him down. Standing over the quaking mess of a man, Ben’s eyes were hard. “Don’t you touch her. Don’t you ever fucking touch her again! Do you hear me?”  


 

Plutt mutely nodded. Ben’s nostrils flared. “Say it. Go on, say it.”  


 

“I-I won-won’t t-touch her again.”  


 

“That’s right,” Ben responded, his eyes turning black. “You won’t.”  


 

He crouched over Plutt, letting loose a series of punches. Rey stared, both afraid and amazed at the sight in front of her. It wasn’t until the blood had made Plutt’s face unrecognizable that she realized Ben had gone too far.  


 

She forced herself up to her feet, screaming at him. “Ben!”   


 

He held his punch, mere inches from Plutt’s face. Slowly, he turned his head to face her. Ben blinked and it was as if he was coming out of a daze.   


 

“Rey?”  


 

“It’s over,” she told him. “Leave him. It’s over.”  


 

Ben glanced down at his bloodied hands, then at the man underneath him, then back to her. “It’s over,” he repeated.   


 

She nodded.   


 

He stood up, kicking Plutt down before he was at her side. “Jesus,” he breathed, as he took her in. “We need to get you to a hospital.” He raised his hand to inspect where her cheek had split from Plutt’s attack.  


 

“It’s not that bad,” she waved him off, backing away.  


 

“Rey-.”  


 

“It’s not,” she insisted. She couldn’t afford a hospital. She had no insurance and all the money she had stashed in the Falcon was needed for college.   


 

“Let me at least take you home.” Rey glanced at the trailer behind her, then at Ben, not understanding. “No,” he growled, lowly. “You are not staying here another minute. We’re leaving.”  


 

“You’re not taking her anywhere!” Plutt argued, from where he remained in the dirt.  


 

“You better hope you have a good lawyer.” Ben socked him in the jaw, then leveled his eyes at Teedo. “Anyone else have any objections?”  


 

Teedo shook his head, holding up his hands in surrender.   


 

“Get your stuff,” Ben told Rey. “I’m taking you out of here.”  


 

Despite the pain, she managed to walk to the Falcon without any assistance. He opened the rear passenger side door for her, standing guard while she rooted around the backseat until she pulled out her childhood backpack.   


 

“That’s all?” He asked, staring at the raggedy bag in disbelief.  


 

“It’s all that matters,” she replied.   


 

He offered her his hand to help her out of the car. She waved it away.   


 

“Are you always so stubborn?” Ben half-asked, half-teased.   


 

Rey didn’t answer him, tearing the keys out of the Falcon’s ignition before she climbed out of the vehicle. In her mind, the car had always belonged to Ben, so she was going to make sure if she wasn’t  around to watch over it, Plutt wasn’t able to move it. Ben and his mother could figure out logistics later.   


 

“Here,” she dropped the keys into his hand.   


 

Ben stared at them for a moment, before meeting her gaze. “Thanks.”  


 

“It’s yours,” she reminded him, not sure why he seemed confused she had handed the keys over to him.  


 

“Right,” he nodded. With a brief glance over his shoulder, he pocketed the keys. When he turned his attention back to her, he gestured to her. “After you.”  


 

Rey walked out of Plutt’s Salvage and Tow for the final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say thank you enough to you all for your support of this story. I was originally going to only write one chapter, but the response has been beyond what I imagined and it has developed beyond my original idea. Thank you all! Without your comments, kudos, and messages, I wouldn't be writing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so originally I was going to wait until after the holiday to post this, but you have all been AMAZING!!!! So as a BIG thank you, here is the next chapter early.
> 
> A special thank you goes out to [@star-horse](http://star-horse.tumblr.com/) for giving me advice on this chapter. You all have her to thank for helping me to decide to not end the story here but continue on.

 

 **** Despite her assurances that she was fine, Ben did drive Rey to the hospital. When he pulled up at the emergency room, she crossed her arms over her chest and made no move to unbuckle her seat belt in silent form of protest.   


 

“Rey,” Ben said her name in a tone she hadn’t heard before. She glanced over, noticing how his hands were shaking. They were still bloodied from when he had maimed Plutt’s face. “Please.”  


 

The way he all but begged reminded her to the night Kylo had left — reminded her too much of that night. The only difference was Ben was begging her to go and she had begged Kylo to stay.   


 

He was staring at her with an earnest look in his orbs. They were the same warm amber they had been when he saw Ms. Tano. Rey didn’t have time to contemplate what that meant. Her body moved on its own accord, as she unwound her arms and removed her seat belt.   


 

“Ok,” she breathed.   


 

“Thank you.”   


 

She had never had someone thank her for taking care of herself. It struck her as odd, but then again so did a lot of things about Ben Solo.   


 

“Go in awhile,” he told her, freeing her from his intense gaze, “I’m going to park then I’ll be in to join you.”  


 

Under normal circumstances, his wording would have sounded more appropriate for a dinner date, where the man dropped the woman off at the door out of a sense of chivalry. As it was, Rey wasn’t entering a fancy restaurant. She walked into a cold and sterile building by herself.  


 

The smell was much stronger than Ahch-To and it assaulted her nostrils. She scanned the room. There were at least twenty empty seats scattered about and another ten or so filled with seated people waiting to be seen. For an emergency room waiting area, the nurses at the check-in desk didn’t appear to have any sense of urgency.   


 

Slowly, Rey proceeded towards the counter, aware as she moved past the other waiting patients their eyes followed her. No doubt they were admiring the blossoming bruising on her face, which accompanied her split cheek.   


 

“Um..hello,” she greeted the first nurse timidly.  


 

The woman raised her eyes from her computer screen, widening when she took in Rey, colored in bluefish-purple. If she was surprised by how she looked, it faded as quickly as it came on. “Fill these out,” the nurse ordered her, handing over a clipboard with at least five sheets of forms.  


 

“Thank you.”  


 

Rey took a pen from a container on the counter top and found one of the empty seats in the waiting area.   


 

She had filled in everything she could, her pen tip paused over the section: Insurance, when Ben burst through the doors.   


 

His hurried entrance caused more than a few people to glance up at him. Upon seeing her, he immediately rushed to her side. “Are they going to see you?” He asked.  


 

“Uh, yeah,” she tilted the forms towards him so he could see where she was hung up. “Just have to finish filling this out.”  


 

“Just write ‘none’,” he instructed her. “I’ve got it.”  


 

“Ben, no, I can’t-.”  


 

“It’s my fault you were stuck there in the first place.”  


 

Rey stared at him. What? How could he possibly believe that?   


 

“No, Ben—,” she caught herself as her hand began to reach for his. His eyes flickered to her movement, both their breaths catching in their throats, and both letting out a discontented sigh, when she placed her hand down on her lap.   


 

If she wasn’t ready to touch him, the least she could do was be honest with him. After all, he had just assaulted two people in order to protect her. Whatever friendship they had been slowly building towards seemed insignificant in comparison to his complete dedication to save her.   


 

“-it’s not your fault. It was my parent’s fault,” she told him. “They...-.”  


 

_They what? Killed your father? Left your mother a widow? Condemned you to a coma for the past decade and then some?_  


 

Rey took a deep breath. “They were alcoholics. They often left me alone st home unattended and one night when they did...well, they never came back.”  


 

Ben’s eyes were trained on her, searching her own for something — something she couldn’t name.   


 

“I found out years later they had been killed in an accident, driving under the influence and without licenses.”   


 

Here, Rey paused, taking a moment to collect herself. Telling Kylo had been difficult. Having to tell Ben felt slightly more challenging for some reason. Maybe it was because she could see his face so clearly and she suspected it would contort in revulsion when she admitted the truth.   


 

“They hit another car that night. It was the Falcon.” Ben’s eyes widened, not by much but enough for Rey to notice. Her chest tightened and she bit her bottom lip. “So, it’s not your fault. It’s mine.”  


 

The exhaustion of her double work schedule combined with the attack and her confession got the best of her in that moment. Despite her attempt not to, she began to cry. The tears stung her open cut, but the burn wasn’t enough to keep her from working up to full sobs. Rey brought her hands up to her face, covering up the bruises and the tears all at once.   


 

“How could you-,”  


 

_Here it comes._  


 

“,-you possibly think that, Rey?”  


 

_Wait. What?  
_

 

She lifted her face out of her hands. Ben was still staring at her, only this time she knew what was in his eyes.   


 

He went to put his arm around her, then corrected himself and load it across the back of her chair instead.   


 

“You were a child. They left you. They left you unprotected and unappreciated,” he told her, resolute in his belief. His voice quieted as he finished. “I know what that’s like.”   


 

Rey’s tears slowed. She had to tell him. He had to know what he — what Kylo — had meant to her.   


 

“Ben, when you were at Ahch-To-.”  


 

“Rey Niima?” A nurse called from a door off to the side. “Rey Niima?”

 

Ben stood immediately, his attention snapping to the medicinal professional and his intent to see her patched up. “That’s us.” He gave a brief wave to the woman.   


 

“Follow me, please.”

  


* * *

 

  


The examination room was small, about a quarter of the size of the waiting area. Rey sat on the table, while the nurse checked her blood pressure, heart rate, and asked her some basic admission questions. Ben remained with her. His large form comically squashed into a plastic chair in the corner of the room.  


 

“She’ll be in to see you shortly,” the nurse advised Rey, before closing the door on her way out.  


 

The second they were alone, Rey decided to finish what she had started in the waiting room. “Ben, about Ahch-To-.”  


 

“My uncle told me you volunteered there,” he cut her off. “You were assigned to my room.”  


 

She wasn’t prepared for that. If Dr. Skywalker has shared this information with his nephew, had he also spoken of what Rey had stopped him from doing to Ben? She doubted it.  


 

“I was,” she nodded, confirming what Ben already knew. “But before that...before I volunteered, I saw you. You came to me at Plu-.”  


 

“Good afternoon!” A female doctor burst into the room, holding Rey’s chart. Her eyes lifted from the tablet to where Rey sat. “You must be Ms. Niima?”  


 

“Yes,” Rey tried not to growl at the woman. She wanted to tell Ben the truth.   


 

“And this is?” The woman spotted Ben. He raised his eyes to Rey in an unspoken question, but before she could answer the doctor interrupted again. “Ben Solo?”  


 

“Uh, hi Dr. Kalonia,” he rose from his chair to shake her hand.   


 

“My stars,” the woman chuckled, “it seems like only yesterday your mother was bringing you in here for breaking your arm.”  


 

“Yeah,” he nervously laughed.   


 

“How is your mother?”  


 

“Fine. She’s fine. She has the summer off, but she’s still busy.”  


 

“Of course,” the doctor nodded. She glanced over at Rey. “And this must be your girlfriend.”  


 

Ben froze, but didn’t correct her.   


 

The woman — Dr. Kalonia — took Rey’s hand in both of hers, welcoming and a bit forward. It was as if they were meeting at a coffee shop or another domestic place instead of in the emergency room bay. “So nice to meet you.”  


 

“You too,” Rey made herself smile, despite how stiff her body had gone at the term girlfriend.’  


 

“As much as I’d love to reminisce,” Dr. Kalonia grinned at them, “I do have other patients to see, so let’s start with what happened to make you come in today?”  


 

Rey pursed her lips. “My guardian-,”  


 

Could she call him that? If she was being honest Kylo had been her guardian, her protector. Plutt was a greedy, self-indulgent glob who only saw her as a way to make more money. Guardian wasn’t a fitting term for him.   


 

“-the man I worked for hit me.”  


 

Dr. Kalonia gingerly places her finger tips on Rey’s face, tilting her head different ways as she examined the damage. “I’d say he did more than hit you. When did this happen?”  


 

“About an hour ago,” Rey answered, though she couldn’t be sure. The moment she had set foot outside the gate, it felt like she had been granted a new life. It could have been hours ago.  


 

“Forty-three minutes,” Ben supplied from where he and sat back down in the corner.  


 

Dr. Kalonia let out a harsh sigh and made a tsking sound, but her eyes continued to scan Rey’s face. “Ben, could you step outside for a moment, please?”  


 

Rey watched him rise over the doctor’s shoulders. He had gone a bit pale and he was clenching his hands at his sides. Ben caught her looking at him and mouthed ‘Will you be okay?’ Rey nodded. Only then did he do as the doctor had requested.   


 

“Close the door on your way out,” Dr. Kalonia added. Once the door clicked shut, the doctor took a step back, regarding Rey. “You’re malnourished and at risk for a number of diseases if you don’t begin a substantial increase in your daily caloric intake.”  


 

Rey wanted to roll her eyes. This woman, though seemingly kind, was well-put together. She had a perfectly trimmed dark bob of hair, with a stylish hint of gray coming in around the edges. Her white lab coat was pristine and her skin was blemish free. Dr. Kalonia had obviously never spent a day outside toiling under the Jakku sun.   


 

“I take it your boss doesn’t feed you well,” the doctor continued, disregarding Rey’s silence. She plucked her tablet up from where she and deposited it on the counter when she and inspected Rey’s face. “Rey, as a medical professional, I have to ask you the following. Please answer truthfully. I can’t treat you properly if you withhold information. Do you understand?”  


 

With a nod of her head, Rey said, “Yes,” and found herself impressed by the doctor’s demeanor. While kind, she was also determined to complete her job as efficiently and accurately as possible.   


 

“Are you in a safe environment at home?”  


 

_Oh..._ Rey had thought they would start off with an easier question.  


 

“Rey?” The doctor peered over her tablet at her. “Honesty, remember?”  


 

Sighing, Rey began swinging her legs back and forth to let off some excess nervous energy. “I don’t have a home right now. I was living at the...” She didn’t want to say it, not to this woman who had her life together and looked as though she had never gotten so much as a speck of dirt on her.   


 

“At the what?”

 

Rey hung her head down, answering in a voice which sounded so much smaller than her normal self. “The junkyard.”  


 

The doctor didn’t comment on this, just typed dutifully away on her pad. “And when you were there, where you in a safe environment?”  


 

“Not really.”  


 

“Has anyone ever struck you before? On the face or anywhere else?”  


 

“No.” She thought of how Kylo had intervened the last time. His powers must have gone out of affect once Ben woke up. “He tried but a friend stopped him.”  


 

“Ben?” The doctor asked, a pique of interest in her query.   


 

“No,” Rey responded once more. “Someone else.”  


 

“Alright,” Dr. Kalonia nodded, sensing this topic was closed. “Next question. How often do you work?”  


 

“Every day.”  


 

“For how many hours?”  


 

Rey shrugged. “I don’t keep track.”  


 

Dr. Kalonia paused for a moment, scrolling through her tablet, before she found whatever it was she was looking for. “You turned eighteen this year, is that correct?”  


 

“Yes.”  


 

“And you were working before that?”  


 

“Yes.”  


 

“Do you know how many hours?”  


 

“No.”  


 

“Rey,” the doctor placed the tablet down for a moment. “There are laws surrounding the permitted hours a child can work each week. The limit is set at forty hours a week and that’s for a non-school week.”  


 

Rey didn’t think she had ever worked less than an eight hour day ever. Her shock must have been evident on her face because Dr. Kalonia presses on.  


 

“How many years have you worked at Plutt’s Salvage and Tow, Rey?”  


 

Maybe it was how gentle the doctor’s voice was or how Rey suddenly felt the unfairness of her life weighing on her, either way the tears came again.  


 

“Since I was six...when my parents died.”  


 

Dr. Kalonia, to her credit, didn’t dawn over her or tell her she should have come forward sooner. She calmly nodded and said, “I see.”  


 

“I...I just need another month until school starts. I’ve been accepted to Corellia.”  


 

“Congratulations,” the doctor smiled. “That’s a great achievement.” Dr. Kalonia handed her a tissue. She gave Rey a moment to compose herself before she went to the door and opened it. “You can come in now, Benjamin.”  


 

Rey glanced up with her puffy eyes to see Ben immediately walked back in the room. It was clear he had been waiting outside for their entire conversation. She wondered how much he had overheard.   


 

“Ms. Niima,” Dr. Kalonia began typing and scrolling on her pad as she spoke. “I’m going to have one of our interns come in to stitch you up. It’s a superficial wound. It won’t leave a scar.”  


 

“Thank you,” Rey replied.  


“In terms of your overall health, I’m prescribing some supplements and vitamins to help get you back on track. It would accelerate the process if you ate whole food, organic, if possible and stay away from any processed products.”  


 

“What about coffee?”  


 

Dr. Kalonia raised a brow, but then her smiled returned. “Let’s try to keep it to one cup a day, Alright, Ms. Niima?”  


 

“Okay.”  


 

“Also, I believe it would be in your best interest to stay somewhere else for the time being. Do you have any friends you could live with?”  


 

“She’s staying with me,” Ben interjected before Rey could mention Ms. Tano or the Andors.  


 

Dr. Kalonia stared at him, then at Rey (who was also staring at him), then back at her pad. “Right, well I won’t worry about your diet then. Leia will certainly feed you well.” 

 

 

It was only once Dr. Kalonia had excused herself from the room that realized she hadn’t corrected the doctor about her assumption Rey was Ben’s girlfriend either.   


 

“I can stay with Ms. Tano,” Rey said, filling the sudden silence the doctor’s absence left in the tiny room.  


 

“You could,” he agreed, “but then I wouldn’t have a reason to wake up at an ungodly hour and make coffee.”  


 

“Ben-.”  


 

“Ah, there it is,” he teased, pointing at her face. “I almost got a smile that time.”  


 

Despite their location and her situation, Rey couldn’t help but grin. It was childish and he was purposely putting off the rather serious discussion of her spending her next month living with him and Principal Organa, but she was thankful for the break in tension.   


 

The day hadn’t turned out the way she had thought it would. She was starting to believe it had turned out better. 

  


* * *

 

It was another two hours before Ben pulled the Maxima into the driveway of an elegant red brick English-style Tudor home. Rey tried not to gaze at the sight, while she unbuckled her seat belt.   


 

“Just ignore my mom,” Ben told her, as she followed him up the front walkway. “I do.”  


 

He opened the front door, standing to the side to let her pass. The instant she stepped into the foyer, Principal Organa came down the steps.   


 

“Rey!” She made a beeline for Rey. “Oh! Look at your face. Ben,” she paused only a split second to look at her son, “go get her some ice to help with the swelling.”  


 

“It’s fine,” Rey assured her. “Dr. Kalonia said it won’t scar.”  


 

At this, Principal Organa raised her eyes to her son once more. “Harter was there?”  


 

“Yes,” he replied.  


 

Principal Organa took on a formal tone, the one Rey remembered from her disciplinary speeches at school. “What did she say?”  


 

“Does it matter?” Ben growled. Rey glanced over at him, seeing his hands clenched as they had been earlier at the hospital. She felt as though she was missing something.   


 

“Of course it does!” Principal Organa huffed, indignantly.   


 

Ben made a move towards her and Rey watched his mother, more than a head shorter than him level him with a stare. “Benjamin Organa Solo, not in front of our guest.”  


 

“Fine,” he gritted out. He stormed off towards — what Rey assumed must be — the kitchen.  


 

Yep, Rey was definitely missing something.  


 

“Rey,” Principal Organa turned back to her, “let’s get you settled.” She gestured for Rey to follow her and began ascending the same staircase she had just come down.  


 

“Settled?”  


 

“Yes, dear. Your room of course. I’ve put clean sheets on the bed and there are fresh towels on the dresser if you want to get a shower.”  


 

Rey nearly tripped up the next step. She had barely spoken to Principal Organa since her junior year presentation for Mr. Andor’s class. Why was she treating her like part of her family?   


 

“Principal Organa?”  


 

The older woman glanced over her shoulder with a broad smile. “Leia, dear. You’re no longer a student. I believe we can dismiss with the formalities, especially since you’ll be staying with us until summer’s end.”  


 

“Um...right,” Rey tried not to think too hard on how she was going to survive an entire month with Ben Solo as her personal guard and shadow. “I appreciate everything you and Ben have done, but I can call Mr. Andor or-.”  


 

“Nonsense,” Principal Organa — Leia — stopped a couple of feet after she hit the top of the staircase. “Besides, Cassian and Jyn already know you’ll be staying here. They are excited you’ll be joining us for our Friday Poker nights.”  


 

“Your...your what?”  


 

Apparently there was an endless black hole of questions to ask when one was involved with the Skywalker-Organa-Solo clan. Ben wasn’t the only one who had shocked her today. She couldn’t even begin to fathom what her favorite teachers looked like drunk and gambling with the high school principal.   


 

Leia just smiled away and led her to the end of the hall where a bedroom bigger than Plutt’s entire trailer awaited. Just as Leia had mentioned, the bed was made and there was a tower of towels seated on a dresser along the far wall. She followed her old principal into the space. Leia practically glided across the floor.  


 

“The bathroom’s through there,” Leia pointed to a door in the corner. Feel free to use whatever is in there. I wasn’t sure what products you preferred so I got a bit of everything.”  


 

When had Leia had time for that?  


 

Rey stood in the middle of the room surrounded by the pleasant smell of a clean home and the woman who had taken the time to make it welcoming for her. It was such a sharp contrast to the earlier half of her day, she felt as if she was coming off an emotional rollercoaster. She was on the verge of crying again. 

 

Of course that was when Ben reappeared.   


 

“Here you go,” he held out an ice bag wrapped in a towel. Rey took it with a ‘thanks’, carefully pressing the cold compress to her injured cheek.   


 

The stitches were still sore, as was the underlying cut, but she had been told to take ibuprofen if needed. Rey wasn’t unused to pain. What she felt now was nothing compared to what she had put up with in the past.  


 

“I’m sorry about your morning,” Leia told her, “but I’m glad Ben convinced you to stay with us this summer before you start at Corellia. It’s been so quiet in this house up until a few weeks ago. Now I have two kids to look after!” She gushed, excitedly and moved to pull Rey into a hug.  


 

“Mother.” Ben’s tone was a warning.  


 

Leia halted mid-way to Rey, her face stricken. “What?”  


 

“Rey doesn’t like to be touched,” he informed her. “She’s just too polite to tell you.”  


 

Leia glanced from her son to Rey. “I’m sorry, R-.”  


 

“No,” Rey waved her off, “it’s fine. You can hug me. I haven’t had a proper hug since graduation.”  


 

“Oh!” Leia immediately commenced with the hugging.   


 

As she did, Rey was aware of Ben’s eyes burning into her back. She couldn’t see him, but she had an inkling he was disappointed — over what though, she wasn’t sure.   


 

“You both must be hungry,” Leia noted, upon releasing Rey. “I’ll go get something ready for dinner.”  


 

“Is that wise?” Ben asked.  


 

“I meant I’ll order something,” Leia clarifies, though she sent a pointed look at her son when she did.  


 

“Something organic and healthy,” Ben added, as his mother brushed past him. “Maybe from that place on Main?”  


 

“Good idea.” Leia went down the hall and soon Rey heard her steps as she descended to the first floor.  


 

Ben and her stood alone in her room, silent for the moment. 

 

Rey stared at him, searching for some semblance of the friend she had once had. His rage from earlier had been entirely Kylo. The pain he had inflicted on Plutt and Teedo was that of a monster — her monster. There were no red eyes. There was no growl of protectiveness in his voice. There was no sweeping of dancing ash molecules to tickle her skin. There was no Kylo Ren left. He was gone. 

 

Where Kylo had been shrouded in black, Ben Solo was light. His skin was the color of the moonlight, fair and smooth. There were a few dark moles decorating his face and neck like constellations in the night sky. They contrasted beautifully against his pale tone, just like his raven locks, which looked to be as smooth as silk. His hair was the closest thing to the dark she could find, but even the color of that wasn’t as dark as Kylo had been. 

 

“So it’s just me then,” Ben remarked, sullenly, ending the reign of quiet. He was unaware how his statement echoed her own inner dialogue.  


 

“What?” Rey furrowed her brow.  


 

“When I tried to...before...you always back away.” He was struggling with the words, but she understood. She had let Dr. Kalonia tend to her and the intern and had allowed Leia to embrace her but she had never let Ben come into contact with her.   


 

“Are you afraid of me?” He asked, before she could explain herself.  


 

“No.”  


 

_Yes._  


 

“Then why? Why won’t you let me...” he couldn’t finish the question and she couldn’t answer him.  


 

It was difficult to justify — her avoidance of touch. He had picked up on how it was only in terms of him. She wished he hadn’t. Her resolve to be honest with him had withered since they had left the hospital. Doubt swirled in her mind, telling her he’d think she was crazy, taunting her with losing another friend just as they had become...well whatever it was they were now.  


 

She thought of the month she had ahead of her. Could she live here in close proximity to him the rest of the summer when he was looking at her like that — like she had mortally wounded him?  


 

No.  


 

“I’m not afraid of you,” she attempted to explain, “I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me if I tell you the truth.”  


 

“What truth?”  


 

Rey inhaled deeply, held the breath for a few seconds, then exhaled. It grounded her, at least enough for her to continue.  


 

“I saw you before you came for the Falcon and before I volunteered at Ahch-To.”  


 

“In the papers?” He guessed.  


 

“No,” she shook her head. “I broke into Ahch-To to see you...to see if I could...”  


 

Ben took a step towards her, his eyes searching hers. “To see if you could what, Rey?”  


 

“To see if I could bring you back.”  


 

Rey waited, hardly able to meet his gaze. She was embarrassed, ashamed, nervous and about a million other things all at once. Ben’s eyes were wide at her confession, wide and filled with a revelation.   


 

_He thinks I’m insane._  


 

“Rey,” his voice came out breathy, at the same time his hand started to reach for hers. "I saw you too."  


 

“What? When?”  


 

Suddenly, his hand found hers and Rey let it happen. The instant his fingers touched hers, Rey felt a jolt, as though a spark of electricity had passed through them. Their eyes locked and both of them gasped in unison. 

 

Just like how the air had stilled in his room at Ahch-To, Rey felt the atmosphere change. Her focus went to him and only him. The guest room, the promise of a good meal, and the sound of Leia talking on the phone downstairs faded away, until it was just the two. It was as if nothing else in the universe existed. All she could see was him and all he could see was her. They were two figures bound together by a strange connection — one that transcended time and space. 

 

“How are you doing this?” He asked in a shocked tone.   


 

She shook her head, unsure how to answer. All this time, she had thought it was Kylo's powers or the power which had bound him that had created this affect. To experience it again, in the absence of both parties, startled her.   


 

“It is you,” he muttered, more to himself than to her, “I thought maybe it was all a dream, but this isn't a dream. This is something else.”  


 

Rey watched him, seeing how his lips pursed slightly and how his opposite hand flexed at his side. The tiny movements may have seemed inconsequential to anyone else, but she recognized them as a way to let out some of his nervous energy. She was making him uncomfortable.  


 

“I’m sorry,” she told him in a quiet voice. “I shouldn’t be here.” She yanked her hand free of his grasp, needing to break the spell between them. If she didn’t, she’d never be able to leave. She rushed past him towards the hallway, keeping her head down so he wouldn’t see the tears. Her heart couldn’t take another rejection — not from him — not now.   


 

“You weren’t afraid before, little one. What are you afraid of now?”  


 

She froze, feeling her heart skip a beat.   


 

_Did he just call me-?_

 

“Rey, my little one.” His voice came again, cleared and closer than the first time.   


 

She had to swallow the lump in her throat. The impending sensation of crying hitting her full force as she heard him use Kylo’s term. Ever so slowly, she pivoted around to him, finding him staring at her with eyes that begged her to stay, just as she had once asked him to stay. 

 

Slowly, as though he was afraid he might scare her, he placed his hands on her arms. His eyes had gone from dark brown to a warm caramel, almost as if they had melted into the new color. The way he held her was gentle with a touch of power, the kind of protective hold only someone who cared for you could provide. He was Ben Solo, but he was also Kylo Ren.   


 

“Rey?”  


 

She nodded to his unasked question. She knew what he needed. She needed it too.   


 

He closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him. The second her face collided with his chest, she was crying into his t-shirt.   


 

“Shhhh,” he rubbed circles into her back with one hand, while the other stroked her hair. “I promised I would find you again, little one.”  


 

Rey gripped onto his shirt with her fingers, letting out a half-laugh, half-sob into his chest. “You came back to me.”  


 

“I have never lied to you and I never will.”

 

“You left me,” she reminded him, feeling petty as soon as she said it. “You promised you wouldn’t and then you did.”  


 

“I know. I’m sorry.”  


 

“I thought by freeing you, I'd find answers. But I was wrong,” she rasped, face still buried in his shirt, as he continued in his attempt to calm her. "I’ve never felt so alone."  


 

He leaned down, kissing the top of her head. “You’re not alone.”  


 

Rey leaned back to peer up at him. She had suffered over the last couple of weeks, but seeing the pain in his eyes, she realized she hadn’t been the only one.   


 

“Neither are you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Thank you to the wonderful [Panda Capuccino](http://pandacapuccino.tumblr.com/) for the below artwork of this scene:

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to the lovely (and thirsty) ladies of the Writing Den. Love you all for your support and keeping me active as a writer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [@star-horse](http://star-horse.tumblr.com/) for giving this a read through and making sure I make sense!

****

As much as Rey wanted to ask Ben about what he knew — or what he thought he knew — she needed a shower. Once inside the bathroom, she peeled off her grease and dirt covered clothes and shoes, careful to avoid coming into contact with her stitches. The tiled floor felt cool on her toes and she flexed them a couple times to get used to the sensation.

  


Unlike the rusty shower head in Plutt’s trailer, this one sprayed forth like a waterfall. Rey leaned her head back, enjoying the feel for a few moments, while she thought on Ben’s admission. 

  


He said he had seen her, but did that mean he remembered everything? He knew who she was, yes, but did he know how she felt — how she had loved him? She blushed, thinking of how he had kissed the crown of her head, consoling her while she had cried. He had been so gentle with her, so compassionate. 

  


Rey smiled to herself. The way he had touched her was telling of how he and Kylo had meshed together into one. Kylo was possessive, protective, and raw power. Ben was serene, subtle, but also stable. The man who had held her just now was a perfect blend of both of those. He was like a thunderstorm, rolling in with might and force but leaving behind a calmness in his wake. 

  


Scrubbing herself clean, Rey opened the door to step out of the shower when she realized she had never grabbed a towel from the stack in her room. Biting her lip, she stared at her shadowy reflection in the mirror. It was fogged up due to the steam, so she couldn’t get a good look at herself, not that it mattered. She was in no shape to go galavanting around naked in a house that wasn't hers.   

  


“Ben?” She called, tentatively.

  


There was silence and for a moment she was sure he had gone elsewhere.

  


Then his voice came through the other side of the door. “Rey?”

  


She was glad there was a barrier separating them because she blushed all the way down her bare chest. “I...um, forgot a towel. Could you pass me one, please?”

  


“Oh.” His voice sounded farther away now and she heard his feet as he hurried across the room to retrieve the towel. She heard a noise, followed by a sharp curse. Had he stumbled? “Do you need a change of clothes?” He called over.

  


Rey glanced down at the pile of soiled garments she had left on the floor. Right. She had nothing else to wear. They had left in such a hurry she had only grabbed her backpack. 

  


“Do you have something I could borrow?”

  


“Yes,” his voice was close again. He was just outside. “Can I open the door? I’m not looking, I swear.”

  


She bit her lip to keep from laughing. He sounded so nervous. In a way, it helped. It made her feel less nervous, knowing he was just as out of her element as she was. 

  


“Yes, of course,” Rey told him. “How else am I supposed dry off? I’m soaking wet.”

  


Belatedly, she realized her words could have a different meaning than she intended. Judging by how brilliantly red Ben’s face was, when he opened the door to hand her the towel, she wasn’t the only one who caught on. He had one hand outstretched, offering her a clean towel, while the other was planted firmly over his eyes. 

  


“Thank you.” Rey grabbed the towel and tucked it around herself. “I’m decent,” she informed him. 

  


Ben was still red, all the way up to the edges of his ears, which were poking out of his raven hair. His gaze traveled over her from her wet hair clinging to her neck and shoulders, down her bare arms, over the towel, and along her bare legs to where her toes were wiggling against the floor.

  


He was rooted in his spot, drinking her in as if he was seeing her for the first time. His eyes were the same caramel color, a beautiful blend of the red Kylo had worn and the dark irises of Ben Solo. 

  


And Rey hoped it was because they were finally one. 

  


She still had questions, more than they had time for right now, but she would speak to him about their connection. She wanted to know what he had seen, what he remembered and she, in turn, would answer anything he had to ask. First, though, she needed clothes. 

  


“Ben?”

  


“Yeah?” He didn’t even flinch, his eyes focused on her and only her. 

  


“Clothes?” She reminded him. “I can’t eat lunch in a towel.”

  


He didn’t respond right away or move. Instead, he seemed to be contemplating something. Whatever it was, he made up his mind a moment later, letting out a breath and retreating out of her view. 

  


Rey shook her head, unable to keep the smile off her face. Shutting the door, she troweled off the excess moisture on her body, before twisting the towel around her hair. 

  


A knock came at the door. “Rey? I’ve brought you clothes.”

  


She dropped her head, catching the towel as it fell from her hair. She wrapped it around her body before opening the door once more.

  


He handed her a pile of clothes. “Thanks.”

  


Ben stared at her again, his mouth hanging agape slightly. This time, he recovered on his own. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “I, uh, well I’ll be downstairs. Lunch should be here soon.”

  


“Okay,” she smiled at him. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

  


“Okay,” he nodded.

  


As he turned to leave, Rey grabbed his hand. Hers was much smaller than his and she only managed to wrap her hand around a few of his fingers. “Ben?” He pivoted to face her and when he did, she went on her tip-toes to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you”

  


His eyes were blown, as she lowered herself from the balls of her feet. He looked at her as if she wasn’t real, which was ironic considering how she had met him. Then, as she dropped her hand from his, he surged forward. Lacing his fingers together on her lower back, he stepped into her and pressed his lips to hers.

  


Rey felt the fire in his kiss, felt it burn across every inch of her skin, hot and unrestrained. She let out a tiny sigh, leaning into him as she exhaled. Ben pulled her closer so she could feel the fabric of his T-shirt against her skin and her legs brushed against his. 

  


His hands unlocked behind her, one remaining at the curve in her lower back, while the other slide up under her hair to hold her neck, gently massaging and positioning her, as he deepened the kiss.  As his tongue delved into her mouth, she tasted him, sweet and savory. It was the first time she had kissed anyone and now she understood why so many of her peers had been doing it in school. This was pure bliss. 

  


Everything about the moment was perfect. She wanted to remember it always. She wanted to recall how it felt to have him hold her, how he tasted in her mouth, the way they both struggled for breath, unwilling to part. But eventually the need for air beat them. 

  


“God,” Ben moaned, as he backed away, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

  


Rey was blushing again, but she didn’t care. He was making her feel things — things she hadn’t felt before. True, she had had a crush on Kylo, which had eventually turned to love. What she was experiencing now — an overwhelming need to touch Ben, be close to him — this was uncharted territory. It had evolved slowly like her crush had. This feeling had ripped through her, disrupting all rational thought and taking over. She had never been dependent before. It was a strange sensation she wasn’t able to prevent and it pulled her out of control. 

  


“That was my first kiss,” she admitted.

  


“Mine too.” He surprised her. She had been sure he had more experience from her, not because of his age, of course, but because of how he looked. He was like a Roman god, all hard lines and planes with his pale skin and wavy locks. 

  


He must have read the shock in her expression, because he explained. “I wasn’t very popular in school.” 

  


Right. Kylo had said he was the subject of bullying too. “Guess we have that in common.”

  


“We have a lot in common, little one,” he told her, cupping her chin with one hand so he could brush the pad of his thumb across her good cheek. 

  


Rey closed her eyes, instinctively leaning into his touch. It felt so good, so deliciously good to be with him. There were no more secrets, no more boundaries — it was just them, as if it had always been meant to be. 

  


“I have questions,” she said.

  


“I’ll answer whatever I can,” he promised. “Start with something easy.”

  


“Ok,” she smiled up at him. “Do I call you Ben or Kylo?”

  


* * *

When lunch arrived from Dagobah Delicatessen, Leia called up the stairs to them. Ben had left Rey alone to get changed, though they did spend several moments in her room eagerly kissing. One taste was not enough for either of them. It wasn’t until Leila hollered, that they remembered where they were.

  


They decided using his birth name would be best, as the name Kylo Ren meant nothing to anyone other than the two of them. Even though she still had dozens of questions for him, he reassured her they would talk about it, but she needed to get dressed. She quickly did and they headed downstairs. 

  


Ben took her hand, no longer hesitant about touching her. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He took every advantage to press his skin to hers, whether as a kiss or an embrace. 

  


At the bottom of the steps, a small black dog waited for them. “Awww!” Rey gushed upon spotting the French bulldog. “Who is this?”

  


“This is Artoo,” Ben introduced her, as she knelt down to rub the dog behind his ears. 

  


“Hello,Artoo,” Rey smiled at the dog. 

  


She had never had a pet, but she had seen people walking their dogs by the school and sometimes people brought a puppy or kitten into Ahch-To to visit the residents. The pets had brought them so much joy. She had always been envious of those who could afford to have one of their own. 

  


“We have a golden retriever here somewhere too,” Ben told her, as she straightened up. “Threepio, but he’s not as friendly as Artoo. He’s a bit of a snob.”

  


Rey laughed.

  


Ben led her into the dining room, Artoo trailing behind them. His mother was already there, organizing a pile of take-out containers. Leia Organa had ordered enough food to feed ten people. Rey wondered if they were expecting guests, but as Ben took a seat, she came to understand this was normal behavior. She moved to sit next to him.

  


Rey wore a pair of Ben’s old cargo shorts, from his younger days, tied up with a belt and a muscle tank. It wasn’t overly fashionable, but it was clean. 

  


When Leia took in the sight of her, however, her immediate response was, “Oh dear, we need to take you shopping.”

  


“Mother,” Ben groaned, “Please.”

  


“Ben, I will not have Rey wandering around in your hand-me-downs. She needs appropriate clothing for her age. She’s a young woman.”

  


If Rey had been a typical teenager, she may have been annoyed about Leia’s persistence. As it was, Rey had never had a strong mother figure. She appreciated Leia’s thoughtfulness. 

  


“We can go to the mall after lunch,” Leia told her. “They’ll be having their back to school sales so we can get you a whole new wardrobe.”

  


That did alarm Rey. 

  


“Princ-, I mean, Leia, that’s very kind of you, but I can’t possibly let you buy me anything. You’re already letting me stay here,” Rey pointed out.

  


“Nonsense,” Leia waved, before passing her a dish of kale salad. “I love to shop. Believe me, it works in my favor just as much as yours. God knows, Ben won’t let me go with him.”

  


“Nope,” he muttered in agreement, as he stuffed a cracker layered with hummus into his mouth. “But I think you should wait until tomorrow. Rey’s clothes will be clean by then so she can wear them. Besides, she’s had a rough day.”

  


Leia couldn’t argue with that. “Well, tomorrow then.”

  


Rey gave her a smile, trying not to feel like a charity case as she helped herself to the best Dagobah Delicatessen had to offer.

  


* * *

 

  
After lunch, Rey offered to help Leia clean up, but Ben and his mother shooed her out of the kitchen, telling her to rest. Leia suggested the porch swing out back. Rey took her advice, pleased when Artoo followed her out onto the porch.

  


She picked him up and placed him on the swing, before taking a seat next to him. He rested his head on her lap and she scratched behind his ears while they swayed back and forth lazily. 

  


They sat in companionable silence — though she wasn’t expecting much commentary from a dog — until Ben came out looking for her. 

  


“Where are we going?” Rey asked, as he led her down the porch steps, away from the house and deeper into the backyard. 

  


“Somewhere we can talk,” he replied, giving her hand a squeeze as he walked toward a large tree at the far corner of the property. 

  


“We couldn’t talk in the house?”

  


“I don’t want anyone over hearing anything,” he muttered.

  


“A bit paranoid, aren’t you?”

  


Ben glanced over his shoulder at her. “When your uncle tries to kill you, yeah, you become a bit paranoid.”

  


“Touché,” Rey gave his hand a squeeze back. 

 

Though the underlying impact of what his words implied was dark, he was teasing her. She wasn't sure if she should be concerned about his morbid sense of humor or not. She couldn’t begin to understand how it must have felt for him to wake up to the memories of his relative nearly ending his life, especially since she had been so close to saving him. Rey tried not to linger on the betrayal. She chose instead to push it far from her mind. 

  


When they stopped at the bottom of the large tree and looked up, Rey nearly laughed. There was a treehouse hidden behind all the fresh green leaves. “You’re serious?” She asked him, taking in the structure. 

  


Ben dropped her hand to grab hold of the ladder swinging in the summer breeze. “Yeah,” he confirmed, with a smirk. “No one will bother us up here.”

  


With that, he ventured up and Rey followed. When she reached the top, he offered her a hand, helping her through the trap door. He pulled the ladder up, then snapped the door closed, behind them. 

  


For a moment, it was hard to see. She heard him fumble around a bit, before he found the latches to the windows and opened them, letting the sunshine in. 

  


The natural light allowed her to scan her surroundings. There were a few short stools, meant for children, not grown adults, which was made more evident by the scattered comics and candy wrappers she saw littered about. Each wall had a window which could be propped open, except one. On that wall a large handmade poster had been hung. ‘Starkiller Base’ it read in red crayon. 

  


This time, she did laugh. 

  


Ben caught the object of her amusement and turned red. “It was my friend, Hux’s idea,” he informed her. “We used to hide out up here while our parents talked on the deck.”

  


“And do what?”

  


“Pretend we were taking over the galaxy.”

  


“Sounds a bit dramatic,” Rey replied, trying to imagine a smaller Ben running around up in his fort, pretending to lay siege to an entire system. It was adorable. 

  


“Here,” he gestured to the floor where he had spread out a blanket. Rey joined him, but when she sat down across from him, he moved.

  


“Whats wrong?” She asked, as he settled in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

  


“Nothing,” he admitted, “just wanted to hold you.”

  


She felt warmth rush through her. It wasn’t the heat of arousal she had felt earlier when they kissed. This was pure, a feeling of respect, devotion, and fidelity. 

  


_Love._

  


Rey’s cheeks burned. Loving Kylo had taken years. She had grown up with him, learning about what made him tick and what made him sigh. She had spent years nurturing the friendship they had built until it had blossomed into something beyond companionship. 

  


Ben was new. She was drawn to him and she did trust him. His involvement in her life had been nothing short of valiant, yet it was difficult to recognize he was Kylo and Kylo was Ben. At least...she thought now they were intertwined.

  


“What do you want to know?” He asked, as if sensing her inner struggle.

  


“Who are you now? Are you Ben Solo or Kylo Ren?”

  


He hummed against her jaw, keeping himself pressed to her, draping himself around her despite the seasonal heat. She didn't mind. 

  


“I was always Ben Solo and always Kylo Ren,” he answered, cryptically. “Somehow when I was in the accident the physical impact and the emotional one split my soul and suddenly I was divided...unbalanced. It was too much. I felt too much. I couldn’t contain it any longer. All my rage, all my passion — it all was deferred outside myself. When it happened, I wasn’t really aware of it. I thought I was dead — a spirit — so I drifted into the night, away from myself, away from what had happened.”

  


Rey drew her arms around his, hugging him back as he continued. 

  


“In time, I came to realize I wasn’t dead, though I wasn’t alive either, not entirely. I wasn’t sure what I was or what I was doing but I figured it was punishment for my father. I blamed myself for his death, so I gave myself a new name and continued to drift. I hoped eventually I’d just evaporate into the night, but I never did.”

  


“Because your physical body was still living?” Rey asked. It was more of a suggestion than an actual question, but it wasn’t as though they had a guidebook for this sort of thing. 

 

  


“Perhaps,” he agreed. “I was still tethered to this world and the further I tried to venture away, the more aware I became of the limitations of my ability to travel. Eventually, I realized I couldn’t move freely because of my binding. When the Falcon came to rest at the salvage yard, I did too. I saw the dice and I just....knew. I'd never be able to leave, unless they did to.”

  


“And then I came along,” she supplied.

  


“Yes,” he nodded.

  


“So you remember me?”

  


“Yes, little one,” he chuckled, kissing her temple. “I remember a curious creature crawling into my home and taking something that didn’t belong to her.”

  


Rey scoffed. He squeezed her, pressing another kiss to her hair and then another to her neck. She shivered, as she remembered that day and how she had felt upon seeing the dice. 

  


“They called to me.”

  


Ben stilled. “The dice?”

  


She nodded. “As soon as I saw them, I had to touch them. I had to have them. I can’t explain it. I just felt this-.”

  


“-Pull,” he finished for her.

  


“Yes,” she breathed. They sat in silence for a moment, both digesting what the other had said, before Rey asked, “What do you think it means?”

  


“I’m not sure.” Ben’s voice was contemplative and she let him think in silence, simply enjoying the feel of him around her. 

  


And to think, she had been afraid what would happen if she touched him again or him her. She had been missing out. He was much larger than her, but their size difference seemed to make them fit together more perfectly, as if they were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle meeting up. She couldn’t help but think maybe it was meant to be — him and her. 

  


After all, what were the chances of both her parents and his father being in the same accident? And what were the chances that same accident would leave both her and him stranded — her at Plutt’s and him in a coma? 

  


“Do you know what the markings mean?” She asked. “I’ve never seen markings like the ones on your father’s dice.”

  


“What markings?” 

  


Rey attempted to draw the symbols in the air with her pointer finger. 

  


“The dice don’t look like that,” he told her.

  


She turned around, pulling out of his hold. “Yes, they do.”

  


“No,” he insisted, “they don’t. I would know. I played with them almost every day as a child. They used to hang over my crib.”

  


She ignored his protests. Rey was sure the dice were the key to explaining this unusual phenomenon. “Do you still have them?”

  


“Of course,” he answered. “They are in my room.” She got to her feet, ready to head back into the house, when he grabbed her hand. “Rey.”

  


“What?” She saw his face was red again. Had she said something wrong?

  


“I just got you alone,” he reminded her. “Can’t we stay up here for a bit longer? Together?”

  


_Oh. Oh!_

  


“Yeah,” Rey replied, situating herself back down in front of him. 

  


“Always so stubborn,” he teased, playfully, as he enveloped her once more. 

  


* * *

 

Rey wasn’t sure how long she stayed wrapped up on Ben’s arms. They had spoken about everything — her getting into Corellia, what she wanted to major in, how nervous she was about sharing a dorm room with another girl after what had happened with Mashra. He told her about his plans too — how he wanted to go to college once he had earned his GED (though he wasn't sure what for), how he planned on keeping the Falcon until his dying day, and how he wasn't able to look his uncle in the eye since he had woken up. 

 

"Even before I got my memories back," he confided in her, "I knew something was wrong. I just couldn't place it." 

 

"Ben?" she asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of her. 

 

"Little one." He kissed her head. She loved when he did that. It made her feel treasured, special. 

 

"Your mom," she started. "How did she know I was going to be staying with you?" 

 

"Oh," Ben went rigid, "right, so about that." 

 

Rey started to grin. "Is this about the phone number you wrote out but never gave me?"

 

"Uh, yeah." She could hear the nervous edge to his voice again. "My mom caught me sneaking out the first morning I came to take you to work. When I realized she knew who you were, I asked if you could stay in the guest room. It never gets used anyway. She said as long as it was alright with you. I was going to ask you that day, I had even written my number out in case you needed time to think about it, but I chickened-out. I was pretty sure you would say no. Then when I was parking at the hospital, I quick called my mom and told her I finally asked."

 

"I don't even have a phone," she pointed out, "so it wouldn't have mattered anyway." 

 

"It does matter," Ben stated, more confident this time. "You should have never been there in the first place, Rey." 

 

"And if I hadn't been, we would have never met," she reminded him. "So there." 

 

They fell back into discussing other things varying from the weather to how lunch had been to the need to call Ms. Tano that she wouldn't be making it into work until her stitches had healed.

 

Hours went by as they chatted. Rey had finally allowed herself to relax and simply enjoy the feel of him. Dusk was falling, before she heard Leia about into the backyard. 

  


“Ben! Rey! It’s getting dark out. Why don’t you two come back inside?”

  


She started to stand, when Ben’s arms latched around her and yanked her back down. Rey let out a yelp before she was brought down onto his lap. “Ben.”

  


“Not yet,” he breathed the plea against the crown of her head. “I just got you back, little one.”

  


Burying her face in his shoulder, she laughed. “You’ve been stalking me for the better part of two weeks, Ben Solo.”

  


“Because I was searching for you.”

  


Rey scoffed and then it was Ben’s turn to pull back. He leaned down so he could be press his forehead to hers. “I’m serious, Rey. Before we touched — before I could remember it was you — I heard your voice. I couldn’t see your face, but I knew you were out there, somewhere waiting for me.”

  


_I was_ , she wanted to tell him. 

  


“And when I saw you at the junkyard, I needed you to be the girl I saw in my dreams. I can’t explain it,” he continued, “but when I woke up in Ahch-To, it was like I was missing something, like my senses weren’t working at full capacity and I was only seeing half the picture. Then I had this pull, this urge to see my father’s car, maybe because when I woke up it was his dice on my hand.”

  


“I put them there,” Rey told him. “When I was volunteering at Ahch-To.”

  


A genuine smile formed on his face. “It is you. It was always you." 

 

He kissed her again, with the same passion he had earlier and she felt as if she was floating. All too quickly, he was pulling back again. 

  


 

“Rey,” he cupped her face in his hands, locking eyes with her. “I don’t know how it happened or why. Honestly, I don’t care. All I care about is you. I want you in my life from now on."

 

She had never had someone tell her they wanted her. Not her parents. Certainly not Plutt. Not even her teachers, as kind and generous as they were. It took everything in her power not to cry right there in his arms. 

 

"Rey?" 

 

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she forced the tears back. "Oh, you're not getting rid of me that easy, Solo. I'm here for the long-haul." 

 

Ben had never smiled so wide before. 

 

* * *

 

They ate leftovers for dinner with Leia and by the time she had her fill, Rey was suppressing a barrage of yawns. 

 

"Why don't you head to bed?" Leia suggested. "You've had a long day." 

 

Ben walked her to her room, kissing her lightly before he went back down to help his mother clean up. Rey would have insisted on staying down to help, but her limbs were heavy and her eyelids were closing all on their own. She barely made it under the covers before sleep claimed her. 

 

Rey woke to an argument a couple hours later. She blinked the sleep from her eyes, trying to get her bearings. It was the first night she had actually slept in a bed, so that was her first indication she wasn’t at Plutt’s Salvage and Tow. The voices were familiar, but it took her a minute to place them. 

  


“-and what does it matter to you?” She heard Ben growl.

  


_Who is he talking to?_

  


“It matters to me because I just got my son back and now he’s talking about moving out!”

  


_Ah, Leia._

  


“I’m an adult. That’s what adults do!”

  


“Keep your voice down,” his mother hissed. 

  


Despite his apparent anger, Ben’s next words came out quieter, but Rey could still make them out through her door. “I’m going tomorrow while you girls go shopping. You best make peace with that.”

  


“This isn’t good for either of you,” Leia insisted, “rushing into this.”

  


“We’re not rushing into anything. This has been a long time coming.”

  


“You only just met her last week!”

  


Oh, so they were talking about her. Rey bit her bottom lip, uncomfortable with the notion she was causing a disagreement between her hosts.

  


“I thought you liked Rey?”

  


“I do. She’s a brilliant young woman and she has a bright future ahead of her.”

  


“But?” Ben prompted.

  


“But,” Leia sighed and it was so quiet Rey nearly missed it. “She’s very young, Ben.”

  


“Seriously?” He scoffed, his volume rising with his irritation. “ _You’re_ going to give _me_ a cradle-robbing lecture? How old were you when you married dad?"

 

“It was different back then.”

  


“Yeah,” Ben made a disgruntled noise. “Okay.”

  


“Do you know her?” Leia asked, calmer now. “I mean you’ve hung out and you’ve talked but do you know who she is? Who her parents were?”

  


Rey felt her heart clench in her chest. She realized this was what she had been missing — this was the argument she had inadvertently walked into when she first arrived at the Organa-Solo residence. 

  


“Don’t start,” Ben warned, his tone steely.

 

“It was their car that caused the accident.”

 

“So their child should pay for the sins of the parents? Yeah, that makes sense,” he grumbled. “Because we all know you paid for your father’s crimes,” he continued, sarcastically. 

 

“You don’t know the first thing about Anakin!”

  

“No?” Ben challenged her. “I know he was a political extremist!”

  


Rey took a step back, her eyes still focused on the argument in the hallway. Leia looked stricken, but Ben continued.

  


“I don’t recall you paying for his crimes.”

  


“I wasn’t aware of my father’s actions until I was much older.”

  


“And a six year old girl is supposed to be aware her parents are drunks?” He spat in defense of Rey.

  


“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Leia insisted. 

  


“Then what are you saying?”

  


Rey who had been sitting up right in her bed was shaking, more and more uncomfortable with each word that passed between mother and son. 

  

“Ben, they killed your father. They put you in a coma.”

  


“And Uncle Luke nearly finished me off!” He roared, “But we don’t talk about that, do we?”

  


Leia had no words. She must have decided to drop it, because when she spoke next it wasn’t about Rey’s parents or the accident. In fact, it was about the future instead of the past. 

  


“She’s going off to Corellia in a month and what will do then?”

  


“I haven’t decided yet.”

  


“You better make up your mind fast. You know Poe Dameron goes there. I wouldn’t put it past him to take an interest-.”

  


“I thought you didn’t like the idea of me being with her?” Ben interrupted.

  


Rey peered out her door, just in time to see Leia cup her son’s cheek. “I didn’t say that. It’s just a big step for both of you. You’re still children and what you’re talking about...it’s a life changing decision, Ben.”

  


“I know that.”

  


“Do you?” She asked, but when he didn’t back down, she nodded. “Okay then.” Her lips curled up in a smile. “You’re just as stubborn as Han.”

  


“He would have liked her,” Ben replied, softly.

 

“Yes,” her eyes twinkled with unshed tears, “he would have.”

 

Backing away from the door, Rey saw Ben hug his mother. For some reason, even though she had been eavesdropping since she was woken up, this interaction seemed private. She returned to her bed, just catching Leia's words as she wished her son goodnight. Rey moved to get under the covers when her bed creaked. Her breath caught in her throat. 

 

What bed creaked that loud?

 

She heard heavy footsteps, ones that were far too heavy to be Leia. 

 

"Rey?"

 

Ben's fingers wrapped around the door, which she had left ajar. Before she could think what to do, he was poking his head in and their eyes locked. 

 

"Um, hi," she greeted him, sheepishly. 

 

"We woke you." 

 

It wasn't a question. Still, she felt as though she explain why she was up and why she had been listening in on their conversation. "I'm sorry. I-."

 

"It's fine," he cut her off with a chuckle. "We should have kept it downstairs. My family isn't known for their silence." He looked around her room in the dimly lit room. The only light was streaking in through the windows from the moon. "Do you have everything you need?"

 

"Yes," Rey confirmed. "Thank you."

 

She expected him to bid her goodnight and walk out, but he lingered. He was fidgeting again, a clear sign he was nervous. She thought on what Leia had said. "Are you moving out?" 

 

Ben glanced at her, then the floor. She patted the bed, signaling him to take a seat next to her. He crossed the room in two steps, his gait much wider than hers, and started talking before he hit the mattress. "I'm twenty-eight. I shouldn't be living with my mom. Most people my age have jobs, their own apartments...some are even married already." 

 

"Ben," Rey placed her hand over his. "Most people didn't just wake up from a twelve-year coma."

 

"Yeah," he brushed his other hand through his hair, "but I can't rely on her forever. I need to be self-sufficient." 

 

She laughed. "Ben, you just woke up. Give yourself some time." 

 

"I don't have time," he quickly responded, his jaw tight. 

 

Rey realized they weren't really talking about him being prepared for the real world anymore. "Oh. Oh, Ben." She wrapped her arms around his frame the best she could, leaning her cheek into his shoulder. "I'll come visit. Corellia isn't that far away." 

 

"I know," he sighed. "I just feel so cheated. I finally get you in my life when we can actually be together and you're going off to college and I'm...," he hung his head, "basically still a teenager."

 

She gave him a squeeze. "We found each other. You came back to me," she reminded him. "That means something."

 

"What?" He pulled back. 

 

"That we're going to make it through the distance and anything else that comes along. We've already made it this far."

 

Ben turned, reaching over to hold her chin. He stared into her eyes, making sure she was looking directly at him when he spoke next. "I want this to work — you and me." 

 

"We will," she promised, not wavering in her glance or her words. "We will." 

 

He leaned in then, kissing her. His hand dropped from her chin to rest on her hip and she linked her hands behind his neck. Ben shifted his legs up onto the bed, crawling over her. Rey leaned back onto her pillows, giving him the space to advance. He kept himself propped above her, close enough to kiss her, but not resting his full weight on her form. The proximity and his intention to stay with her verbalized for the second time that day had her heart and mind buzzing. 

 

"Stay here tonight," Rey found herself asking. 

 

"Whatever you want, little one," he agreed, as he tossed back the covers so they could both shimmy under. "I'll give you whatever you want." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you were confused over who he is in charge (ie:Ben or Kylo). I hope this helps put that debate to rest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Please note the change in the rating. I believe some of you knew this was coming. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta[@star-horse](http://star-horse.tumblr.com/) for going through this one with me while I went back and forth on the one scene. Her advice always helps!

Rey woke slowly the next morning. She felt safe and warm, a rarity in her life up until yesterday. Her sleep hadn’t been plagued with nightmares or distorted memories of her childhood. Instead, she had drifted in the dark, uninterrupted and secure.   


 

Now, as her senses awakened with her mind, she became aware of a few things. First, she wasn’t alone. Ben was with her. He had kept his promise and remained next to her all night. Second, though they had fallen asleep with him wrapped around her with her back flush against his chest, she awoke to a different position. She was lying with her cheek on his chest, one arm draped over his torso and one leg haphazardly thrown over his own.   


 

Rey blushed. Regardless of the heated kisses they had shared and the feelings he had sparked in her (which she believed were mutual) she was not willing to chance Leia walking in on them if they were to pursue anything beyond kissing. Still, feeling the heat of him beneath her hands made her want it.   


 

Ben must had felt her wandering hands, because he began to rouse. “Mmmm,” he turned his head on the pillow towards her. His eyes blinked a few times, as he focused on her. “Morning, little one.”  


 

“Morning,” she smiled over at him.  


 

He lifted himself up just enough to kiss her, before flopping back into the pile of pillows. “What time is it?”  


 

“I don’t know. I just woke up,” she admitted.  


 

Ben stifled a yawn and nodded. He placed his hand on her back, rubbing soft circles there. “How did you sleep?”  


 

“Good. You?”  


 

“Perfect.”  


 

Rey beamed. She hadn’t been the only one to have a restful night’s sleep. It was hard not to wish every morning could be like this one.   


 

“You’re going shopping with my mom today,” he reminded her.  


 

“That’s the plan.”  


 

He groaned. “Don’t sound so enthusiastic.”  


 

“Why? Because she does like me even though she has a weird way of showing it?”   


 

Rey meant it to come out jokingly, but as she said the words, she had her own doubts. Leia has every right to be concerned when it came to Ben. Rey had hoped her concern wouldn’t affect their relationship. She liked Leia and she wanted the woman’s approval.   


 

“She does like you,” Ben insisted. “She’s just pulling the protective mother act because she’s built it up over the last twelve years.”  


 

It made sense to Rey — really, it did — but it didn’t make it hurt any less. What Leia had brought up about her parents was a shadow Rey felt she’d be trying to escape the rest of her days.  


 

She had never had a sip of alcohol and after her altercation with Plutt, she didn’t ever plan on it. Alcohol had already cost her too much in her short life. Rey didn’t think she could ever enjoy the substance, even socially.   


 

“Rey.” Ben gave her a squeeze. “She’s looking forward to today. Everything will be fine, alright, little one?”  


 

“Alright.”  


 

“I promise,” he told her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into him, savoring the warmth and comfort his proximity provided her. “If you need a get-out-of-jail-free card, just remind her that you’re the best chance she has of ever having grandchildren.” 

 

“Ben!” 

 

Rey grabbed the nearest pillow and swatted him with it. He only laughed. 

 

* * *

 

After the three of them had breakfast (and Rey finally caught a glimpse of the snobby Threepio), Ben drove both of them over to the mall.  


 

Rey insisted on sitting in the back, since she was their guest, even after Leia told her she’d be fine.   


 

“It will be like Driving Miss Daisy.”  


 

To which Ben’s only response was to roll his eyes and tell his mother to get in the car before he left without her. 

 

The Canto Bight Mall was more luxurious than any place Rey had ever been — not that she had much to compare it to. She felt out of place in her jean shorts and tank top paired with her grease covered sneakers. She was almost sure she’d be kicked out of each store, had it not been for Leia and Ben at her sides.  


 

Ben left them to do their ‘girl thing,’ claiming he had some research to do and errands to run. He gave Rey a chaste kiss on the edge of her mouth before he took off. She smiled as she watched him drive away, still amazed they had found one another.  


 

“Let’s go in here first,” Leia suggested, leading her inside the mall and making a sharp right into a shoe store.   


 

Rey sighed and resigned herself to the day Leia had outlined for her. When she followed Leia instead, she nearly went right back out. The shoe store was more than sneakers and flip flops. It had pumps, boots, and other styles Rey had no name for. She glanced up at the sign behind the cashier.   


 

Aldo. It was a brand name and, judging by the way the attendants rushed to help her get fitted, an expensive one.   


 

Leia sat by her, as the sales associates assaulted them with box after box of options. Rey insisted she only needed a new pair of sneakers — real ones, not fashion sneakers — but Leia insisted she needed a wide range of options.   


 

After what seemed like forever, they departed with two bags each filled with boxes.   


 

From there they ventured into several boutiques for clothes. Leia handled Rey’s protests much the same as she had in Aldo. They meandered in Banana Republic and J. Crew, but the prep style (as Leia referred to it) was not for Rey.  


 

They tried H&M next, followed by Express, Garage, and Free People. Rey had more luck there, opting for plain, simple, and comfortable over fashion. Leia did convince her to toss in a few dressy options, telling Rey she may want them for a special occasion like a date, to which Rey turned scarlet.   


 

“We have one more stop before lunch,” Leia told her, as they continued through the mall.  


 

“Great!” Rey cheered, “I’m starving.”  


 

Rey had assumed the last stop was for Leia, so when they rounded the corner to enter a lingerie store, she stopped dead in her tracks.   


 

No. The mother of her — ‘boyfriend’ didn’t fit, not with all they had been through — Ben (she was going to refer to him as Ben) was not about to purchase her new undergarments. Absolutely not. Rey drew the line there.  

 

One of the store clerks was already talking animatedly with Leia at the entrance, but Rey hung back. She refused to step inside the intimidating store, especially with her former principal.

 

Leia caught her wary stare and exited just as quickly as she had entered. “Rey, I’m going to go down to Barnes and Noble to get a new planner for next year. I’ve arranged for you to have a fitting with Amy.”

 

“A fitting?” 

 

“Yes, for your bras.”

 

“Leia-.”

 

“No, no, don’t start!” Leia pressed a credit card into Rey’s hands. “Get whichever ones you want. Amy can help make sure you get the right sizes.”

 

“I only need a couple.”

 

Leia scoffed. “You are going to college. You don’t want to be doing laundry every day. Get at least a dozen and make sure you pick out a swim suit or two, as well. You’ll need it for Spring Break.” 

 

_Right!_ Rey wanted to roll her eyes. When was she ever going to have the money to go on Spring Break? 

 

“I’ll be just down there,” Leia pointed to the bookstore down the hallway. “Come find me when you’re done and we can go get lunch.” Without another word, she walked away, leaving Rey standing outside the store clutching her bags in one hand and the credit card in her other. 

 

“Ms. Rey?” 

 

She turned to see the attendant waiting for her. With a huff, Rey ventured into the lingerie store. 

 

The girl turned out to be actually quite helpful. Her name was Kaydel Connix and she was a senior at Corellia. Once she found out Rey was set to attend in the fall, there was no stopping her chatter. She gave Rey advice on which of the Greek houses had the best parties, where to get a decent cup of coffee, and pointed out the importance of attending all the football games. 

 

By the time Kaydel was done giving Rey the rundown on her college choice, Rey had her arms full of sixteen different sets of bras and panties in a varying selection of colors. She also had a swimsuit on her arm. Never having owned one before, she wasn’t comfortable with a bikini, so she had chosen a black one piece with mesh panels. Kaydel called it “practical sexy,” to which Rey just laughed. She wasn’t sure if there was a way to be practical and sexy, but she didn’t have much experience in that arena. 

 

After paying for her items and thanking Kaydel, she walked down to the bookstore. Leia was already waiting for her, eager to take Rey to one of the restaurants in the mall, where she claimed they had the best Cobb salad. 

 

“Rey,” Leia started, as they enjoyed their lunch together, “there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”  


 

Rey paused, her fork hovering over her salad, waiting for what she was sure would be judgement about her relationship with Ben. After the fight she had overheard last night, she was anticipating Leia to dissuade her dating Ben. 

 

“Your foster...father,” Leia spoke the word slowly, as if unsure how else to refer to Plutt. “Have you considered filing charges against him?”  


 

Rey hadn’t been expecting Leia to bring up her past situation. When she looked into the older woman’s eyes, she saw a concern and steel determination. Rey wasn’t sure how to respond. Ben was the only one who had ever fought on her behalf before.   


 

Leia slid her hand across the table to put on Rey’s arm. “I know a lot of very powerful people. I could help you get a restraining order and make sure what happened to you never happens to anyone else again.”  


 

“I don’t think he’ll come after me,” Rey commented, “not after what Ben did.”  


 

Here she paused, worried Leia would be upset about her son’s involvement in the final altercation. “Though I would get the Falcon out of there before he does something irreversible.”  


 

“The car is a machine,” Leia patted her arm. “It can be replaced. You are made of flesh and blood. There will never be another one like you. Ben knows this.” She smiles at Rey, warm and genuine.  


 

Rey didn’t hesitate to return the smile. “He learned from the best.” She turned her arms so she could squeeze Leia’s hand.  


 

The older woman sighed then, the smiling slipping off her face. “I feel as though I owe you an apology, Rey.”  


 

“For what?”  


 

Leia’s eyes shifted away from Rey’s face, focusing on something else in the distance. “I should have championed for you last year.”  


 

_What?  
_

 

“Cassian,” Leia continued, “Had his suspicions about your home life. When he brought them to me, I planned on getting involved, but I’ve seen what false allegations can do to a person, so I sought other opinions.”  


 

“Other teachers?”  


 

“Yes,” Leia nodded, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. “Well I spoke to them, they expressed concern with me showing favoritism. It isn’t surprising. The board had been trying to get me to retire for years and some people were looking for a way to push me out.”  


 

Rey pushed her salad back. Leia had known about her terrible conditions and had chosen not to intervene because of her job. It felt like a punch in the gut. The woman she had grown up admiring, the one who she had immediately liked, hadn’t lifted a finger to help her.  


 

Until yesterday, which begged the question.  


 

“So why now?”  


 

“Ben is rather taken with you.”  


 

Rey made a face. Certainly that couldn’t be all there was to it. Ben was Leia’s only child, yes, but was she so quick to throw caution to the wind just because her son was interested in someone?   


 

Leia read her expression. “He didn’t hesitate. He saw injustice and he didn’t think of anyone else...just you.”  


 

As hurt as she was knowing the truth of Leia’s choice, Rey always felt a surge of warmth for how Ben had stood up for her. Even without his memories of her, he had been looking out for her, protecting her despite her indifference.  


 

“Rey, I’m sorry,” Leia said, softly. “It was inexcusable of me to turn back on you. Maybe if I hadn’t you wouldn’t...” She trailed off and Rey didn’t have to look at her to know she was admiring Rey’s wounded face.   


 

“I...I’d like to go back now,” Rey told Leia, her voice wavering a bit.  


 

“Yes, of course.”  


 

Leia handled the bill and they rose from their seats. Wordlessly, they made their way to the entrance. Rey was relieved when she saw Ben standing there, waiting for them. Her pace picked up, the moment his eyes caught hers. His calm expression fell away the instant he took in her distraught one. He moved towards her in the same instant and then his arms were crushing her to his chest. She dropped her bags, not caring about the contents within. All she cared about was how it felt to be embraced and accepted by him.   


 

“Shhhh, little one,” he whispered into her hair, as he held her. “Shhhh, it’s alright now. I’ve got you.” 

 

She never even had to tell him what was wrong.

  


* * *

 

  


Once they arrived back at the house, Rey went straight up to the guest room to shower. She didn’t bother to say a word to either Ben or Leia. Neither one tried to stop her.   


 

She waited until she stepped under the shower head to cry. It felt as though she had been doing that a lot lately. Knowing the truth, about how she had been passed over by Leia, stung. Even though she had Ben, her abandonment issues were cut open like a fresh wound.   


 

It was clear why Ben had been so cold towards his mother and why they had been fighting. He had known. He had known the entire time that his mother had left Rey at Plutt’s. Had their roles been reversed, she would have been livid over the idea a minor had been left in such a state.

 

As it was, Ben was on the same wave length with her. The moment she stepped out of the shower she heard shouting. She dried off to the sounds of both her hosts screaming at one another. The mid exact words were difficult to discern through the wooden floor boards, but Rey could make out the protective tone of Ben’s deep timbre.   


 

She changed into a new set of pajamas, locating it out of one of the dozen or so bags Ben must have brought up while she was in the bathroom.   


 

The set was a basic cotton camisole and shorts in a light gray color. It was practical and covered enough she would feel comfortable walking around her dorm at Corellia in it once she arrived.   


 

The yelling continued and she decided it was in her best interest to stay out of it. She wasn’t ready to speak to Leia yet anyway. Instead, she turned her attention to the collection of bags on the floor and began pulling out each of her purchases.  


 

There were jeans in a variety of washes and colors, tops ranging from tanks and tees to long sleeves and sweaters, and an assortment of cardigans, light weight jackets, and hoodies. Leia had scoffed at the casual nature of Rey’s choices, so she had caved in and also selected a couple of sundresses, a charcoal pencil skirt, and a little black dress, which apparently was to be called an LBD.  


 

The real reason Rey had picked out those pieces had more to do with looking nice for a potential date with Ben than Leia’s insistence for her to have some elegant pieces.   


 

They only had about three weeks left until her scheduled move-in day at Corellia College. Rey wanted to make the most of those days with Ben. She wouldn’t be able to work again until her stitches came out, so it would give her an excuse to spend every waking moment with him.   


 

She was so deep in thought, daydreaming about what they could do together, while she organized her new clothes that she hadn’t noticed the fighting downstairs had come to a stop. Rey reached down into one of the bags, retrieving a black lace set she and purchased when Leia had left her alone.   


 

At the time, Rey had thought black was practical for under her darker clothing but now as she held it against herself, she realized it was also suggestive. Flush crept into her face and she tossed the pair on to the bed with the other items.  


 

“Did you get those today?”  


 

Rey jumped at the sound of his voice. Ben chuckled and shut the door behind him.   


 

“I came up here to check on you,” he told her, “and I’m glad I did.” He admired her in her pajama set, stepping closer so he could run the side of his finger down her bare arm. “You’re always so warm.”  


 

“Is that bad?” She asked, trying to read his expression, as he drank her in.   


 

“No.”  


 

Ben leaned down, his hands caressing her hips as his lips met her own. Rey felt he tension from earlier vanish as he kissed her. She reached her hands up to his hair. It was her favorite thing to touch — smooth as silk and lusciously thick, like the rest of him.  


 

Apparently Ben enjoyed her tugging on it and carding her fingers through his locks too because he let out a pleased groan. Rey giggled, giving another tug. He bent down, sliding his hands lower until they were cupping her ass and then with a light huff, he was picking her up.   


 

“Oh!”  


 

“Shhh, little one,” he whispered, against her, as he wrapped one arm around her and used the other to shove all her new clothes off the bed and onto the floor. “I’ve got you, remember?” 

 

As if she could forget. Ben knelt on the bed with one knee, keeping her tight against his chest until he had cleared away all the offending articles of clothing. He set her down and proceeded to pull his shirt off. Rey stared openly at his chest.   


 

The man had been in a coma for twelve years, why did he had an eight pack? How was he so ripped? She had learned all about muscle contractures when she had worked at the rehab center. His peak physical state made no medical sense. Then again, neither did the fact he had been woken up by her and a magical pair of dice, so really, who was she to complain? 

 

Her brain turned off the second Ben crawled over her. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, and she definitely couldn’t think... at least not about anything other than his hands on her.   


 

“Did you buy those for me?” Ben asked, inclining his head in the direction he had tossed her lingerie.   


 

Rey felt as though her entire body flushed at the implication.   


 

“Good girl,” he crooned, dropping his head to suck at the pulse point on her neck.   


 

If she hadn’t been able to think clearly before, Rey found it hard to think at all the second she felt his teeth against her throat. How did he know her body so well? Each time he touched her, it set off a chain reaction of sparks and fire.   


 

She was barely aware of how her body arched up off the mattress and into his own. There was heat radiating off of her skin, like a furnace, and she was convinced she would combust at any moment.   


 

“Ben?”  


 

“Yes, my little one?”  


 

“I need...”   


 

What did she need? She knew what sex was. Just like everyone else in high school, she had had to take the mandatory health class session which went into painstaking detail about it. She had never thought she’d actually need that knowledge. No one wanted her.   


 

Until now.   


 

“What do you need, Rey?” Ben asked, between continuing his assault down the front of her. He hit her collarbone and then went lower, right at the lip of her camisole top.   


 

The heat of her body intensified and she was positive she’d die before she could articulate a response.   


 

One of Ben’s hands snaked down between them, to rest on her hipbone. His thumb dragged lazy circles under the waistband of her shorts. Rey jerked upward from the sensation.  


 

“Relax, little one,” he whispered, his words blowing warmly across her damp skin. “I’m going to take care you.”  


 

All Rey could do was lie there and nod. Ben was watching her, making sure she wanted this — wanted him. And God, did she ever!  


 

“You need to be quiet for me, Rey. Can you do that?”  


 

Another nod   


 

She caught her bottom lip between her teeth.  


 

It was a good thing she did because once she gave him permission to continue, Ben dipped his hand beneath the cotton fabric of her shorts. He ran his hand over her core, glancing up to grin wolfishly at her when he realized she wasn’t wearing any panties.   


 

“You’re perfect,” he told her.  


 

Rey couldn’t formulate a response. Instead she was forced to grip onto the bedsheets, as Ben traced her folds with his fingertip. She had never been touched there before, not even by herself. 

 

When you lived with someone like Unkar Plutt luxurious like self-pleasure weren’t really an option. Plus, she had always been to busy trying to survive to worry about that sort of thing.  


 

Of course now...well, Now was a completely different story.   


 

As Ben’s finger continued to tease her entrance, his thumb pressed against her clit and Rey threw her head back, eyes squeezing shy tightly. Behind her lids, she saw stars. It was like getting hooked up to a set of spark plugs. The electricity swam through her veins and went directly to her core.   


 

And all she could think was, “More.”  


 

She hadn’t realized she had spoken the plea out loud, until Ben picked up his pace, eager to please her and bring her the release she craved. Rey could feel herself rising toward some unnamed landmark, a height she had never before reached on her own. The crescendo built in her belly and cascaded over from there until her whole body was thrumming under Ben’s touch.   


 

But it still wasn’t enough to send her over the edge.  


 

Rey rolled her head forward, staring at Ben, who was concentrating on his task. “Ben?”  


 

He glanced up at her.  


 

She was still too nervous to ask for what she wanted, but once again, he was on the same wavelength. He surged forward to catch her lips with his own and slipped his finger inside her molten center.   


 

Rey bucked her hips, instinct taking over as she gave into the delicious stretch of her walls around his digit. Ben remained leaning forward, his kisses becoming more frantic and sloppy as he started to thrust his finger in and out of her while keeping his thumb pressed firmly on her button.   


 

The landmark was in sight and Rey let herself meet it.   


 

He caught her eyes and clamped a hand over her mouth just in time to muffle her euphoric cry, as she went careening over the edge.   


 

“Fuck!” Ben gasped, falling forward only far enough so that he could rest his forehead against hers. They were both covered in a fine layer of perspiration, both panting for oxygen they had denied themselves in pursuit of their goal.   


 

Rey felt her body go lax, all the buzzing had stopped and she was left in a blissful state underneath him.   


 

Ben carefully removed himself from her, rolling to the side. She turned lazily to face him, watching as he sucked his finger clean. He returned her stare, never once blinking. The intensity of his gaze as he licked himself clean of her had Rey’s body thrumming once more.   


 

“What about you?” she asked. 

 

Ben looked at her, as if she wasn’t real. “Rey, you don’t have.”  


 

She didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence. Rey started to help Ben shimmy out of his pants and boxers. It wasn’t right that he was constantly taking care of her. She wanted to take care of him too. From what she could remember from health class, he would be very sensitive at the tip of his—  


 

_Fuck._  


 

Rey paused, eyes glued to massive member standing erect. How was that supposed to fit inside of her? Up until now their size difference hadn’t been a concern to her. She had actually found it comforting, but now she was intimidated and filled with fear that she wouldn’t be able to please him the way he had pleased her.   


 

“Rey.” Ben wrapped a hand around hers. She looked at where he was holding her hand and an idea popped into her brain.  


 

“Show me how you do it,” she suggested.  


 

“What?” Ben clearly didn’t believe he had heard her correctly.  


 

Rey moved their hands to his erection, so the back of hand gently ran along the underside of his cock. “Show me how you touch yourself, Ben.”  


 

He cursed under his breath, too low for her to understand what he had said. “I can’t believe you’re mine,” he muttered, shifting to kiss her temple before he guided her hand over his hard-on.  


 

She let him direct her hand, her small fingers barely reaching around him. Rey brought her second hand over, situating one on top of the other so she could hold all of him.   


 

“Good, that’s good.” Ben placed his hands over hers, showing her how to much pressure to apply and the best way to stroke.   


 

Rey had always been a fast learner and after a minute or so, she was pumping without anymore guidance. Ben’s head flopped back onto the bed, his breathing becoming ragged.   


 

“Little one,” he tugged at the strap on we camisole. “I want to see you. I want these off.”  


 

She ignored him at first, but he became more insistent, pawing at her pajamas, until she paused her efforts long enough to strip bare. Once they were both naked, Rey moved back over him to resume.  


 

That was when Leia called up the stairs, causing them both to jump.  


 

“What do you kids want for dinner?”  


 

“Goddamn it,” Ben hissed.  


 

“Is she going to come up here?” Rey felt all the blood drain from her face. Leia hadn’t been inclined to help her before. If she caught her jerking her son off, Rey was sure she’d kick her out.  


 

“No,” Ben growled. “I told her to give you some space.”   


 

“We have to answer her.”  


 

“Cover your ears,” Ben instructed her. Rey clamped her hands over her ears just as he boomed, “Just order from Mos Eisley and call it a night!”  


 

“Fine!” Leia screamed back.  


 

Ben shook his head, before turning back to Rey. “Where were we?”

 

Rey reached for him, noticing clear beads of liquid had formed at the tip. She thought of how Ben had licked his fingers cleaned and what it had done to her to see such a sight. It was time for him to get a taste of his own medicine.  


 

She stacked her hands on his cock, working up a slow steady rhythm as she pumped him. Ben’s head lulled to the side, falling back on the pillows once more. Rey waited for his eyes to flutter close before she leaned down and took the tip into her mouth. 

 

Ben jerked at the surprise sensation. “Rey, what are y—.” The rest of the question turned into an unintelligible noise as she sucked the fluid off his member.   


 

Taking in his very pleased reaction, Rey continued to stroke him while using her mouth to taste him. Ben’s hands were fisting at his sides and his hips twitched earnestly every so often, but he controlled himself enough not to buck out of her hold. 

 

“Little one,” he moaned, “I’m...I’m not going to last of you keep— uh!”  


 

Rey made him forget his protests as she moved her hands lower, one still pumping him, while the other massaged his sack. She bobbed her head down a bit further too, taking in as much of him as she was able to.   


 

“Rey. Fuck, Rey! I’m gonna-.”  


 

She felt his cock twitch and then he was spilling into her waiting mouth. Rey slowed her ministrations, coaxing him through his aftershocks. His hips pulled several times before his release ended.   


 

Wiping her lips with the back of her hand, she gave him a satisfied smirk, as she maneuvered herself to lay down next to him on her bed. “Where did you learn to do that?” 

 

Ben gazed over at her through bleary, blissful eyes. He cocked an eyebrow at her question.

 

“What you did to me before? How did you know where to…to touch me?” 

 

“You ladies went shopping and I…did some research,” he informed her, his ears turning red. His prior confidence ebbed away and the man who had made her body sing turned back into the shy, inexperienced person she had come to know. 

 

“Research?” She teased, gently shoving his arm. 

 

The color darkened on his ears and bloomed across his face. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.” 

 

Rey’s teasing ended immediately. “Ben,” she took his face in her hands, “you came back to me. You got me away from Plutt. You gave me some place to stay and food — food, Ben,” she stressed the importance of that particular one. Food was never something she hadn’t had to work for or worry about. He had resolved all of that for her. “I don’t think you’re capable of disappointing me.” 

 

“I love you,” he replied, reaching out to stroke his hand down her bare side. 

 

“I love you too.” 

 

Rey snuggled into his side, content to enjoy another moment wrapped up in him. Ben hugged his arms around her, placing a kiss on her forehead. 

 

“After twelve years lying in a bed, I didn’t think I’d ever want to spend any length of time in one again,” Ben commented, “but you’ve proved me wrong again, little one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is wrapping up. There will probably be one more chapter and then the Epilogue. Thank you all for your constant support! Much love *mwah*


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [@star-horse](http://star-horse.tumblr.com/) and [@reylorobyn2011](http://reylorobyn2011.tumblr.com/) for helping me with this chapter. I always appreciate advice and these two ladies have been amazing as I worked to wrap up this story.

****

  
As the days at the Organa-Solo house turned into weeks, Rey fell into a routine in her temporary home. It gave her purpose and kept her busy. All her life she had functioned on a schedule and there was no reason for her to stop now just because she was a guest in their household. In fact, she saw it as a way to give back, a way to say ‘thank you’ without words for their hospitality. 

 

After Rey had settled in, Ben and her adhered to their previous routine together, with a few adjustments. Each morning instead of waking up alone, Rey woke with her boyfriend wrapped around her. Though he had had no issue with rising for her before she lived with him, she quickly found he wasn’t a morning person, so she took it upon herself to make the coffee each morning, for which he was grateful. 

 

Each morning when she woke up, she’d tip toe downstairs to take Artoo and Threepio out in the backyard. While they did their business, she’d get them fresh water and fill up their food dishes. By that time, Ben had gone through his five alarms and was usually stalking into the kitchen.  


 

Which led to Rey’s next task — making the coffee. Once she had discovered how easy it was to brew her favorite drink in their Keurig, she loved experimenting with the machine. She found she liked mixing the hazelnut and regular so the sweetness wasn’t overpowering and she found Ben preferred the dark roast with a hint of her leftover hazelnut. 

 

Her stitches needed a full three weeks to heal, per Dr. Kalonia. Rey visited her at the hospital once a week to check the area and make sure there was no risk for infection. 

 

“It’s healing up nicely,” the doctor told her, happily when Rey stopped in about two weeks after the incident at Plutt’s. “No scarring. You should be good to get them removed next week.”

 

Rey had been relieved. She was growing wearying of having to explain why she had a vertical line bisecting her face. Ben usually answered for her, knowing she was self-conscious about the mark and trying to spare her from having to explain herself for what seemed to be the hundredth time. 

 

She was more comfortable when she was back at the house, where no one asked about her face. Rey had never been one to worry about her appearance, but each time someone questioned the mark on her face, she was reminded how it had gotten there. Those memories weren’t ones she wanted to revisit ever. Ben understood and tried to make her time spent at the house as relaxing and welcoming as possible. 

 

Friday nights were her favorites. Cassian, — she was getting over how weird it was to call her former teachers by their first names — Jyn, Baze, Chirrut, Bodhi, and even Mr. Eso (he did not liked to be called Kaytoo), came over at the end of each week and the crew had a picnic potluck of sorts. Each dinner was immediately followed by rounds of drinks, from which both Ben and Rey sustained, and several hands of poker.   


 

Rey was wary of alcohol, even in her new safe environment. The effect it had had on her life was not one she wanted to repeat...ever. Ben respected her decision and abstained as well, though she suspected it had more to do with how intoxicated Leia got each time she drank than anything else.   


 

Ahsoka came by every Sunday with fresh baked goodness and her own warmth. She had told Rey she could come back to work, but only if she manned the cash register instead of being in the back where sweat or flour could affect her stitches. Rey had gladly accepted, appreciating the extra money, as well as a distraction from being in the house with Leia.   


 

She and her old principal had had a rocky week following Leia’s confession. Rey stuck to the backyard and her room for a majority of that time, limiting her interaction with Ben’s mother. Leia didn’t press her. She accepted Rey’s need to process on her own terms and kept away when she knew Rey in the kitchen or another part of the house.   


 

Ben stuck to Rey’s side, accompanying her to Snip’s each morning. He’d study in the back office while Rey and Ahsoka worked until it was time to go back home. Some days, they would stop at the park and take a walk together, just for some alone time. Other days they went right back to the house and Rey would find him waiting for her under her sheets when she stepped out of the shower.   


 

“You’re insatiable,” she laughed as he pulled her down the one afternoon.  


 

“Mmmm, I waited a long time for you, little one. I’m making up for lost time.”  


 

The first time they had had sex was in Ben’s treehouse, which made her glad she had gotten an IUD when she had first went back to visit Dr. Kalonia. 

 

Ben had surprised her that night after dinner by leaving a note for her to come find him. She knew the only place he’d hide was his childhood fort and proceeded into the backyard, climbing up into the treehouse. When she threw the trap door back, Rey gasped.  


 

The place was lit up by an assortment of candles. Ben had clustered them into groups around the space so she could clearly make him out, as well as make out the bed of blankets he had positioned in the middle of the room.   


 

“You found me,” he grinned at her from where he knelt in the center of it.

 

“I did,” she responded, hoisting herself up the rest of the way and closing the door. “What’s all this?”  


 

“I think you know,” he chuckled, taking her hand and gently pulling her over to where he sat. Rey knelt before him, letting his hands caress her face and brush down her neck. “I don’t want any interruptions.”  


 

“Did young Ben Solo ever consider his first time would be in this treehouse?” Rey teased.  


 

“Young Ben Solo thought girls had cooties,” Ben informed her.   


 

“Maybe I do,” she flashed him a coy smile.  


 

“Only one way to find out,” he told her, already tugging at the hem of her tank top.   


 

They made quick work of their clothes, helping each other strip down until they were both bare before one another.   


 

Ben’s gaze ran the length of her body, tracing every inch of flesh she had revealed to him. He had seen her naked dozens of times over the last couple of weeks but Rey still felt shy in her own skin. In her  nervous state, she opted for humor.   


 

“See any?”  


 

“Hmmm?”  


 

“Cooties? Do you see any?”  


 

Ben’s eyes lit up, as he took in her expression. “No, but I should be more thorough,” he commented, moving to loom over her. “Don’t want them to get you.”  


 

Rey started to respond with a snappy comeback, but Ben silenced her with a kiss. He stole away her breath along with her words, as he dove in, his tongue immediately seeking entrance.   


 

She felt waves of heat spreading out from his chest. It was a different kind of temperature than the warmth she felt in the summer air. This heat was electrically charged.   


 

Ben’s hands grasped her hips, hauling her to him and eliminating the space between them. Their bodies aligned together perfectly and Rey found herself once again thinking they must have been made to belong to one another.   


 

She tilted her head back slightly and Ben’s mouth moved from hers down her jawline to her exposed throat. He pressed wet, sloppy kisses in a trail down to her collarbone which had her feeling both chilled and roasting at the same time.  


 

Rey shivered against him, gasping when she felt his hardness pressing up against her belly.   


 

“I want you, little one,” he murmured against her skin. “I want to make you mine.”  


 

She raked her fingers through his hair, gently scraping along his scalp. Ben moaned.   


 

“I’m already yours,” she promised. “Do it.”  


 

Her consent was all he needed, it seemed. Ben tucked one arm behind her back, while the other palmed her breast. As he worked it in one hand, his mouth latched onto her opposite breast. He sucked in her nipple, flicking his tongue across the erect point. Rey grabbed his shoulders, feeling a shockwave course through her.   


 

Ben continued pleasuring her, as he repositioned then on the blankets, laying her down on her back. He had a leg on either side of her hips and when he withdrew his hand from her back, he snaked it down between them to her center.   


 

“I want to hear you, little one,” he crooned between playful bites under her breast. “We’re alone up here, far away from the house. Don’t hold back.”  


 

“Ben,” she panted. His words were causing her to unravel and his fingertips were dancing teasingly over her slit in time with his demands. He was going to drive her mad with want.  


 

As if he could read her thoughts, he kept his ministrations to her outer lips, moving temptingly close to her clit, but never touching it. Rey bucked her hips up, desperate for him to rub her where she needed to feel him the most.  


 

While he played with her, seemingly testing her boundaries, he continued to lavish her breasts. Her nipples were hard and her chest was as flushed as her face with desire.   


 

“Ben, please.”  


 

“Please what, little one?” He purred.   


 

God, what had happened to shy, joking Ben who had been scanning her for cooties? When had he morphed into this confident sex fiend? Then Rey recalled how assertive Kylo had always been. Perhaps he should have been a succubus instead of a shadow demon.   


 

“Please let me feel you. I need you.”

 

Finally he gave into her, easily sliding a finger into her. There was resistance, but not as much as the first time he had entered her.  Yet, she wanted more. She liked the feel of his massive hand on her, but they weren’t what she hungered for now.  


 

“Ben,” she whined.   


 

“Shhh, I know,” he responded, his thumb applying pressure to her clit. Rey cried out and he thrust another finger into her cunt. “You’re being so good, little one.”  


 

He lifted his head up, kissing her neck and then her lips. “So good.” His words brushed over her mouth. “Just for me.”  


 

“Yes,” Rey nodded, feeling the pleasure from his efforts taking over her. She was beginning to lose herself again, filled with his fingers and enjoying the texture of his wide tongue licking her skin.  


 

There was something stirring deep within her. Her core clenched around his intrusion, the muscles seizing around him. She could feel each knuckle as Ben moved and when he hit a spot deep within her she saw fireworks.   


 

Her release didn’t come though. Ben slowed his pace, while focusing on her heaving chest. He took her nipple between his teeth and pulled. Rey let out a yelp, her back arching off the blankets. Ben placed a kiss to her red bud, soothing the area over with his tongue before repeating the same treatment to her other breast.   


 

Rey had never felt so alive. Her entire body felt an electric sizzle lighting it up. It was as if she was feeling too much and not enough all at once. She never wanted it to end.   


 

Ben scissored his fingers, causing Rey to jerk. The sensation was new and even though it sent pleasant shocks through her, the sudden change had startled her. Her eyes locked on Ben’s. He released her breast, leaning back on his heels, placing his other hand on her hip to keep her still.  


 

“Are you ready for me, Rey?”  


 

_God yes!_  


 

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak out loud. 

 

“I want to hear you, little one.”  


 

Rey swallowed. She couldn’t think beyond the sensations coursing through her form. Every inch of her was thrumming with energy. Her skin was flushed to the point a light sheen of sweat was now covering her.   


 

“Rey.”  


 

“Yes!” She begged, her mind in a lustful haze. “Please, Ben.”  


 

Ben slid his fingers out of her and she groaned at the loss of the pleasurable stretch. It was only a momentary loss. The. The head of his cock was stroking up and down her entrance.   


 

Rey lifted her head, half-lidded eyes taking in the scene before her. Ben was kneeling over her, propped up on one hand while the other held himself as he teased her slick folds.   


 

“God, you feel so good, little one. Just for me.”  


 

“Just for you,” she repeated, sensing the climatic build inside of her. The anticipation of how it would feel to take him in was causing her body to bristle with even more energy. She didn’t want to wait any longer. “Ben, please.”  


 

Her request came out as a breathy whine and within the next second he was thrusting into her. Rey cried out, unable to control her vocal response. Ben placed one hand on her waist to keep her from shifting, he pulled back and thrust back in with a satisfied groan.   


 

Rey clung to him as he canted his hips against her, drops of sweat falling from his brow and trickling down between her breasts. Neither cared. They were too lost in one another and the euphoric haze they had created for each other.  


 

“So tight. So hot. So good.” Ben spoke praise against her temple as he continued driving deeper and deeper into her.  


 

He grabbed her for her legs one at a time, draping then over his shoulders. Rey cried out again, her fingernails digging into the flesh of his back as he pounded into her. The stretch was exquisite in a way his fingers could never achieve. As he relentlessly rammed into her, Rey felt the crescendo of her orgasm begin.  


 

Then Ben hit her spot.   


 

His eyes flew open and a curse spilled from his lips. Rey’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she let it a needy sound. Ben pulled nearly all the way out, leaving only the head of his cock within her before surging forward and hitting the same spot again.  


 

“Ben!”  


 

Rey screamed out his name. She was about to plummet, spiraling through waves of passion each more intense than the last and she did all she could to hold on.  


 

“Come with me, little one,” Ben instructed her, moving his hand to her center. “I want to feel you.”  


 

She couldn’t respond, at least not verbally, but she locked eyes with Ben. In that second it was as if the entire world stopped around them. Rey felt him, everywhere regardless if he was touching her physically there or not. It was the most intimate moment of her young life.   


 

The second ticked by and Ben snapped his hips one final time, sending them both descending into their joint release. 

 

Rey felt boneless, as she laid back into the blankets, content if she never moved again. Ben lowered himself down on her, conscious enough not to collapse his full weight onto her. She carded her fingers through his hair, gently when he rested his head on her chest. She felt full and complete in a way she had never felt before. With Ben’s weight on her, she also felt protected and safe. 

 

He was all things to her and she had never felt as loved as she did in that moment. 

 

They laid together in the quiet. The only sounds they were aware of was each other’s labored breathing, as they slowly came down from their high. Ben recovered first, placing light kisses along her chest and every inch of her he could reach from his position. Rey giggled. Her body was spent and each kiss tickled her sensitive skin. 

 

Eventually, they returned to the house, the practicality of their chosen spot to make love no longer escapable, as they both desperately needed to get cleaned up. They showered together in silence, still basking in their bliss, neither one willing to be parted from the other just yet. Afterwards, they slipped under the sheets, without bothering to dress and sunk into a dreamless, restful sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Rey had’t forgotten about Han’s dice. When the Falcon was towed out of Plutt’s Salvage and to the Organa-Solo household, Rey seized the opportunity to broach the topic with Ben once more. He had claimed he still had them and informed her he planned on putting them back in their rightful place — hanging from the rear-view mirror of the silver Ford. 

 

Rey followed Ben to his room, watching as he went to his desk and retrieved the pair from the top drawer. 

 

“Are they in here?” Rey asked, walking in after him.   


 

It was her first time in his space. Since she had moved in, they had slept, showered, and stayed together in the guest room. They had never had a reason to use his room.   


 

“Yeah, here.” Ben dropped the golden dice into her hand.   


 

Rey turned them over, inspecting the sides to see the markings. All that she saw where the typical dots, as if they were playing dice.   


 

“What?” She turned them over again. She tried shaking them. She covered them up in her hands and then opened her palms to see them, but nothing changed. The dice remained normal.   


 

Ben stared at her as she went about her process. After a few minutes, when her frustration started to be made known by her muttering of curses and other unsavory language, he placed his hand over hers. 

  
“Rey?”  


 

“They were etched into the dice,” she insisted. “They didn’t look this way before. Don’t you remember?”  


 

Ben suddenly blushed. “I...um...I never really looked at them much after you stole them. I was...,” he trailed off, the red reaching up to the tips of his ears.  


 

Had she not been so concerned about the changing markings, she would have known why. As it was, she was too preoccupied with figuring out the mystery of Han’s golden token to understand Ben’s embarrassment.  


 

“Was what?”  


 

He looked at her with the same disbelieving expression he had worn when his memories had come back. “I was too focused on you.”  


 

“Oh!” Rey’s mind snapped away from her search and to the man before her. “Oh,” she repeated again, quieter.   


 

She stepped closer to him, cupping his face on her hands. “You always were there for me.”  


 

Ben turned his face into one of her palms, kissing it. “You’re important to me. I never wanted you to be alone.”  


 

“I’m not anymore,” she reminded him with a smile. “I have you.”  


 

“And you always will,” he promised.

  


* * *

Even though Ben wasn’t concerned about the markings, Rey continued to think on the mystery. It ate away at her for a couple of days before she decided she was going to the town library to try and determine the cause of the change.   


 

On her day off from Snip’s, she borrowed Ben’s car to go to the library. It had taken a lot of convincing on her part for him to let her go alone. He was not prepared for what came at the end of the summer and as her move-in date came closer and closer, Rey realized she wasn’t either.  


 

Still, she needed to do this. She needed to know what power the dice had held. She wanted answers.   


 

When she stepped into the library five minutes after it had opened, she was shocked to spot a friendly face behind the clerk’s desk.  


 

“Maz?”  


 

“Rey!” The older woman greeted her with a pleasant smile. “Always the inquisitive mind. How are you dear?”  


 

Her former principal looked as though she hadn’t aged a day since Rey had graduated from Takodana Elementary. Nevertheless, Rey was excited to see the woman again.  


 

“I got into Coreilla,” Rey told her, proudly.  


 

Maz beamed. “I always knew you were destined for great things.” Then, noting Rey’s backpack she raised an eyebrow. “Summer work or leisure?”  


 

“Personal project,” Rey admitted. “Do you have any books on markings? I’m thinking what I’m looking for maybe runes or hieroglyphs.”  


 

“I know just what you need,” Maz motioned for Rey to follow her.  


 

She piled Rey up with about seven different texts and showed her where the work desks were situated. “Call if you need anything, child. It’s good to see you again.”  


 

“It’s great to see you, Maz,” Rey hugged her.  


 

Once Maz returned to the counter, Rey got to work. 

 

Rey drew out the symbols she could remember, studying them before she started paging through the books Maz had helped her find.   


 

It took over an hour, but eventually she found a purpose for each of the symbols. The First was a triangular symbol with curved edges. According to the text, this meant Light. The next was a circle within a circle, which meant all things or in some translations, the universe. Then there was a square within a square which meant destructive power followed by a circle with a line through it. She couldn’t tell if it was the symbol for man or woman.   


 

She sighed, not feeling any closer to understanding the mystery behind the dice. If she had all the symbols from the dice she’d see the whole picture, but she could only remember a few.   


 

Maybe if she had know who had given them to Han or why he had chosen to keep them in the Falcon with him, she’d be able to make sense of it all.  


 

Maz came over to her table after Rey let out another frustrated sigh. “What is it, child?”  


 

“None of this helps me,” she complained. “I’m no closer to an answer than when I got here.”  


 

The old woman smiled over at her and patted her reassuringly on her shoulder. “Sometimes the answers we seek aren’t behind us in the past, but ahead in our futures.”  


 

Rey wasn’t sure what Max’s guidance was supposed to mean, but she thanked her anyway.   


 

“Out of curiosity, what were you looking for?” Rey pointed at the symbols she had drawn. “Runes?” Maz asked. “This style is ancient, older than what these books and documented.”  


 

“Do I need a different book?”  


 

“No,” Maz replied. “We wouldn’t have anything that could help you with this. These marking are from a time long before you or I. Only a handful of people even remember them.”  


 

“Is there power in them?”  


 

Rey had stumbled across magick in her search to determine how to unbind Kylo when he had still been with her at the salvage yard. Perhaps it was the cause of the dice’s power over his demonic form?  


 

“Indeed,” Maz confirmed. “Each rune has a purpose and their combinations change that purpose depending on what they are matched with.”  


 

“So why would someone sketch these into a pair of dice?”  


 

Maz’s eyes widened. “You’ve seen these before?”  


 

“Only in dreams,” Rey answered. In fact it did seem like any memory she had of Kylo was fading away like a dream. Her time before coming to live at the Organa-Solo House was less vivid than the new memories she was making with Ben and Leia. 

 

“Why does it matter to you?” Maz asked with a kind, knowing smile, “these markings? Why do they matter?”  


 

“They called to me. They brought someone into my life who I care about.”  


 

“But you want to know why?”  


 

“Yes,” Rey nodded. “Why me?”  


 

“Why not?” Maz countered.  


 

Rey studied the woman, catching the amusement in her tone. “It was you!” She realized. “You were the one to give Han the dice!”  


 

Max nodded. “When he was a boy he struggled a lot. He never met a disaster he didn’t want to tango with but he was always able to scrape by.”  


 

“So what changed?”  


 

Maz took a seat at the desk next to Rey. “He fell into some trouble when he was younger, before Leia got her hands on him and straightened him out.” Rey made a face at that. “I worried about him so I carved the runes into the dice to keep him safe and away from any real harm.”  


 

“After awhile he started claiming they were lucky and he never went anywhere without them. They were in his pocket when he proposed to Leia and again when they got married. He hung them on Ben’s crib when he was born and then in the Falcon...which is where I suspect you found them.”

 

“I did,” Rey admitted.  


 

Maz nodded making a humming sound. “Come with me.”  


 

She led Rey away from her books and her desk behind the library counter into the back office. “I’ve kept this safe for a long time,” she told Rey, shutting the door behind her, hurriedly. “If the dice called to you, then you are what will balance him, Rey.”  


 

“Him?”  


 

“Ben.”  


 

Rey felt her heart beat increase as she stared at the older woman. “What?”  


 

“Ben. He was as unbalanced as his father but the dice were always meant to balance the equation so they called to you. You are his. You calm him. You balance him.”  


 

She tried to comprehend what this woman was saying to her. She tried to make sense of what it Maz was alluding to, but Rey couldn’t understand. How could she balance Ben when she hadn’t known him? She had known Kylo. What did that mean?  


 

“Rey?”  


 

Maz must have read her confused face because she was reaching for her hand. Rey pulled back. There was a level of recognition on Maz’s face she wasn’t comfortable with.   


 

“How? How did you know that?”  


 

“It was his destiny,” Maz told her calmly. “Surely by now you’ve felt it. Bens destiny was always meant to be another — one who understood him but could lead him to the light the same way his mother did to his father. After all, Ben Solo always had too much of his father’s heart in him.”  


 

Rey took in a shaky breath. Hadn’t she thought her and Ben were fated?   


 

Yes.  


 

Then why were Maz’s words so worrisome?   


 

Rey realized it was because nothing in her life had come without consequence. She had dove straight into her love of Ben because he was an extension of Kylo and Kylo had never let her down but what did she really know of Ben Solo? What did she know of them man who had claimed her heart and body?   


 

“Don’t be afraid, child,” Maz comforted her. “This was destined long before you were born. Darkness rises and light meet it.”  


 

“What does that even mean?” Rey asked, too filled with emotion to think clearly.  


 

“It means, child that while Ben Solo was given every thing, he was lost to us but you — you who suffered so great and lost so much — you were always meant for a higher purpose. You never allowed the tragedy of your life to consume you. You became your own hero, your own light. And by doing that, you became his as well.”  


 

Rey shook her head back and forth. “No, Ben saved me,” she insisted.   


 

“Did he?” Maz asked, amusement in her eyes once more. “Or did you save each other?”  


 

And Rey saw the whole picture.   


 

She saw each time Ben let his anger win over and how her presence was able to calm him. She saw how when she was mad or upset he was stable and unflinching — amazingly solid like a rock — serving as her foundation, just as she served as his.  


 

Rey remembered each time Kylo had intervened on her behalf, seeing his intention to protect her as clearly as she could see Maz standing before her. She recalled how Ben had thrown himself at Plutt, getting between her and her foster father without pause. Nothing was as important to him as her and she realized with sudden clarity that nothing in her life would ever be as important as he was to her.  


 

No one came close.  


 

Ben Solo was her first and only love and he would be her love until her dying day. It was a truth she couldn’t avoid and had no reason to want to. 

 

Yet, there was one more question. 

 

“You gave the dice to Han? Why would they work for Ben?” 

 

Maz’s eyes gleamed. “Always the inquisitive mind,” she remarked. “Did you know Han willed both the Falcon and the dice to Ben?”  


 

“No.”  


 

“He did,” Maz informed her. “He didn’t want his son to be without luck, especially after what happened with Snoke.”  


 

“Who is Snoke?”  


 

“Ben’s tutor.”  


 

Rey’s eyes widened in realization. Ben had told her what had happened, one of the events in his life which had shrouded him in darkness, the same darkness Kylo had been made of.   


 

“That man was a snake,” Maz spat. “And Han...well he was never good with his words. But he took action.”  


 

“He did?”   


 

Maz nodded. “Ben didn’t know, Han went to the state board of education and filed a complaint, before Ben confronted his father. Han never told him because the board refused to take action.”  


 

Rey didn’t want to believe no one would intervene on Ben’s behalf, but she thought of Leia’s reasoning and how her middle school teachers had not stepped up for her when she had been bullied. She knew all too well how broken the system was.   


 

“And once Han died, Leia had no drive left. She was a widow with a son in long-term hospice care. All the fights she had made in her past meant little when she was faced with the reality of being left alone.”  


 

“So Snoke is still out there?” Rey asked, scared at the prospect.  


 

“He meant an unfortunate end,” Maz replied. “Once news of Ben’s encounter got out, his other past and current students came forward. They won their case against him two years ago and he was killed during a prison riot.”  


 

It wasn’t the justice Rey had hoped for, but she was relieved to know the monster who had harmed Ben and the others would never harm another child again.   


 

Rey thought on Maz’s words — it was a lot to process — but before she could ask the question still plaguing her, Maz answered it.  


 

“Ben needed you, whether he realized it or not. And you needed him. You balance one another. When you are together, the magick I laced the dice with isn’t needed. You draw upon your own power from each other.”  


 

Rey shook her head. “How is that possible? I don’t even believe in-.”  


 

“There are powers in this world beyond our understanding,” Maz interrupted her. “I only claim to know a few, but I do know this. The dice wouldn’t have reverted back to their original state, if it wasn’t meant to be.”

 

* * *

 

As Rey drove back to the house, her mind was swimming with all she had learned. While she and her answer on the dice, Maz’s belief that Rey and Ben were the balance which cancelled out the dices magick has her wondering. If they were able to render the runes ineffective, what did that make them?   


 

Maz had told her not to worry, when she had sent her own her way, but Rey was concerned. Now that she knew she possessed raw power, she couldn’t unknow it.   


 

Once she arrived at the Organa-Solo house, she made a beeline for the guest bedroom. Ben was there, as she suspected he would be. He had fallen asleep on the bed, a textbook strewn over his stomach and a notebook off to his side. The pencil was on the floor, probably from being pushed off when he stretched out to sleep.   


 

“Ben.” She nudged him, gently, in dire need of speaking with him about what she had uncovered.   


 

“Rey?” He blinked away his drowsiness, patting the spot next to him for her to sit down. “What is it?”  


 

“Maz,” she answered. Ben raised an eyebrow and she launched into her tale of what had transpired during her time at the library.   


 

When she finished, she sat back, trying to gauge his response.   


 

“Maz Kanata? The woman who lives over by the elementary school?”  


 

“Yes,” Rey nodded. “Do you know her?”  


 

“She practically raised my father. She’s somewhat of a surrogate grandmother of mine,” he told Rey.  


 

“Did you know she...,” Rey gestures with her hands, attempting to make a signal for magick. “Did you know she could do things like that?”  


 

“No,” Ben admitted. “I always thought she was a bit off, but not in a bad way. She just always had a way of knowing things. As a kid it was kinda annoying because she always knew when I was lying but now....”  


 

“Yeah,” Rey agreed.   


 

They both sat in silence for a few moments — both taking in what this meant.  


 

“So what now?” Ben asked.  


 

“I don’t know,” Rey shrugged. “Did you put the dice back in the Falcon?”  


 

Ben nodded. “This morning.”  


 

“Then they are where they are meant to be,” Rey replied, somehow knowing in her heart that was where the token was destined to exist.  


 

“And us?” Ben questioned, interlacing his fingers with hers. “What are we meant to be, little one?”  


 

“Together,” she promised, leaning in to kiss him. “We’re meant to be together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news, for those who are sad this fic is coming to an end, the Epilogue is already in progress AND *drum roll, please* the lovey [Panda](http://pandacapuccino.tumblr.com/) has been commissioned to complete a piece for this story, so you'll have that to look forward to.


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [@star-horse](http://star-horse.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing this chapter. 
> 
> To all my friends at [The Writing Den](https://thereylowritingden.tumblr.com/) thank you! All your support and kind words have made me a better writer.

 

It all started the day she had shown up at Plutt’s Salvage and Tow. The girl was barely six years old and scrawny from lack of proper nutrition. Kylo had taken one look at her and known she’d never survive this place — not alone — but children didn’t like monsters. And no one had ever liked him even before he had been turned into a shadow of his former self. 

  


But Rey had been different. She had tried to make friends with him and she and laughed when she had tried to shake his non-existent hand. Yes, they had started out as unlikely allies, both alone in the world and both searching for a place to belong. 

  


It had been ten years since that fateful day and he couldn’t be happier with how things had turned out. 

  


Kylo Ren, the shadow demon, was gone, giving way to Ben Solo who had grown into the man Rey had always needed — into the man she deserved.

  


He had given her a brand new cellphone the day he had helped her move into Corellia College. It had been his gift to her that and a copy of his acceptance letter, which stated he’d be starting in the spring semester. 

  


Rey had been thrilled. They had gone apartment hunting over winter break, finally settling on a single bedroom place a few blocks from campus. It was an older building, but Rey had fallen in love with the courtyard the apartment complex had. It reminded her of the Solo’s backyard and the backyard she had played in as a child. 

  


Ben had kept that in mind. Four years later when he proposed to her, it was in the manicured backyard of their soon-to-be home. “You bought this house?” Rey had asked, staring at him through tear-filled eyes. 

  


“For you.”

  


“For us,” she had corrected him, amazed by the landscaping. 

  


“Rey.” He had gone down on one knee then, wishing to follow tradition and do everything right. She had turned to look at him, clearly not expecting any more surprises that day. But when she took in the state of him, she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. 

  


“Ben?” 

  


“Rey, I love you. I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say, so I want to show you. I want you to let me show you every day of my life, until I die. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

  


She was sobbing into her hands before he could even ask the question they both knew was coming. He fished the black velvet box out of his pocket and had opened it up to reveal the platinum band he had purchased for her.

  


“Rey, will you marry me?”

  


When he would look back on it later, he would not remember how the grass smelled or which flowers were in bloom. All he would remember was the weight of her crashing into him as she dove into his arms, hugging him tightly before kissing him over and over again while she gave him her answer. 

  


“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

  


They had moved into their home the next week, surrounded by friends they had gathered over their time at Corellia. Poe, Finn, Rose, Paige, and Jess all helped them carry furniture and boxes into the house. Even Ben’s former childhood friend, Armitage Hux showed up. They had reconnected when Ben had interviewed at First Order Prep. 

  


After he had obtained his GED, Ben had decided he wanted to be a counselor. He knew all too well the demons he and faced growing up were still a part of him — just as Kylo was. He wanted to help others like him and teach them how to handle their emotions in a healthy way. He wanted to create a safe environment for them, unlike what Snoke had done to him (and, as he would later find out, Armitage). 

  


So while Rey pursued a Mechanical Engineering degree, he had chosen to declare himself a Psychology major, with a minor in Counseling and Therapy. Ben had chosen to fast track his Bachelor’s and finished it along with his Master’s degree in five years. 

  


The year of his graduation was monumental. Rey had graduated already and begun working as a level one engineer for Sonnen. She traveled once a month to their headquarters in Germany, which was the most they had been apart since he had joined her at college full-time. 

  


Ben had struggled through it. Finishing up his degree, planning a wedding, and preparing for life post-college made him anxious and moody. 

  


It had been an emotional rollercoaster of a year for him and Rey. They often ended their Skype chats screaming at one another or with her in tears and him hanging up to curse out himself in the mirror. 

  


Then one day, about a month before his capstone project was due, a knock came at the front door. When Ben had answered it, there was Rey.

  


“I couldn’t do it anymore,” she said, tears running down her cheeks, “I can’t be without you, Ben. We’re not meant to be apart. We’re meant to be here, in our house, together.”

  


After that, things were different. Rey resigned from Sonnen, thanking them for the experience, but telling them she needed to stay stateside for her family. 

  


Lucky for her, Ben knew where she could work. Bespin Natural Gas was in need of an engineer and his uncle (in name only) was all too happy to bring on his ‘niece’ to fill the position. 

  


“Why is it the Solo men get all the luck with the ladies?” Lando Calrissian had asked upon meeting Ben’s fiancée.

  


Leia had jabbed the older man with her elbow and told him to behave, but it was clear Rey didn’t have to fear about her job. Bespin didn’t have to fear either. Rey was a fast learner and had found several areas where the company could improve their efficiency and increase profit margins within her first year. 

  


Ben was in awe of her.

  


She was equally in awe of him. Before he graduated in May, he had received an offer to interview at First Order Preparatory. Unlike his other interview appointments, this one came in the form of a personalized letter and was signed by Armitage Hux, the Headmaster. 

  


As much as Ben complained about working for his friend, he had immediately accepted the position. He had his own office and the freedom to decorate as he saw fit. Rey had helped him organize the space the summer before his first fall semester and by the time school started his office looked as professional as any psychologist’s. 

  


One by one, he checked off milestone after milestone, until the big day arrived. 

  


The morning of their wedding he had been restless, not because he was nervous but because he wanted it to be over. To Ben, it already felt like he and Rey were married. Their connection went deeper than any physical attraction and spanned longer than the few years people believed they had known one another. To everyone but them, it seemed to be happening too soon. To Ben, it seemed like it had taken them a lifetime to get here. 

  


When she walked down the aisle (since his mother insisted on the wedding ceremony being in a church), Ben had never felt so full. His heart stopped and all he could feel was his overwhelming love for the woman before him. 

  


Rey had been the most beautiful bride, stunningly elegant even in the modest gown she had selected. She had wanted to be married with only their closest family and friends, so it was an intimate affair. The entire day had felt like a fantasy to Ben. As he watched her coming towards him, all their past struggles melted away and what was left was the bright hope they shared for their future together.  

  


Rey had chosen to walk herself down the aisle. Having raised herself and put herself through school, she saw no need for a stand-in. She had achieved her life’s goals on her own and she deserved to bask in this moment alone too. 

  


Only she wasn’t alone — not really. Ben was waiting for her at the end and the moment she said ‘I do’ they had made their relationship official in the eyes of those they surrounded themselves with. There had never been a prouder moment in Ben Solo’s life. 

  


Until their wedding night. 

  


As they made their way to boarding a plane for their honeymoon destination — they had chosen the remote island of Naboo — Rey gave him a secretive smile and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

  


“Oh?”

  


“I wanted to tell you last week, but I didn’t want to upset you before the wedding.”

  


“What? Why?” Ben asked, suddenly concerned. “What happened?”

  


Rey beamed back at him, all cherub cheeks and golden light. “I’m pregnant.”

  


It was as if the entire world stopped the instant she told him. Ben had stared her uncertain at first if he had heard her correctly. Then he had engulfed her in the tightest hug he could, sweeping her off her feet and twirling her around in his excitement. 

  


When an elderly gentleman informed him he was making a scene, Ben had turned around and said, “Excuse me but we’re having a baby,” to which the elderly man’s wife began fawning all over both of them, much to her husband’s chagrin. 

  


Ben had been beside himself with excitement. While Rey, exhausted from the day’s events fell asleep before take-off, he sat up for the entire flight, watching over her, knee jumping uncontrollably in time with his chaotic thoughts.

  


Would he be a good father? How would he make sure not to mess up his child’s life? What if the baby didn’t like him? Could that happen? What if it did and then Rey didn’t like him either? 

  


By the time they and landed in Naboo, he was pale with red rimmed eyes. Rey had woken up and jolted when she saw his appearance. She had forced him to remain in bed all day, leaving him to catch up on rest while she laid out by the pool enjoying mocktails. 

  


After several hours of sleep, Ben had calmed down about the pregnancy. It had helped that even though Rey was early on, her hormones were in overdrive. They spent most of their honeymoon tangled up in their sheets and one another. 

  


As it was, Ben had been right to worry, though he had worried about all the wrong things. 

  


Due to the conditions Rey had suffered while growing up, there were risks involved for her pregnancy, which rose exponentially when it was discovered she was carrying twins — a girl and a boy. 

  


Ben’s first thought — as horrible as it had made him feel — was to terminate. He couldn’t lose Rey. His wife, however, was not having it. Stubborn as ever and twice as mean given her pregnancy hormones, Rey insisted on carrying the twins to term — or at least as close as she could safely get. 

  


It was eight months of walking on eggshells and more than a few nights on the couch for Ben, but when spring rolled around, it all came to an end. 

  


Ben had just gotten out of the shower and was standing over his sink basin shaving when Rey screamed. Dropping his razor, he ran into the kitchen, not caring that he was naked. 

  


“Little one?”

  


Rey was leaning against the kitchen counter, grasping onto it so tight her knuckles had turned white. 

  


“I...I think we need to go to the hospital,” she managed to tell him.

  


Before he could retrieve his cell from their bedroom, he caught the trail of blood running down her thigh from under the long T-shirt she wore. 

  


Forgoing an ambulance, Ben scooped up his wife and drove her to the emergency room himself. He broke about fifteen traffic codes while getting her there, but when he explained to Officer Phasma the reason behind his aggressive driving, she had let him off with a warning. 

  


Rey had arrived in time for the doctor to complete an emergency C-section. After what seemed like hours in the waiting room, Ben, his mother, and all their friends were informed Rey was doing well and the babies were being placed in the NICU unit. 

  


“They will have to stay there for about six weeks until they are fully developed,” Doctor Connix informed Ben, as he followed her into Rey’s room. “You and your wife are welcome to visit them at any time. We have a dedicated staff available around the clock.”

  


“Thank you.”

  


Upon seeing Rey lying in her hospital bed, Ben wept. He had kept it together up until now. Now he knew his wife and his children were safe. Any and all emotions he had bottled up released like a tidal wave. 

  


Rey motioned for him to pull up a seat next to her. Once he had, she combed her fingers through his hair and along his scalp, soothing him even as she was healing herself. 

  


Ben had never been as scared as he had been when the hospital staff had separated him from his wife. Normally the father was allowed in the delivery room but given the severity of the twins’ birth and the high risk to Rey, Dr. Connix had insisted on the fewest people required to be in the room. If it was what kept Rey alive and brought his babies safely into the world, Ben couldn’t argue. He was grateful to the doctor and the hospital for giving him his family. 

  


And what a family it was.

  


Jacen and Jaina Solo were equal parts their father and mother. Before they got Ben’s raven hair or Rey’s dusting of freckles, the twins showcased parts of their parents’ personalities. 

  


Jaina was the shy one. Like her father had been as a boy, she was more wary of strangers and was most comfortable when with her brother. 

  


Jacen was the one who barreled head first into things, like his mother. He clamped his tiny hand onto any finger that entered the chamber — he it his mother, his father, his grandmother, or a relative in name only. He wasn’t afraid of anything. Still, he remained close to his sister, often curling around her protectively when they slept. 

  


Ben and Rey had asked the nurses to let the babies stay in the same chamber until they were fully developed. It increased their progress and at the five week mark, the children were permitted to leave the NICU.

  


The second Ben had seen Jacen and Jaina, he was smitten. When they were well enough to be held, Dr. Connix placed Jaina in his arms first, while one of the nurses handed Jacen off to Rey.  


 

Ben could barely see his daughter through his tear-filled eyes. She was a crying mess of pink skin combined with a hazel eyes, but the instant she looked up into his face, she quieted. It was as if she knew right then and there her father would always be there to protect her. It was the promise he made her and her brother that day.    


 

It was a promise he had kept since.

  


That had been four years ago and now Ben Solo found himself in the home he had built with Rey, thankful for each precious day he had with her and their two beautiful children. 

  


It was on the morning of the twins birthday, when he was woken by the sound of rustling under the bed. Ben opened his eyes, smiling to himself when he saw his wife, sound asleep aside of him. She was snoring softly, oblivious to the twin terrors which lurked under their bed. 

  


Two little monsters, Ben mused.

  


It was his pet name for them — one which only Rey found amusing. Leia Organa had scoffed upon first hearing it. 

  


“Benjamin Solo, I did not raise you to speak that way about your children!”

  


Rey had been the one to calm her down and explain Ben meant it teasingly. Eventually Leia stopped ridiculing him each time he said it, though she still scowled on certain occasions. 

  


Sensing Jacen and Jaina hiding beneath him, Ben slowly rolled to his side. Carefully, he leaned the top half of his body off the bed and down to peer into the shadows under the frame. 

  


Sure enough two pairs of eyes stared back at him.

  


“And what do we have here?”

  


Jaina shoved her brother. “I told you we’d wake them up!” She hissed in a hushed time.

  


“I’m hungry,” her twin grumbled, sounding far too much like his father. Ben had to bite back his laughter. 

  


“What are you two doing under there?”  


 

“We were waiting for you and Mama to wake up,” Jaina announced. Her grin took over her face as she spoke. She was so much like her mother, except she was fair skinned like Ben with waves of raven hair.   


 

“Come out,” he told them. “Mama isn’t up yet. Let’s not wake her.”  


 

“Awwww,” they whined, but they crawled out from under the bed as requested.  


 

Ben shook his head, knowing they got their mischievous side from his wife. He couldn’t help but smile each time they showed him a new bruise or he had to wipe dirt from their faces. They were fearless, like Rey, and loved working alongside her when they weren’t outside playing in the backyard.   


 

“How about we make breakfast?” Ben suggested to the twins.  


 

Their faces lit up instantly. “Pancakes?” Jacen asked.  


 

“Sure,” Ben agreed, as he slipped out of bed, making sure to shut the door behind him as he led his children out. 

  


Ben led his children into the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers which were too tall for them. They busied themselves by helping to grab the whisk, bowls, and other utensils for the pancakes.   


 

Pancakes were one of Rey’s favorites. She often begged Ben to let her make breakfast for dinner just so she could lather her stack in sweet berries and powdered sugar or on occasion peanut butter and chocolate chips.  Having a constant source of income and food had taken Rey years to grow used to. Even now, as she neared thirty, she sometimes paused before taking a bite, as if she was the sure when her next meal would be.   


 

There were some scars that not even time could heal.  


 

Despite the demons they had faced while on their road to finding each other, both Ben and Rey had come out stronger and better for it. She had excelled at her job to the point where she now was running her own project for a self-sustainable battery and her product would be released next spring to the public. Ben was up for tenure and a pay increase, which would help since the twins would be going off to kindergarten soon.  


 

Ben wasn’t sure if he was ready for that and he wasn’t sure Rey was ready for it. For the past four years it had been the four of them, living in the house. He had grown used to the sounds the children made, how their feet padded across the hardwood or the rugs. He had even grown used to picking up after them, so as not to wreck his foot on one of their many toys. Now that they were old enough to prepare for school, he wished they were babies again so he could keep them close.  


 

“Can we add bananas this time?” Jacen asked, bringing Ben back to the task at hand.   


 

“I want raspberries,” Jaina whined.  


 

“We can do both,” Ben told them, ending the argument before it could escalate. Unfortunately, both the twins had inherited the famous Skywalker temper. “Today is special.”  


 

“Because it’s our birthday?” Jacen asked, smiling up at his father. He was clever. They both were — both of his little monsters.  


 

“Yes,” Ben chuckled. “And the family coming over later which is why,” he reminded them, lowering his voice, “we are going to be extra quiet so your mama can sleep.”  


 

“Why?”  


 

“Because your mama is tired.”  


 

“Why?”

  


“Because she works very hard.”  


 

“Why?”  


 

Ben groaned. They may have gotten his temper, but the twins had also inherited their mother’s curious nature.   


 

“Because Mama creates things to help people, not just us, but everyone so people can live better lives.”  


 

“Because she’s a hero?” Jaina asked.  


 

“I wouldn’t say hero,” a warm voice commented from the living room.  


 

Ben glanced over his shoulder. There she was, the light of his life, still stunning even in her pajamas and bedhead.  


 

“Morning,” she greeted them all, making sure to hug the children first. “How are my little monsters today?”  


 

“We’re helping Daddy make pancakes,” Jaina smiled, clearly delighted at the prospect.  


 

“We were trying to be quiet so you could sleep,” Jacen added, looking at his feet bashfully.

  


As outspoken as he could be, he was what Lando referred to as a ‘Mama’s Boy’. Rey had rolled her eyes and ignored Lando’s comment, while Ben had just ignored it. His son wouldn’t grow up being raised by nannies or hired help the way he had. No, both his children had two loving parents, a doting grandmother, and an extended family who spoiled them rotten. So if Lando wanted to call his son such a ridiculous name, Ben wasn’t going to let it bother him. He was proud of how his children were being raised and he wouldn’t change it for the world.  


 

“I can’t believe your father let you back in the kitchen after last week’s debacle,” Rey teased, glancing at Ben over the tops of their children’s heads.

  


The prior week, Ben had made the mistake of allowing the twins to assist him in making cupcakes for Rose’s bridal shower. In the end, the only shower any of them had gone to was the one made of flour which the twins had managed to make explode across the kitchen. Rey went to Rose’s party alone, muttering about how she’d have to stop at the grocery store to pick up an assortment of store bought desserts. Needless to say, Ben had made sure the kitchen was spotless by the time she came back home.

  


“We’re gonna be real good this time, Mama,” Jaina promised, handing the flour to her father, as if to make a point.

  


“When are you two ever good?” Rey joked.

  


“Dad said if we were good, we could get a puppy for our birthday.”

  


Ben felt his cheeks burn and the color went straight to his ears. He and Rey had talked about adopting a dog, but they hadn’t actually agreed on moving forward with that plan.

  


“Oh, did he now?” Ben could hear the amusement in Rey’s voice, but also a note of warning. His girl was dangerous that way.

  


“Little monsters?”

  


“Yes, Mama?” They chorused, unaware of the showdown which was about to take place between their parents.

  


“Why don’t you go put on The Lion Guard?” The two raced out of the kitchen and into the living room. Rey crossed her arms over her chest and smirked at him. “Mr. Solo?”

  


“I didn’t say we would get a dog.”

  


Rey raised an eyebrow. “Just that it was a possibility if they were good?”

  


“Maybe,” he rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly, “This is worse than the flour incident, isn’t it?”

  


“Oh yeah,” Rey nodded, “Much worse.”

  


Ben groaned. “I guess I’m going to be the one in the doghouse, huh?”

  


“That depends,” his wife grinned. She glanced over her shoulder, checking to make sure the twins were occupied. They attention was glued to the TV screen in the living room. When she returned her gaze to Ben’s, he saw her hazel eyes darken and a familiar mischievous smile tugged at her lips. “Do you think they’ll notice if we delay the pancakes a bit?”

  


“I don’t think they’ll even notice we’re not out here anymore,” he replied, tugging her hand and leading her back into their bedroom.

  


Just as Ben had said, neither one of the twins noticed their parents’ absence from the kitchen or the strange sounds coming from the bedroom.

  


A few hours later, the twin’s birthday party was in full swing and the Solo house was filled with food, drinks, and at least a dozen small children running around in the backyard. Ben caught his wife’s eyes across the fray, smiling at her in a way that conveyed all his joy. Whether their house was a mess or sparkling clean or whether they got a dog or not didn’t matter. They had each other and their family. That was all that mattered.

  


Their love was a shadow song. It could be seen by those close to them, but never fully understood.

  


There was no way to explain how they had come into one another’s lives. There wasn’t a logical explanation for how Ben knew the most intimate details of Rey’s childhood or the tale behind each of her scars. No one could understand how her presence always managed to calm him down or why he insisted on calling her ‘little one’ desire the face they now had their own little ones running around. 

  


No one — not even Leia — had been able to discern a reason for how the two meshed so well. People often remarked at how mature a marriage Ben and Rey had, because they couldn’t fathom how effortless their relationship appeared. They had an uncanny way of being completely at ease with one another, as if they had always been together.

  


And in a way, they had.  


 

Rey had been scared of the monster under her bed, until she realized the monster was protecting her. The monster had been scared of his own darkness, until he realized she loved him despite it.   


 

For them, it was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T-t-t-that's all folks! Hope you've enjoyed this fic. I've enjoyed all your comments and kind words. Thank you for reading!
> 
> If you like this, consider checking out my other WIP's [Hit Me With Your Best Shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249611/chapters/30308949) and [Same Eyes, Different People](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708050/chapters/31488963)
> 
>  
> 
> I'm starting a new fic, which will be titled "Two Truths and a Lie". Here's a summary:  
> "My favorite color is black."  
> "I prefer pizza over cake."  
> "I think I love you."  
> Or in other words, Kylo Ren, Editor-in-Chief, should not drink with his beguiling staff writer, Rey Niima, after hours in his office. 
> 
> Come say hi on tumbler [@wewantreylo](https://wewantreylo.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, critiques, and kudos are always appreciated. Let me know if you'd like to read the rest. 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr [@wewantreylo](https://wewantreylo.tumblr.com/)


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